From The Ashes
by Anna Morgan
Summary: Loki receives his punishment on Asgard only to find himself in the cruel hands of the Chitauri as his heart and mind battle between redemption and being lost to the dark side. When Thanos proceeds with his plot to sacrifice the universe to Death, Loki must choose what side he is on. Can the God of Mischief overcome his inner demons to find his own salvation? Loki/Natasha
1. Chapter 1 Return to Asgard

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Avengers, I am simply borrowing the characters for my own use. **

**Wow, it has been so long since I've written a story on that I almost feel awkward doing this. I've always been intrigued by the character Loki because of his complexity. Even in the comics he treads a line between being redeemed and lost to the dark side, and I believe that there is good in him, despite all he has done and what he has been through. **

**From The Ashes**

**By Anna Morgan**

**Chapter 1 Back to Asgard**

Loki was standing in the first floor lobby of the Avengers tower, facing out into the destroyed streets. From where he was, he could see the rubble of fallen buildings and cars upturned, evidence of the chaos that had ended merely a day ago. Smoking debris littered the ground still smoldering as crews ran about clearing up the mess. Surrounding him were the Avengers, dressed in normal Midgardian attire now and absent of their weapons. Their faces were smug as they watched him being chained up, their first victory as a team fresh in their minds, and having returned from what he had assumed to be their victory celebration.

Loki had never felt so angry and humiliated. He had been on the brink of triumph - Midgard's "mightiest heroes" divided, the formidable Chitauri forces at his command, his plan perfectly executed- and it had been snatched away from him by none other than these creatures that he had deemed as being beneath him, these Avengers. He saw them as nothing more than misguided outcasts among the mortals, creatures whose powers were far inferior to his own, yet they had been able to defeat him with the Chitauri army at his disposal. And worse, Thor had been there to witness and take part in it all. As the man he had formerly called his brother determinedly shackled his limbs and placed the muzzle around his mouth, Loki could not help but feel a fresh wave of jealous distain toward him, toward the entire situation.

Thor stood directly in front of Loki, pointedly avoided looking him in the eye as he checked the shackles and muzzle to ensure that they could not be removed. When he was satisfied that they were secure, he turned to Captain America.

"I would like a word with my brother in private before we depart," Thor said, his voice full of authority. Loki couldn't help but think that he sounded like a king dismissing his guards.

The Captain understood and nodded to the rest of the team to follow him. As the Avengers left the lobby for the streets of downtown Manhattan, Tony could be heard muttering something about "not much of a conversation with one person muzzled." Thor turned to face his brother once again, this time with Loki actively avoiding Thor's gaze.

"Loki," he started with the same authoritative tone he had with the Captain though somewhat softer, "I wish you to know that despite all you have done, to me, to our family, to Midgard, I still regard you as my brother, and I will ensure that you will be treated fairly when you are brought before our father."

**Your**_** father**_ Loki thought viciously. He brought his eyes up to look at Thor with distain. He was not looking forward to facing the All-Father.

"I may be able to influence father's decision on your punishment, but I will not be able to change his mind about it, once it has been made up. Do you understand?"

Loki continued to glare at him. Taking his brother's unwavering stance as a "yes," Thor placed a hand on Loki's arm and led him outside.

The others were waiting for them by Tony's car along with Dr. Selvig, who possessed the Tesseract. Thor lightly steered Loki into the back seat of Tony's car while Tony climbed into the front. When they had driven for some distance – Loki did not care to fathom how far – they stopped at what appeared to be a bridge. Their small motorcade parked along the curb and his brother led him across the street to a small dark circle on the ground, just large enough for two people to stand on.

As Bruce lowered to Tesseract into its container, Loki looked up for the first time since they had gotten into the car and observed the two Avengers standing in front of him. Hawkeye had been a good companion and tactician while he had been under his control. He could not deny that the man was cunning and his marksmanship could rival even that of the Warriors Three. Beside Hawkeye stood the Black Widow – Natasha, Hawkeye had called her. He took a moment to marvel at how small and surprisingly powerful this dangerous woman was. He would not have thought any mortal could outwit him, let alone a mortal woman. But she had been able to drag a bit of his plan from him, even if it was only a smaller part, by manipulating him into believing she was weak. As the God of Mischief, Loki may have invented that trick but she had perfected it. And he had fallen into her trap. Amidst his anger and embarrassment Loki could not help feeling a certain level of respect toward her at that moment.

Loki looked up at her, his piercing blue eyes meeting her green ones for just a moment. _**She is beautiful for a Midgardian.**_

Almost as if she had read his mind, she broke his eye contact to whisper in Hawkeye's ear. He grinned at Loki with a self-satisfied smirk.

Thor once again placed himself in front of Loki, the Tesseract in hand. Loki reached out to grab the handle as Thor gave one last glance to his fellow Avengers. He turned the handle and the two gods disappeared in a blue haze of light.

When he landed again he was standing on the bifrost, which he could see was currently undergoing repair. He looked to his left to observe the damage. The bright colors of the rainbow bridge still stood illuminated in the black night sky, shattered and jagged-edged along the two sides separated by a gaping hole. A faint shadow of the bright rainbow colors connected the jagged pieces with misty white swirls of light slowly passing between the two edges. He suspected that they were using sorcery combined with Heimdall and Odin's own magic to repair it, a tactic which seemed to be working. He felt a very small but still present pang of guilt.

Thor placed one hand on Loki's shoulder in a soft but affirmative manner. "Come, brother" he said. Loki forgot his feeling of guilt and the dread and anger that had dominated his feelings took over once more. He turned and allowed Thor to steer him toward the palace, his former home, with his hand still placed on his shoulder. There were no guards of any kind waiting to escort them. Loki had figured that Odin would send a detail to make sure that Loki did not slip away. He was mildly surprised but felt indifference, preferring to walk alone with Thor than to be babysat by mediocre soldiers who would not stand a chance against him should he choose to run.

They walked together along the toward the tall golden doors of the palace. Thor gave Loki a concerned glance laced with small amounts of pity every so often. Loki just continued to look forward, his head slightly bowed. He figured that Thor was taking him to the throne room, where he expected to stand in some show-trial before the court and Odin, and receive his punishment from there.

What he didn't expect was for Thor to steer him not toward the main entrance, but along the hedge lined path leading to the right side of the palace, toward a small golden door, just large enough for the two gods to walk through. The door stood out among the white marble of the building even in the cover of darkness. Loki remembered this door as the one that he and Thor used to sneak in and out of the palace as children when they were avoiding their lessons or the angry victims of some trick that Loki had pulled. He gave Thor a questioning look as they made their approach. His eyes asked _**Why are you taking me here? Please tell me that you're going to appeal to my humanity by bringing me to our old hiding places. You know that will not work, you fool!**_

Inside the door was a winding marble staircase, going many, many floors up. They climbed the steps for what seemed like an eternity to Loki with his shackles on; lifting his feet to take big enough steps to climb each stair was a chore due to the shortness of the chains. Finally they reached a long hallway along one of the top floors of the palace. Thor led a somewhat panting Loki (it was difficult to breath under that damned muzzle) to a room just beside the staircase.

Loki knew this room. It was his mother's sitting room. The ceiling rose to a vaulted point with gold and white marble walls, a crimson rug with intricate gold and silver designs like the symbol on Mjolnir covered most of the black reflective floor. A tall marble fireplace graced the room with light from the opposite wall, and on either side of the fireplace sat a crimson chaise and sofa. Frigga, with her long beautiful golden hair tied in a long braid, occupied the chaise lounge. Her silver dress sprawled across the crimson created a beautiful sight. She let out a sound like a shriek and a gasp and leaped up when she saw Thor, his brother shackled and muzzled, looking tired and defeated, beside him.

"Thor!" she shrieked. Her face surprised. Then she looked to Loki. "Oh my…Loki…"

"I could not take him to father first, in front of the entire court. I wished to spare him the shame," Thor said slowly.

Her facial expression changed to one of surprise and sadness as she eagerly crossed the room. She did not approach Thor but made a beeline to her youngest son. For a moment it looked as if she would throw her arms around his neck and sob. Loki could see tears starting to form in her eyes even from all the way across the room. But as she grew closer he could see the sadness in her eyes turn to anger and hurt.

Here was his weakness – he had always loved his mother. She had been the only one to treat him with unconditional love and kindness, and had never shown favor toward either one of her children. In his worry over Odin's reaction, Loki had forgotten about how his mother must have felt about all of this. A new emotion reigned over him more powerfully than any other he had felt that day – shame.

She stopped only inches in front of him. She was smaller than he was by a head, but she made him feel as if he were only as tall as a young child again. She stared at him for just a moment, a mix of sorrow and joy and hurt and anger flashing in her eyes. Then suddenly she reached up and slapped him with all her might. The force of her palm against his cheek had turned Loki's head with a surprisingly painful jolt. If he had not had the muzzle he would have gasped from the shock. Then, she placed both hands on either side of his face and turned him so that she was looking into his eyes, peering into his very soul. She held on tight so that he could not turn his head

"I thought you dead! I have mourned for you! Have you any idea of the pain I felt at losing my child? Have you ANY idea the sorrow and emptiness you left in my heart?!" She paused to catch her breath as the tears in her eyes started flowing. She spoke again, but her words did not lose any of their power as her volume rose.

"When I heard you were alive I rejoiced. I hoped that you would come home safe and well. I hardly believed what they told me of what you had done. You have shamed yourself, your family, and you have shamed Asgard! Is this the intelligent, handsome, kind boy that I raised? Where is he?" She asked the last question desperately, quietly, almost a whisper.

Loki couldn't take it. At this, he fell to his knees in front of her. He was still angry, still painfully angry at everything. He was still embarrassed by his defeat. But the shame that Frigga had infused in him added more to the anger and embarrassment than anything else could have. He was completely overwhelmed with every negative emotion in existence. Tears still flowing down her cheeks, Frigga dropped to Loki's level and wrapped her arms around his neck. He closed his eyes as she whispered "My Loki….my son…"

At that precise moment, the door to the room slammed open behind him and both Loki and Frigga's heads snapped up. She scrambled to her feet and Thor turned around quickly to face the man in the doorway. It was Odin.

"Loki Odinson!"

_**Ah. Here it comes… **_

"I would not have believed it if I had not seen it myself." He stood gravely, his back strait as to bring him to his full height. He closed the door behind him roughly. Loki stood up again to face him. Odin did not continue speaking right away but just observed Loki for a moment shackled and muzzled before him.

"You are guilty of unspeakable crimes. The near-genocide of an entire race on Jotenheim, the destruction of the bifrost-"

Loki's eyes narrowed at this. _**Technically that wasn't my doing….**_

"-the murder of hundreds of innocent mortals…not to mention the damage you have inflicted upon Midgard!" He paused, his eye stern and angry. "And, because of your actions on Jotenheim," his voice more quiet now but not any less angry, "Asgard and Jotenheim are again at war." Loki could see Thor shift uncomfortably to his right. Thor's actions hadn't exactly helped the situation, considering that he had started the conflict by marching into Jotenheim demanding answers as to how two Frost Giants had managed to sneak into the weapons vault.

"Diplomatic negotiations have failed. It seems that war can no longer be avoided. In the present circumstance, a public trial would be unwise. Asgard does not need the turmoil and distraction that such a trial would yield." Odin sounded as if he truly regretted what he was saying. "For the time being, I will not have you locked up in the palace."

_**That is wise. No dungeon in this palace could keep me for long, **_Loki thought angrily.__

"If it is true that you owe a debt to the Chitauri it would not be safe for you, or our family, to keep you here. They will surely hunt you. So for the time being, I sentence you to be chained to the cliff, furthest to the east, where they cannot find you, and you cannot use your magic to harm anyone. You will remain there until Asgard is once again at peace with Jotenheim. At that time I will determine a more suitable punishment for your crimes." He looked at Loki with determination and sadness. He could hardly believe what had become of his youngest son.

Loki's eyes widened with horror. He was to be chained down like a beast, defenseless, away from everyone, to be used as bait to lure danger away from Asgard? Worse, Odin knew how Loki desperately feared the sea. This wasn't punishment – this was torture.

"Father, we cannot leave him alone there with nothing to protect him or watch over him. What if the Chitauri do come for him? He cannot defend himself! He could die!" Thor vehemently protested. Loki was begrudged but grateful for Thor speaking what he was thinking.

"Enough, Thor!" Odin said. Thor just stared at his father in disbelief.

"I will be in Asgard only for tonight. I must go to the front with the troops. While I am away, Thor, you will be the _acting_ king in my absence. I trust your ability to lead at home." Thor nodded silently.

Odin approached Loki for the first time and placed a hand on his shoulder. He looked like he wanted to say something but did not quite know what. Loki glared at the man menacingly. Odin sighed and turned away from him to face Thor.

"Come, Thor. I want a word."

The two of them left the room and walked to the right, Loki staring after them and Frigga calling for two guards in the hall. She whispered to them for a moment. The guards placed themselves on either side of him and led him from the room, Frigga leading them away to the left, toward the staircase again. She shared a glance with her husband for a second before they each went their separate ways.

They walked just a few feet before they stopped. Odin turned to his son. "Thor, I know that this seems harsh but understand I do not do this to Loki out of spite. I must think about the safety of Asgard and its people first, always. He is my son. I will do what I can to protect him, but I will not have his presence endangering the innocent lives of our people."

"I do understand. Loki has done terrible things, but there is good in him, Father, I have seen it. I fear that this course of action will push him further into the darkness." Thor replied.

"This is a risk that we must take. You will learn that as king, you must ALWAYS place the well-being of your people first. This is not a position which allows for personal feelings to interfere with your decision making. It pains me to do this to him, but what else can I do? I must protect my people," said Odin. Thor could see he was stern in his decision and would not be moved. He lowered his head in silence

"I am sorry, Father, for the trouble that I have caused. For what Loki has caused. We never meant for war. I will not disappoint you in your absence." Thor said guiltily.

"See that you do not." Odin replied simply. He nodded, signaling that the conversation was over. "And Thor – I am proud of your victory on Midgard. You seem to have made powerful allies amongst them."

Thor did not expect praise for his actions in light of the grave news, and was unsure how to respond. "Thank you, Father," He replied halfheartedly.

Odin walked away, leaving Thor alone in the dark hallway with his thoughts. He reflected on his feelings and acknowledged the progress that he had made since his own banishment. Perhaps Odin was right in his judgment, and Loki's punishment would do the same for him, make him see the error of his ways and repent. Then again, Thor had had Jane to help him see the error in his ways and change him; Loki was to be confined to the solidarity of his own angry and misguided thoughts. Thor was not sure that this would help Loki. He hoped, as he made his way down the hallway toward his own room that Loki had it in himself to find his own salvation, for his own sake.

**A/N: I always found it interesting what Frigga would have to say about all this. **

**Please feel free to review. Constructive criticism is welcome. Flames are not. **

**I want to point out that this is an M rated story for a reason, as you will see soon. **


	2. Chapter 2 A Proposition

**Disclaimer: I still do not own The Avengers. **

**I took some liberty in combining a bit of mythology and the Marvel universe to form Loki's and some of the other characters' personalities and back stories here. I hope I haven't slaughtered them too badly. **

**From The Ashes**

**By Anna Morgan**

**Chapter 2 A Proposition**

On board the _Sanctuary II_, the being called The Other knelt before his seated master.

"Humans... They are not the cowering wretches we were promised. They stand. They are unruly, and therefore cannot be ruled. To challenge them is to court death."

Thanos rose to his feet and smiled. "And what a shame it would be to keep my mistress waiting."

He walked past The Other to peer into the distance at the Earth. "The Asgardian has something of mine. And I wish to have it back," He stated.

"He would not have left it on Midgard among the humans," replied The Other. "It will be in Asgard. And he, banished, or imprisoned. You must find another to enter the All-Father's vault."

Thanos still faced toward the Earth as he spoke slowly. "I have another – she is also an Asgardian. She will not fail as the fool Loki has. But we will need a distraction." He thought for a moment. "The Chitauri thirst to redeem themselves, to find the traitor who failed them. We will unleash them upon Asgard. And I shall have what is mine once again."

"I will lead them when the All-Father has led his soldiers to Jotenheim. The Asgardians will not be able to fight back," said The Other.

Since the battle on Midgard, they had worked to rebuild the Chitauri army to its full strength again. They now had as many foot soldiers as they had before, and the ships were nearly all rebuild. He was quite proud of the progress they had made. Thanos knew that he could not fail.

"Then we will prepare to go to Asgard. Prepare the army. Asgard shall be sacrificed to Death. And they will be able to do nothing to stop it."

….

Early the next morning before the sun rose, Thor retrieved Loki from the spare bed chamber that Frigga had insisted he stay in for the night. Loki had been grateful to have the opportunity to sleep in a bed one last time, but sleep did not come to him that night. He had spent the night desperately trying to figure out a way to escape from his situation. The shackles that Odin had placed on him stopped him from using his magic; no matter how hard he tried he could not conjure even a simple spell. He had to rely on his own cleverness to find some kind of loophole if he were to escape this. But alas, he could not find one. So he grudgingly followed his brother and Odin, along with a small company of guards this time, all the way to the eastern-most cliff overlooking the sea on the outskirts of Asgard.

Loki walked pointedly and determined, his head held high. He would not give Odin the satisfaction of knowing that he was afraid. So he stared ahead of him and walked in silence, even though the muzzle had been removed.

The cliff jutted out to a rounded, jagged point. Beneath the point was a small cave, just large enough for a full-grown man to sit or kneel in. Odin stopped a few yards short of the point and turned to Loki.

"Loki Odinson," he started (_**Laufeyson. **_Loki thought viciously),

"You shall be detained here as punishment for your crimes. You will remain at this place until Asgard and Jotenheim are again at peace. At that time you will stand trial and a more permanent punishment will be issued."

Odin placed both hands in front of him. Immediately Loki found himself being swarmed by golden light, and the next thing he knew he was kneeling inside of the cave, his arms outstretched slightly behind and downward, chained to the walls on either side of him by his wrists.

Slowly, Odin walked away from the cliff back toward the palace, followed by the company of guards. Thor stayed for just a moment. He wanted to say something to his brother but he couldn't find the words. Not that Loki would have listened anyway. With a sigh, he turned to follow his father.

….

Loki tugged at the chains on each arm, clinging to the hope that Odin had not done the spell correctly. When the chains failed to budge he knew this hope was in vain. He gave a pouting sigh.

_**Great. I've been chained down like a beast and abandoned, with Thor as my only friend. This could not possibly be worse. **_

The sun was coming up now directly in front of him, revealing his view of his world for the next – well, however long it took for Asgard to defeat Jotenheim. To his front the vast sea stretched as far as he could glimpse. Below him were jagged, pointed rocks on which he could see and hear the waves crashing. Out to his left he could just barely see the tiny, blue clouds surrounding the realm of Jotenheim. _**I suppose there are worse places to be imprisoned.**_

Hours passed. The sun rose into a full day and disappeared above him. He was too far away from the populace to hear anything; his only auditory companion was that of the waves rolling against the rocks. His arms and knees were already beginning to throb and then go numb from being still in a kneeling position for so long. His thoughts were angry and bitter as he looked for something, someone, to blame for his current situation. He did not wonder about why he was being punished; he knew why. That was easy enough to figure out. But having nothing else to think about he wondered why, _really_, was he here?

He stared out into the water for a long time. Finally, as the sun began to set again he looked down at the sea, which was now showing the reflection of the sky. Something about the deep blue reflecting the scarlet and orange sunset had a way of forcing him into reflecting upon himself. Somewhere very, very deep in his heart he knew exactly who and what to blame. But his thoughts would not allow him to see reason.

_**You have brought this on yourself you know. You deserve this, and whatever other punishment Odin can come up with.**_

_**This is not my place! I was a king! The rightful king of Asgard! **_

_**That is your own selfishness and wounded pride speaking. You coveted the throne only to prove yourself equal to Thor. And appear a worthy son to Odin. **_

_**Is that what you know? I am a god! The mortals are weak. I only failed because Thor **_**had **_**to interfere. **_

_**Did you not wish to defeat Thor before all of Midgard? Before Odin, and Heimdall? You knew they would be watching. You know Thor is stronger than you. You practically begged Thor to come and fight you! You have brought this on yourself! **_

He sighed angrily. Yes, his pride was what brought him to this place. Thor had offered him the chance to come home, to give up that "poisonous dream." He said it himself: _**I have come too far for anything else.**_ But that did not satisfy the question of why he was there to _begin_ with. Was it really only his need to prove himself to Odin? To prove himself equal to Thor? That was the easy answer. But somehow, that did not seem good enough. There were other things too that had bothered him.

_**My entire life has been a lie. I, the God of Mischief and Lies, am **_**myself**_** a lie. If that is true, who am I then? Oh the Irony! How could I have been so blind for so long? Odin! He lied to me, gave me false hope of the throne only to give it to his precious, unworthy Thor! **_

Yes, he was angry and jealous of Thor. He had always been jealous of his brother, because Odin had always seemed to favor him. His jealousy had been what drove him to send the Destroyer after Thor when he was banished to Midgard. That and he did not want Thor interfering with his plan to kill Laufey in front of Odin. So that Odin would accept him fully as _his son_, not just the Frost Giant child that he had taken in out of a sense of obligation.

So there was one of his answers: he sought acceptance in a world that he knew would not accept him. The simple truth of the matter was that he was a monster hiding in plain sight; he was the monster that parents told their children about at night. Even Odin had told them tales of the horrors that the Frost Giants were capable of to scare them into good behavior when they were very small. He had feared them his entire life only to learn that he was one of them, an outsider.

_**But I always knew I was different. I did not look or act like Thor, or the Warriors Three, or any other Asgardian obsessed with shining in battle. The shock of my true pedigree unnerved me. Would a normal man have sneaked into Jotenheim with a cunning plot to kill his biological father in the name of his adopted father on a whim? No! I made a decision in a moment of madness that I would not normally have made. And that decision spiraled into a whole other chain of events. I was hardly capable of controlling my own actions at the time. **_

BAM. That was it. _That _was what this was all about: _control_.

He wanted control. He had lost control of his life, his circumstances, and who he was. Everything he had done – killing Laufey, seeking power from the being Thanos, taking Midgard for his own – had been an attempt to have control of his situation. He could not control himself, so he sought to control others. Hell, he had even placed several mortals under _mind control_. He felt almost a sense of relief at finally identifying the trigger that had set off this maddening chain of events.

But this also unnerved him. Even now he recognized that he had no control over his fate. He was chained here, with no means of escape, until Odin reappeared to release him. He was living on another's mercy; Odin had something to hang over his head. Until he was free of that, he could not truly have control of his own fate. Also, even if Odin were to come at this very moment, he would have no idea what to do, no plan of action. Where could he possibly go from here? Where did he want to go?

So – what now? That was the real question.

Who was he? Who did he _want_ to be? _**Do you want to be the monster that is imprisoned and chained down like an animal because he is too dangerous to be unleashed upon the Nine Realms? No. But I cannot exactly go back to being the little brother and companion to Thor again. That is out of the question…**_

….

These questions are what plagued Loki as the time passed. Days turned to weeks. After just a few days he gave up trying to keep track of the time that had passed. What was the point? He had no idea when Odin would return, or even _if _he would return. The stories of the brutality of the Frost Giants in battle, combined with the knowledge that Odin was not the strong young warrior he used to be, made him wonder if he _would_ return from the war. All he knew was that he was stuck here until he did. Day after day, he would replay the same conversations in his mind. Would he redeem himself in the eyes of his family and return to them? Would he seek to make his own way elsewhere in the Nine Realms? Or, would he simply seek vengeance and destruction on all those whom he tended to blame for his situation? When his head was swimming and he felt he had had enough he would doze off into sleep, the only place he could escape from his thoughts.

Once in a while some of the children would come along, daring each other to get as close to the "Loki cave" as they could. It became a game to them. As much as they annoyed him, they also reminded him of the shenanigans that he and Thor would pull, and it almost made him grin at some of the happy memories. Those days were ones where Loki would vow to himself, _**When I am free again I will make amends and seek a peace with my brother. **_He even entertained the idea of making peace with Midgard on those days.

But other days, he would scoff at the idea. _**Those pathetic children. Oh how I wish I had my magic so I could teach them a lesson! **_These were the days he was bitterly angry and thought only of vengeance to those he perceived had wronged him: Thor, The Avengers, Odin, The Other, and the being called Thanos, who had given him the power from the Tesseract. He wished ill on them all.

Loki had even labeled these opposing sides of himself. "Good Loki" would urge him to make amends with his family and go back to the way things were; "Bad Loki" would urge him to take vengeance on everyone and everything and continue on the path of destruction. And so he argued with himself. _**Arguing with myself over myself? Surely I am going mad, if I am not there already. **_

And it was just his luck that on a day when "Bad Loki" dominated his thoughts, that she came to him.

….

"So, this is he cave that holds the infamous Loki, God of Mischief and of Lies? Surely your _father_ would not leave you here for the sea to swallow?" It was a woman's voice, oily and yet sweet at the same time.

Loki was taken aback; he knew that voice: Amora, the Enchantress – a fellow sorcerer (well, sorceress). The last time he had seen her had been in the presence of Thanos. _**What business could she possibly have to speak with me? **_

"Have you come to have a gloat, or do you have some business here?" Loki growled his voice rough from disuse. "Perhaps you are here as a collector? If so, you may tell your _master_ that it is no longer in my possession."

"Oh Loki, can I not come see an old friend?" Amora asked sweetly. "Perhaps I wished to share some time with you." He could hear her seductive smile in her voice. It made him shiver.

"Do not toy with the God of Lies, woman. What do you want?"

"I do not deny that I am here on a mission, and so I will be frank with you," her tone changed to be more business-like. "Lord Thanos seeks a certain item in the All-Father's weapons vault. I have no access to this room. I wish to find a way into the palace. _You_ wish to be free of your _cave. _And so I come with a proposition."

Loki considered sending her away, but this was too entertaining for him, so he let her continue. "I am listening."

"I will free you of your bindings. You know my magic is more than capable of reversing Odin's spell. In return you will retrieve this item for me. And you will be able to witness the downfall of the mighty Thor in the process."

If this had been a "Good Loki" day, he would have seen that her proposition was not all that it appeared to be. If this had been a "Good Loki" day, he would have told her to take her enchantments elsewhere and find another dog to play fetch for her, that he was not longer under the control of Thanos and did not need to be a pawn in his plans any longer. But today, "Bad Loki," was in control, and the thought of seeing Thor knocked from his pedestal was too delicious for him not to take the bait. Before he would agree, he wanted to toy with her a bit. Just for a bit of fun.

"And what will you do if I refuse your proposition?" Loki asked slyly, his voice coming back to life again "How does the _great Enchantress_ plan to slither her way into the palace if she will not convince the God of Mischief to aid her in her schemes?"

"Can you refuse?" her voice was back to its oily sweetness again. "I know how you would love to see him fall. How you must hate the mighty thunder god, Loki! But no matter...I can leave you here to rot by the sea. I shall carry out this mission...for long have I wished to conquer the heart of handsome Thor!"

That was her plan? Seduce Thor into giving her what she seeks? _**That may work on the great sorcerers, woman, but not on Thor. He loves the mortal woman too much. You poor, foolish being, you would not stand a chance without me. **_

"I accept your proposition," he said. "Free me from this place and you will have what you seek."

**A/N: Loki is such a complex guy. I hope I've been able to do his character and his thought process justice here. I do love angsty Loki. Also – the line "How you must hate the mighty thunder god…" is an actual quote from the comics. I just borrowed it for my own use. I thought it was clever and it fit in nicely.**

**As always, please review. I love to get feedback. Again though, constructive criticism is welcome, flames aren't. **

**Anna**


	3. Chapter 3 The Battle At Asgard

**A/N: So I've realized that my writing style is a little dull. I've attributed that to three reasons: **

** 1. Being a master's student in information analysis means that all my writing is analytical and boring. 2.I've been reading **_**way**_** too much Hemingway lately (Any Hemingway fans out there? I love him…). Or, 3. I really am just that rusty. **

**Anyway, I've worked really hard on this chapter, so I hope it is more entertaining than the first two. On to the story! **

**From The Ashes**

**By Anna Morgan**

**Chapter 3 The Battle at Asgard**

_Natasha was running down the long, white hallway, flames and thick, black smoke closing in around her. A fire alarm was screaming and flashing a barely-visible white light somewhere above her head. She couldn't see where she was going. She stopped when she smacked into the wall at the end of the corridor and dropped to the ground. There was a door barely visible to her right. Quickly, she sprang up and pushed the door open to reveal a set of stairs._

_She covered her nose and mouth with her hand as she descended the smoke-filled stairwell to the first level of the hospital. Even there she could hear the howling and anguished screams of the trapped patients in the floors around her. There were bodies sprawled across the steps, some with burns covering their face and hands and covered in charred clothing, some who appeared to have suffered smoke inhalation and just collapsed. _

_Finally, she reached the lobby. She was panting by now, and coughing. A thick layer of sweat covered her head and face. Through the smoke she could see the exit right in front of her. She ran toward it. When she was no more than a few yards from the door, she tripped and flew face first onto the floor. Looking behind to see what she had fallen over, she saw a young boy, no older than seven or eight, crouched on his hands and knees, wailing. He looked up at her, tears flowing from his eyes, mixing in with the blood and charred skin that covered his entire body. He barely looked human._

_She stared at him for a few seconds. Then she reached for her gun, pointed the barrel between the boy's eyes, and squeezed the trigger. _

With that, Natasha launched up from her bed and fell right over the side of the mattress onto the floor, still covered with her sweat-soaked blanket. She was breathing hard as she looked around her bedroom. She wasn't at the hospital; she was still in her apartment. The darkness around her told her it was probably the middle of the night.

She sighed and ran her hands through her hair_**. It was just a dream**_. Her heart was racing almost painfully. After a few minutes she rose to her feet and walked into the bathroom. She flipped on the lights and turned the cold water tap on. Cupping her hands beneath the stream of water, she splashed her face a few times before turning the water off again and looking up to stare at her own reflection.

Natasha had had that dream before. It was one of many that contained incidents from her past that refused to be forgotten, incidents that she had been involved in before she worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. Over the years, the nightmares had subsided somewhat, but once in a while one of her atrocities would creep into her mind and cause her to have a nightmare.

Thinking back on her and Clint's last mission, she had no doubt where the dream had come from. They had barely escaped the abandoned Hydra base before it had exploded behind them. As hard as she had tried not to think about it, the explosion reminded her of the hospital fire. And now she had just had a nightmare about it. She shook her head and exited the bathroom to her bedroom again.

Deciding that sleep probably wouldn't come to her, she grabbed her gym bag to head to the training room at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. It became a ritual to her to work out after she had such dreams. It calmed her down by giving her something to release her pain without hurting anyone or herself. In the bag she stuffed her cell phone, her workout clothes, her S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform, shoes, and other necessities before grabbing her keys and quickly leaving the dark apartment, and her nightmare, behind her.

….

Loki smiled maliciously as he felt the chains melt away. He was free! He called for his magic and delighted when it responded immediately, flooding through him and he embraced it as an old friend. Satisfied with himself, he disappeared and reappeared onto the cliff.

When he opened his eyes he was still kneeling has he had been in the cave. Beside him Amora stood, her long blonde hair blowing in the breeze. Loki stood slowly to give his legs a chance to get used to standing again; they felt a little bit wobbly and his knees ached. He took a few steps to get his muscles used to movement again.

He was glad to be rid of that place. _**But at what cost? **_he thought._** I have to sneak into the weapons vault. That will not be so simple. What have I gotten myself into? **_He tried to hush those thoughts as he reminded himself that this was all to have his revenge against Thor. But the thoughts lingered in his mind.

"Our bargain?" said the Enchantress, snapping him back to reality. He turned to face her.

"Yes," he replied slowly. "What is it that you seek?"

"An object called the Infinity Gauntlet. I trust you have seen it?" she asked.

"Of course I have," he snapped. "I am not blind to the objects in the vault."

Amora chose to ignore his tone and continued "Retrieve the Gauntlet and meet me at the centre fountain. Before the day is out you will see the mighty Thor fall from grace," she said.

"How, may I ask, do you plan for that to happen?" Loki asked.

"You will find out soon enough," she said sweetly. "You will know when it does."

Loki's tone was dark when he answered her. "As comforting as your words are, they are but words to me," he scowled. "How do you expect me to stroll up to the fountain with a powerful magical weapon from the All-Father's vault without drawing attention to myself? Hmm?"

She frowned slightly as if she didn't want to give away too much of her plan. "I'll secure a diversion for you. Besides, I believe you are capable of casting an invisibility spell, are you not? You will be well hidden."

It was then that it struck Loki: _**she is hiding something. I can feel it. **_Rather than ask outright, he hid his inner turmoil and simply nodded toward her. "Well, let's not waste any more time then, shall we?"

And with that, Loki disappeared.

….

When he reappeared he was standing in the garden behind the palace among the tall hedges lining the perimeter. With ease he cast an invisibility spell over himself and patiently waited, forming his plan_**. It will be simple, really: use one of the backdoor passages into the palace, take out the guards stationed outside the vault, grab the gauntlet and disappear. **_An invisibility spell used too much energy when used for a long period of time, so he could not risk using it for too long, lest he need to escape.

But the sense of doubt and suspicion he felt from Amora's last comment filled him once again. She had something to hide from him, he knew it. She was not telling him something, something important. He had seen it in her face just a moment before. He could recognize a lie and a cover-up when he saw one. He was the _God_ of Mischief and Lies after all.

_**Do I really want to do this? That witch is lying to me. Something is wrong about this. **_

_**She has freed you! You have an accord. Do you not wish to see the man responsible for your misery fall? **_

Loki frowned. His mind and his conscience battled once again. This time, he did not hush his conscience.

_**Thor is not responsible for any of this. I brought this on myself. And now I will make it worse. Is this really what I want? To be **_**used**_** as a means to an end once again? **_

_**No. **_

He had made up his mind. With a fresh wave of determination to strode stealthily along the edge of the garden toward the palace. He had a plan. He just hoped it would be enough.

Quickly and quietly as he could, he snuck up the white marble steps into the palace, hiding behind tall bushes to keep out of sight of the guards. He didn't bother climbing the steps but grabbed onto the wall of the tallest step and hoisted himself up. Being tall and lanky had its advantages. Once up, he hid behind the nearest pillar and then dashed inside the open walkway leading to the first floor. He breathed a sigh of relief. _**That was easy enough. Only two more floors to go. **_

He cast an invisibility spell to avoid being seen in the walkway as he sprinted toward a doorway at the end that he knew contained a set of winding stairs. When he took the first step he let the invisibility spell disappear and he was reminded of the night Thor had brought him back from Midgard. Thankful that he did not have the chains this time, he sprang up the stairs, carefully muffling the sound of his boots on stone.

After only a few steps there was a deafening explosion and the ground shook violently. He stopped and looked up. _**What in the name of Valhalla…? **_

Loki forgot all stealth as he raced the rest of the way up the stairs. Smaller explosions followed the first one as he reached his destination. Outside the stairwell there was another open walkway lined with tall pillars that reached the ceiling and looked out into the city. He cast another invisibility spell and ran out into the walkway to look out into the city.

The explosion had come from a nearby tower. Only a few feet from its foundation were left standing as people scattered away from the smoldering remains. He looked up at the red and orange sky to see a great ship firing beams of energy at anything and everything in its path. He knew that ship.

It was the Chitauri. Loki gasped and stared out in horror at the destruction before him. A dozen leviathans glided across the sky, toppling into buildings and sending debris flying in all directions onto people running away desperately to avoid being hit. Several more buildings were on fire from the beams fired from the mother ship.

_**So this was the diversion Amora spoke of?**_ he thought in awe. Whatever he had expected it had not been this. And suddenly the words of The Other formed in his mind:

**If you fail, if the Tesseract is kept from us, there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevasse where I can't find you. You think you know pain? He will make you long for that so sweet as pain.**

His horror turned to panic as he realized the true danger he was in now. He had to get out of Asgard. _**No. I have to get the Gauntlet out of their reach. **_He turned toward the door of the weapons vault and was met by a spear colliding painfully with the side of his face and he was knocked off balance. He had forgotten to maintain his invisibility spell and it had melted away to reveal him.

The spear belonged to one of the guards outside the vault. Loki regained himself and conjured two green balls of energy to hurl at the guard who hit him. The guard crumpled to the ground as another approached Loki from the side. Without hesitation Loki turned and grabbed his spear to use as leverage to flip him on his back. For the first time since he used the trick on Heimdall Loki blew on the two guards to encase them in ice where they lay. _**It is for your own good. **_

Making a mental note to free them once he had the gauntlet, Loki again headed toward the vault. He threw open the doors and flew down the steps to the long vault and looked around frantically. _**Where is it? **_He looked in each of the gaps along the wall until he came to one that held a golden glove.

He quickly snatched the gauntlet in his hand and admired it for a second. _**All this for a damned glove? **_ With one hand enclosed on the gauntlet he waved his other hand and another gauntlet, precisely identical to the one he held, appeared in a flash of golden light.

Loki brought the two gauntlets up to his face to examine them, looking for any imperfection that would reveal his deception. Once he was satisfied he waved his hand and the real gauntlet vanished from sight. He could conjure it again later once he was safely away from the danger.

Suddenly something very heavy hit Loki in the ribs and he was sent flying to the end of the hall, stopping only once he crashed into the far end wall. He crumpled in a heap of pain on the ground clutching his side with his free hand. The impact had knocked the wind out of him. He attempted to sit up, gasping for air. Before he could rise he was knocked down once again, this time onto his back. He felt a pressure on his chest as Mjolnir was placed on top of him. He could barely breathe. He looked up to see Thor standing over him, glaring at him in anger.

"How have you escaped?" Thor growled.

"Thor, listen to me, there's no time to explain-"Loki gasped.

"How have you escaped?"

"They seek the Infinity Gauntlet!" Loki managed to choke out. "I must get it out of Asgard!"

"And into the hands of the Chitauri?" Thor asked accusatively, his volume rising.

"Damn it, I am trying to help! Get this thing off me and let me explain!" Loki said as quickly and loudly as he could manage.

Thor summoned Mjolnir and grabbed Loki by the collar, holding him close to his face. Loki coughed and sputtered for a few seconds before speaking again.

"Amora freed me from the cave in exchange for the Gauntlet," he explained quickly. "I did not know that the Chitauri would be involved. _This _Gauntlet," he lifted the decoy Gautlet to show Thor, "is a fake. I will give this one to Amora and take the real Gaunlet somewhere safe!"

"How am I to believe you?" Thor growled. "How am I to know this is not merely one of your tricks, and that _you_ have brought this upon Asgard?"

Loki looked at Thor like he was stupid "The Chitauri seek to torture and kill me for my failures to them, why would I aid them in an attack against my _home_?" He waited for a second. "Thor, I beg of you, for once in your life you must trust me." Loki added in desperation. He was breathing quickly now.

Thor looked at him for a few seconds and his face softened. He let go of Loki roughly as he staggered back a couple of steps. Loki looked at his brother, waiting for him to speak.

"Where do you intend to take it?" Thor asked.

Loki shook his head. "Anywhere. Vanaheim? Or perhaps Alfheim."

"Take it to Midgard," Thor ordered him. "Take it to the Avengers. They can protect it until the danger passes."

"Are you mad?" Loki practically yelled. "They will kill me on sight!"

"I will not have it going anywhere else! Take it there, or back to the cave you will go!" Thor threatened.

Loki growled at him. _**Bastard… **_"Fine. But you will come to collect me when I have been imprisoned by them again!"

Thor placed his hand on Loki's shoulder and looked at him in the eye. His gaze was intense and somber. "I swear to you, brother, they will not harm you. I will make sure of that."

Another explosion snapped their attention back to the situation at hand. Thor, his hand still on his brother's arm, took off running, half dragging Loki beside him. Together, they flew swiftly out of the hall and back into the walkway. At the top of the stairs, the two guards still lay frozen where Loki left them. Loki skid to a halt and turned back toward the doors. He made a pulling motion with his arm and the doors slammed shut. With another wave of his hand the ice dissolved off of the guards and they lay conscious but limp on the ground. His deed done, he chased after Thor across the walkway.

No sooner had they passed the midway point of the walkway it was blown apart from a beam of light shot down from the mother ship. Debris sprayed them as they dived in unison to the ground. Loki looked up to see the laser of the Chitauri mother ship aimed directly at them in the distance. As another beam of light formed to strike them down, Loki, acting on instinct, leaped across Thor's back and grabbed his arm. Conjuring as much of his magic as he could he teleported them in a flash of green light.

They landed with an "Oomph!" on the cobblestone street, Loki still covering his brother protectively. He rolled off Thor onto his hands and knees, his vision blurred and his head swimming. His arms shook as he pushed off the ground, the decoy Gauntlet still in hand. The magic required to transport two gods drained him of energy. Thor grabbed him from his shoulders and helped him up the rest of the way.

"Thank you," Thor said.

"Don't mention it," breathed Loki.

Loki took a second to regain his composure before they took off once again. Looking around at the overwhelming destruction that surrounded him, he could only think of getting the decoy Gauntlet to the fountain.

"Heimdall!" Thor shouted. "Get the people to the bifrost! Get them out of Asgard!"

He didn't have to wait for an answer. Almost as soon as he spoke Loki heard the whirl of the bifrost coming back to life. _**The bifrost must have been completed in my absence. How long was I imprisoned in that cave?**_

The reptilian-like Chitauri foot soldiers were now fighting hand to hand with the people of Asgard, who had finally begun to fight back. The men who were left behind bore spears and hatchets as they swung at the Chitauri. Even some children were picking up debris and throwing them at the Chitauri as their mothers dragged them toward the bifrost. Loki wondered at what Thanos could possibly have been thinking when he attacked Asgard. _**He should have known that the Asgardians would fight back. Fool! All of them are warriors! What was he thinking?**_

He was only a couple hundred yards away from the circle that held the tall golden fountain now. His eyes darted at Thor and then back to the fountain to relay what he was thinking. Thor seemed to understand. He turned to usher some more people toward the bifrost as Loki took off behind him toward the fountain. He weaved, dodged, and jumped between Chitauri soldiers, occasionally throwing a ball of golden and green energy at them. By now, he felt weak and out of breath. He had still not recovered from apparating himself and Thor, and his energy reserves were running low.

Finally, he reached the circle, practically gasping for air, clutching the Gauntlet as close to his body as he could. He looked around frantically for Amora. _**Damned woman, where is she?**_ If it the situation had not been so grave he would have found the fact that she was fashionably late for their date amusing.

"Loki! Do you have it?" came Amora's voice from behind him. _**About time.**_

He turned around to face her. "Take it! And leave Asgard, witch!" He thrust the decoy Gauntlet into her outstretched hands. "Now go!"

He held his breath while putting on the best poker face he could. _**Take the bait…please take it…!**_

She seemed to have bought it. But instead of just taking the Gauntlet and leaving, she held onto it with one hand and conjured a bright red ball of energy with the other. She thrust it straight into Loki's chest and he collapsed before he had a chance to react. He was paralyzed; he couldn't move at all. He lay there on his back, his hands clutching the place where the spell had struck him, stars swimming in his vision.

Four Chitauri soldiers roughly hauled him to a kneeling position before slapping chains interconnected onto his wrists, ankles, and neck. Another muzzle was conjured and wrapped around his mouth

Inside his head he was screaming, panicking. _**No…No…No…No…! **_He tried to force his muscles to struggle, but the spell still gripped him mercilessly. There was nothing he could do.

"Take him to the ship. Let Lord Thanos know we have the Gauntlet," Amora told the Chitauri.

They dragged Loki off the ground and threw him onto one of the four speeders waiting nearby. They mounted the speeders and took off toward the mother ship, Loki frantically searching the ground. When the bifrost came into view, Loki could see Thor herding the last few Asgardians into the great golden sphere. _**This is the last time I will see my brother, **_he realized.

Loki could see the soldiers retreating back, some onto leviathans while others leaped onto speeders like his own. In his mind he dreaded what he knew in his gut was coming_. __**He will make you long for that so sweet as pain. **_Those words were the last thing he would remember as the speeder entered the dark hanger of the looming Chitauri ship.

….

**A/N: Finally an action chapter! Sorry for the long wait, I promise in the future it won't be as long. **

**Next chapter we will earn some of our M rating too. Stay tuned!**

**As always, I love to get feedback so please review. Remember: constructive criticism = ; flames = **


	4. Chapter 4 The Very Last Inch

**Warning: This chapter contains depictions of torture and implied suicide. Told you we would earn some of our M rating here…**

**I took the title of the chapter from the graphic novel **_**V For Vendetta**_**, specifically the quote from Valerie's letter: "****An inch. It's small and it's fragile and it's the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it, or sell it, or give it away. We must never let them take it from us." I felt it was appropriate for his situation, and it served as kind of an inspiration for this chapter. **

**From The Ashes**

**By Anna Morgan**

**Chapter 4 The Very Last Inch**

Loki couldn't remember how exactly he had gotten there. He felt groggy and sore as if he had been beaten by the Hulk a thousand times over. He blinked several times before slowly opening his eyes completely.

He was sitting in a small dark room surrounded by black steel walls, except for one semi-transparent wall to his left. A soft blue-white glow emitted from the wall though it provided little illumination to his surroundings. A single light shined down from a lamp that dangled overhead. The white beam nearly blinded him as it cascaded downward onto his face. He seemed to be bound to the chair he occupied, the chains that had been thrust on him still dangling from his limbs. His arms were behind him hanging uselessly as he struggled against his bindings. His magic failed to respond when he called for it and he let out a frustrated growl.

Behind him came the screech of the metal door swinging open as The Other strode in, followed by a handful of other Chitauri soldiers.

"Loki Laufeyson," The Other hissed. "At long last. You have evaded us well, but not well enough."

"I missed you too, darling," Loki replied with as much sarcasm as he could muster.

A knife slipped from underneath The Other's sleeve and dropped into his hand. Swift as lightning he grazed the blade across Loki's left cheek.

"Hold your silver tongue!"

The cut oozed a thin red line that slid down his cheek. Suddenly a piercing burning sensation filled the area around the slit, making him grimace from the sting. _**The blade must be impregnated with poison…**_

The Other spoke again. "Did you think you could hide from him? Did you think you could keep what is rightfully his from his grasp? I shall enjoy watching you suffer for your failures, Asgardian…"

"Surely you must know that I no longer have what you seek," Loki said as calmly as he could, his cheek still stinging from the poison.

"Where is the gem?" The Other hissed at him.

"It has been sent off, I know not where."

"Liar!"

The Other thrust the poisoned blade straight into Loki's rib cage, plunging it in all the way to the handle. This time, the burning seared through him immediately coupled with the pain of the stab wound. He looked down at the ground to hide the painful expression on his face but he did not make a sound. He wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

"Where is the gem?" The Other asked again, more forcefully this time.

Loki gasped for breath. "It has been sent off. It is no longer in my possession."

"Where have you sent it?"

"I know not where!"

This earned him another stab, this time in the thigh. He could hear the blade slicing through his skin, could feel it tearing his muscles all the way to his bone. He grunted in agony as The Other twisted he blade before slowly pulling it back out again. The poison seemed to get stronger over time as the burning engulfed his entire lower body.

The Other grabbed the front of Loki's collar and held his face close to his. "You will tell us where it is. Until you do I will make you writhe until you beg for death. Then you will speak. And being merciful, I will swiftly oblige."

"Oh, good, I hate long waits," Loki gasped sarcastically.

The Other held the knife to his throat. "This is your last chance, Asgardian. You _will_ tell me where it is."

"I know not where it is." Loki closed his eyes tightly. Truly, he did not know what had become of the scepter or the gem within it, but he could not have them going to Midgard to search for it. Not if he was to take the Gauntlet there for protection.

The Other tore him from the chair, snapping the bindings clean off of him and threw him into the corner. The fatigue in Loki's muscles kept him from pushing himself up off the ground. Before he had the chance to move again, two of the Chitauri forcefully lifted him from the ground and carried him to the center of the room, directly under the light.

They slammed him down with a force strong enough to rival the Hulk as Loki made contact with the cold ground. His head crashed onto the steel floor and throbbed painfully as the edges of his vision blurred. In a flash his jacket and shirt were removed so that his torso was completely exposed. The cold floor was a welcome balm against the heat searing through him from his wounds.

He knew he couldn't fight them off just now; he would have to wait until the opportunity presented itself and make a break for it then.

Two of the Chitauri soldiers in the room held him down in a spread-eagle position, one each pinning his arms to the ground. The Other partially straddled him, one knee on his chest, the other on the ground beside him. He began to cut and slice every bit of Loki's skin with the poisoned blade, scattering gashes long and short, deep and shallow, across his chest, abdomen and arms.

Loki squirmed and recoiled with the cuts, but still he did not make a sound. He willed his mind to focus on his escape. He shut his eyes tightly again, as if he believed that if he couldn't see them they weren't really there.

Finally, The Other stopped his rampage and looked down on Loki to admire his work. The trickster was trembling near uncontrollably, his muscles spasmed from the burning of the poison that coursed through his entire body now, and covered in a thin layer of his own blood. Satisfied with his work The Other grinned and rose to his feet and spat in Loki's face before taking a couple of steps back to observe the scene.

Loki took this as his opportunity and sprang into action. He mustered all the energy he had left to swing his legs up and around to his arm, where his feet collided with the soldier pinning him down to his right. The soldier fell to the side and he turned his attention to the soldier on his left, kicking him in the chest as hard as he could. With the second Chitauri down, he made a mad spring toward the still open door.

But three more Chitauri pounced on him as another slammed the door closed, sending him crashing to the ground hard. He continued to struggle, to attempt to get up. But his reflexes were too slow, his body too weak, and he was once again spread-eagle on the ground, this time his legs and arms both being pinned down. The Other dived on him again and thrust the poisoned knife straight through the back his outstretched palm, slicing completely through his hand , with so much force as to embed the tip into the steel floor. This time, Loki did not hold back the blood-curdling scream, the sound echoing throughout the room. He was so loud that he was sure the sound would be etched into the walls forever. The Other produced another blade, precisely the same as its predecessor, and repeated his act to Loki's other hand as well, effectively crucifying him to the floor.

_**This is it. I've failed. They're going to kill me right now…**_Loki thought desperately, knowing he had been defeated. He had missed his only opportunity; there was no escaping his fate now.

The Chitauri that he had kicked had gotten back on his feet and rushed to him carrying what looked like a cylinder disk with syringes filled with a dark crimson liquid lining the outside edges. Without hesitation, as if it had been his plan all along, he thrust the cluster of needles straight down onto Loki's chest, directly over his heart, and squeezed the plunger.

If Loki thought the sting from the blade's poison burned, it was nothing compared to this. A burning that emulated the intense fires of Muspelheim had erupted in his chest and was coursing through his body in a flash. His blood was _boiling_ from the poison; his muscles felt like they were disintegrating as burns broke out from his skin all over his body, blood gushing from the open wounds.

He twitched and thrashed on the ground, screaming until there was no more air left in his lugs to scream with. He could barely breathe anymore as he struggled to take short ragged breaths. He was dizzy and his vision had begun to blur. The only other sound in the room was the manic laughter of The Other as he relished in Loki's pain.

_**Please…Please…end it now…please make it stop… **_Loki begged hopelessly in his mind. He could not have voiced his plea even if had wanted to.

The Other's laughter subsided and he stood over Loki, looking down on him like an insect about to be squashed.

"You are weak, Asgardian, pathetic! You deserve every ounce of agony you have received, that you have yet to receive," he hissed.

And with that, he swiftly booted Loki hard in the temple, and Loki's world went black.

….

Loki lay on his back on the cold steel floor of his cell when he awoke again. He didn't want to think anymore, it _hurt _to think. Everything hurt. His muscles were still sore from the poison, even hours later, though the burning had dwindled to a dull smoldering feeling. His head throbbed painfully. He could feel the welt from the kick that mercifully ended his first round of torture.

After what seemed like hours he finally had the strength to sit up. A blood-encrusted hand rose immediately to his temple to ease the throbbing that still lingered. The cell was comprised of the same black steel as the previous room, but this time it covered all the walls and ceiling as well. A soft glow of light shined under the door that provided the only illumination.

He remained seated and used his free hand to feel around in the darkness. His hand fell to a soft pile of leather and fabric that he recognized as his own jacket and shirt that had been removed from him earlier. _**How thoughtful of them…**_ he thought bitterly.

He knew that his situation was hopeless. He was too weak to even attempt another escape. He had been effectively tortured and humiliated. The only future he had to look forward to was whatever tortures they could concoct for him next.

His only comforting thought was that he could still feel the Gauntlet's presence in his personal space. Throughout the ordeal it had remained within his grasp, unseen. He had not completely failed. He was almost able to force a smile at this thought, and he allowed his feeling of accomplishment to fill him. This one shred of success awoke a determination in him that gave him light in this hellish darkness he fought through. As long as it was safely out of their reach, he would not give up.

_**I **_**will not **_**go down without a fight. Not here, **_he decided.

….

But as the time passed the determination that Loki felt faded gradually with every day, every week, as the Chitauri fabricated new ways to torment him. The Gauntlet's safety was still his only motivation (he had given up after a couple of weeks on Thor coming to his aid), though rather than a being a comforting thought it faded to more of an obsession. He would endure the tortures, thinking only about how the Gauntlet would be safe if he could endure just one more round.

Loki's punishment had become a game for them: do whatever they could to bring him to the brink of death until he was unconscious or else couldn't respond with enough energy to entertain them anymore. They repeated the knife-and-poison tactic often, but soon found other methods when they grew tired of the same routine.

The first "new" game was to use electric shocks during their interrogations. They chained to a metal chair that was bolted to the floor and jabbed at his sides and his head, sending electricity through him until it would burst right through his skin, sending blood spurting across the floor. Of course they spattered punches, hits, kicks, and spitting throughout the routine whenever they could find a window.

One of their favorite games was to lock him in a small, closet-sized chamber, lined with shards of broken glass and blades whose tips contained a substance that would make him relive the worst memories of his life until he would scream or cry from his own self-induced anguish. Though it was less violent physically, they delighted in his child-like screams and tears and laughed at him as he humiliated himself. When he was no longer entertaining to them they would drag him to his cell and leave him.

….

One day, after a round in the electric shock room, Loki leaned against the wall and pounded his fist against the wall out of anger and humiliation. He needed _something _to release it all on, and the wall was a worthy candidate. After a few minutes, he stopped, breathing heavily. His anger had started to ebb away when he heard a soft, almost shy-sounding knock from the other side. Loki's eyes snapped to the wall and he stared as if it had just spoken to him. His heart pounding, he hesitantly knocked back, this time without the rage, and the knock was returned once again.

There was another creature in there. So he wasn't the only one there after all.

And so it became a routine for him: after each round of punishment, once he had the strength, he would crawl over to the wall and knock, and the creature in the cell next to his would knock back. Sometimes, when he was lying on the floor, he would hear it, and return the gesture in kind. He learned that it didn't matter how long it took for the other to respond, as long as they eventually did. The knocking became almost a source of comfort for him, as one prisoner would ask the other "Are you still there?" and the other would reply "Yes." He wasn't sure why but it almost seemed that the presence of another being gave him more strength to endure his torture, to know that someone else knew his suffering, a friend. And to his surprise, he actually _cared _about the being next to him.

But as suddenly as the routine began, it evaporated. Loki would knock after each round with the Chitauri, sometimes several times, but the knock was not returned. He held on to the hope that the creature in the next cell was still there, even after he sensed that several days had gone by (he didn't have a sense of time anymore).

Slowly, grudgingly, he accepted that he was once again the sole center of attention for the Chitauri's cruelty, and resigned himself to being alone once again.

….

After another painful round, Loki laid down again on the floor of his cell, precisely in the same position they had dragged him in, looking up at the ceiling. It would be hours before Loki could even think to sit up or move. When he did finally bring himself to sit up, he leaned against the wall and brought his knees up to his chest. His thoughts consisted of his past sins (courtesy of the hallucinogens from the small chamber still dully coursing through him) or else different escape plans, ranging in varying degrees of feasibility, chasing each other around in his head. He allowed himself to think about what his next step would be, once he was outside of his prison, though he realized how small a chance he had of those thoughts coming to fruition.

His head still ached from the drugs as he ran one hand through his matted hair. _**If I ever do escape from this place, **_he thought, _**I will **_**never **_**ally myself with them, or any of their allies, again…**_

He had decided this shortly after his first round and repeated it to himself nearly every round thereafter. He _hated _his captors with a burning passion, with every fiber of his being, more than he had ever felt for Thor, or Odin, or anyone – anything – else. Even himself, as he came to realize just how repulsive a being he truly was; he hated the monster he had become. He truly was the bane of the Nine Realms' existence. His thoughts drifted back to his words to Odin in the vault when he had first discovered his true ancestry: _**Because I'm the monster that parents tell their children about at night…**_

_**This is what your thirst for revenge has brought you, **_he would berate himself. _**A life of pain and misery and for what? Your own twice-damned pride… **_

His family hated him. Asgard hated him. Midgard hated him. Jotenheim _certainly_ hated him. He had no true allies, save for Thor but he didn't exactly seem reliable just now. Everyone he had once considered a friend he had betrayed. He could die here and no one would mourn for him this time. He felt as if he already had died. He was alone.

The reality of those thoughts sank in deeper and more devastatingly than any wound he had thus received. Tears welled up in his eyes as he truly felt the effects of what he had just realized. He buried his head in his hands and didn't bother to hold them back as they fell. After all, there was no one there to see.

Not wishing to think about anything anymore, he lay back down and closed his eyes, inwardly hoping that it would be the last time he would do so…

….

**So there you have it, another chapter down. It's a bit dark, and shorter than the other chapters, but I feel like it's necessary to see the cruelty that he suffered at the hands of the Chitauri in order to understand him later. **

**As always, please review! I love getting feedback (remember constructive criticism is good, flames are bad. If I suck at least tell me why lol). **

**ALSO! It has come to my attention that some of you may see a plot hole in this story already so I want to clarify: Loki cannot use the Gauntlet in his situation for a couple of reasons. The easiest is that the chains wears stops him from using his magis so he can't conjure it again (see the first paragraph). The second, for those who are familiar with the Gauntlent in the comics (I actually have read the Infinity Gauntlet comics 1-6. Yes I know my geek is showing...), the Gauntlet itself doesn't have powers, but is an object that holds the Infinity Gems and allows them to be used together.  
**

**And in any case, when do Loki's plans EVER go as he intended them to?  
**


	5. Chapter 5 Open Wounds

**This chapter is going to take a break from Loki to check in on the situation in Asgard and Midgard. I know, it's one of those bridge chapters, but an important one nonetheless. And you get a little bit of angry Natasha and Clint. Enjoy!**

**From The Ashes**

**By Anna Morgan**

**Chapter 5 Open Wounds**

The hustle and bustle surrounding the area of Midtown Manhattan was enough to annoy anyone. Life had returned to relative normalcy in the months following the extraterrestrial attack on their planet as people once again scurried about their business. Still, almost a year later, some buildings were undergoing construction or repairs, but all the debris had been cleared, the streets had been repaired, and the Stark Tower Complex had been completed. The latter was Natasha's destination as she hurried through the thick crowds of people toward the tallest tower adorned with a great glittering "A."

Natasha had gotten quite an urgent call from Director Fury about half an hour ago telling her to get herself to the Avengers Tower immediately. Of course he would call her on her _only _day off in the last two weeks. Reluctantly she dragged herself out of bed, showered quickly, and here she was fighting her way through the crowds. She scowled to herself as she weaved and dodged expertly between the people as she hurried her way to her destination.

She rushed through the glass sliding doors to the elevator and pushed the button for the eighty-fifth floor, the headquarters of the Avengers. The ride up was long and slow as she tapped her foot impatiently. She hated elevators but wasn't about to rush up eighty-five flights of stairs. Still cursing under her breath at Fury, she stepped out of the stopped elevator to the large room.

In the center was a round, glass-top table, surrounded overhead by a series of large screens that were currently turned off. Standing beside the table was the source of her annoyance as he talked loudly into his phone. In the corner, she could see Bruce and Tony working furiously on one of Tony's two-way screens, muttering commands to JARVIS. And to the far right side that was lined with a long wall of windows stood the God of Thunder himself, looking careworn and anxious as Steve appeared to be comforting him.

Rather than face Fury right now, she immediately headed for Thor and Steve, who had been the only occupants of the room to notice her presence.

"Lady Natasha," Thor said quietly in acknowledgment, not looking at her but staring at the ground.

Her annoyance faded to concern over the god's apparent distress. "Thor what's going on?" she asked in a concerned voice.

It was Steve who replied to her, Thor looking as if he couldn't bear to speak. "Loki has been kidnapped," Steve said informatively. "The Chitauri attacked Asgard and took him with them. Apparently just before they took off with him he turned sides and tried to save Asgard and they took him prisoner. I suppose Bruce and Tony are trying to track them wherever they are in the universe. Fury has Erik and Jane on it too,"

Steve stood with his arms folded across his chest as he spoke. Natasha liked him; he had all the calm and poise of a military commander and he was a good leader.

Thor shook his head disbelievingly. "I was gathering my people to safety through the bifrost when I saw them take him. I tried to follow them, but they disappeared before I could reach them," Thor spoke finally. "Asgard has been destroyed. My brother is in the hands of the enemy."

"And now SHIELD has a few thousand Asgardians running around New Mexico and Arizona. I think they're going to divide them up and send them to different bases around the world though. We don't have the facilities or resources to care for them all in one place," Steve finished. Thor placed his head in his hands and stared at the ground.

While they spoke, Clint had apparently arrived and was now speaking with Fury, who was finally off the phone. He seemed to be filling Clint in on the situation as he threw glances toward Thor and then over to Bruce and Tony, his arms crossed across his chest.

"Agent Romanoff!" Fury called across the room, motioning her to come. She looked back at Thor and placed a comforting pat on his shoulder before turning to leave.

"I take it Rogers has filled you in on the situation?" he asked as she approached.

"Yes."

"Good. I have about ten thousand aliens in the southwest region headquarters right now and another ten thousand alien _warriors _on the way. I'm placing you and Barton in charge of finding places to house these people. Stark and Banner going to work with Thor to get Asgard rebuilt so we can get them home; Dr. Foster and Dr. Selvig are trying to trace Loki. We can't sustain a long-term recovery op for an entire race. I'm _anticipating_ a three month sustainment period," Fury spoke matter-of-factly.

"Do we have a SITREP on the situation in Arizona?" Clint asked. "Specifically any casualties?"

"Only minor and non-life threatening from the sound of it. We've got several medical teams en route to their location now," Fury shook his head. "I sure as hell hope we can get them back in three months, we don't have the resources to take care of this many refugees."

"Have you consulted the counsel yet?" Natasha put on her professional SHIELD agent mindset, forgetting her annoyance completely and focusing completely on the mission at hand.

"Fuck them. They're my advisors, not my higher-up. They could give their opinion but I've already made my decision on the matter."

Natasha smiled. After the battle the counsel was displaced from the chain of command for their decision to launch a nuclear strike against an unarmed civilian population. Instead, they were advisors to the Director of SHIELD, instead of the overseeing power. Natasha recalled the gleeful look in Fury's eye when he had found out, like a child discovering that Christmas had come early.

Steve and Thor approached the three of them slowly, Thor having regained his composure some as he strode over with his head held high. He looked every once the king he was supposed to be.

"Director," Thor spoke, "I am sincerely grateful for your assistance. You do not know how much this means to me, and my people."

Fury held out his hand to shake Thor'swho received it with only polite enthusiasm."You saved our planet last year," Fury replied. There was a smile in his voice but his face was stern and professional. "It's the least we could do."

"When do we deploy?" Clint asked.

"Noon. I'll have Hill meet you there, she's coordinating the damage control right now. Thor will go with you," Fury answered.

….

When noon came Clint, Natasha, and Thor boarded the Quinjet from the roof the Avengers Tower and headed toward the southeast. Clint and Natasha had briefly gone to SHIELD headquarters not far from the tower to change into SHIELD uniforms and gather their black overnight duffle bags, which they now stowed in the back of the jet beneath the benches before taking a seat. They sat on either side of Thor, offering bits of advice and walking through what to expect once they landed.

"Thor, may I make a suggestion for when we get to New Mexico?" Natasha asked over the roar of the engine.

"You may."

"Since you can't be everywhere at once, why don't you appoint a governor, or a temporary leader, for each group, just until Asgard is safe again?" she suggested. "They would report to you at regular time intervals to let you know the state of the group and that way you can divide your attention equally among leading, rebuilding Asgard, and finding your brother."

"Just as long as they're people you trust who are responsible," Clint added.

Thor thought for a moment. "That is a good suggestion. Of course I will still travel to each of them to see their state, but it would allow me aid in restoring Asgard as well," Thor said thoughtfully. "You are truly a wise maiden, Natasha." He bowed his head. "I wish my brother was among us. I could use his cunning and strategist mind. I have missed him," his voice had lowered as well, barely audible over the sound of the engine.

_**Except he would probably lead a coup against you. Not exactly a big help…**_Natasha thought to herself. She didn't dare speak those words though and instead reached up to place a comforting arm around him, while patting his shoulder.

Clint spoke to him, "Jane and Erik are working hard to find him, Thor. If anyone can find Loki, it's them. Just think, you'll probably be able to see her while you're there!" Clint attempted to cheer him up. Although Thor didn't feel much better about the situation, he did manage a small smile at Clint's words. He _was _looking forward to seeing Jane again.

This and other suggestions and plans dominated the conversation for the remainder of the three-hour flight. Natasha and Clint were careful to steer the conversation as far away from Loki as they could and instead focused on the task at hand.

When they arrived in New Mexico, the situation looked very much the way Natasha had expected it. The scene looked like a renaissance fair had been bombed and the still-costumed inhabitants had forgotten that they were in the modern time. Asgardians scattered the premises, both inside and outside. Families were huddled in masses together in the lobby, the hallways, and anywhere else they could find the room. Most were covered in debris and some had small trickles of blood seeping from cuts to their arms and faces. Some looked around in awe while others simply stared at the ground or comforted crying children. Natasha noted that there were few men among them; the men would have been off fighting the war that Thor spoke about and would be arriving shortly.

As promised, Hill had met them at the landing pad, clearly frazzled and stressed. Clint and Natasha exchanged glances that clearly said '_we have our work cut out for us' _as Thor strode ahead of them to gather his people together so as to speak to them.

The day though went as smoothly as the situation would allow, thanks to Thor's leadership and Clint and Natasha's expertise as logisticians. Thor was able to calm people and offer them reassurance while the SHIELD agents performed such tasks as finding occupancy limits for the various SHIELD shelters located around the globe, locating supplies, and arranging for transportation to the shelters. As promised, a mass of another ten thousand Asgardian warriors arrived with Odin early in the evening, doubling the number of occupants on the property. Clint and Natasha chose to wait until they arrived before sending people to the shelters, so they could minimize the number of families being broken up.

The reunion of the royal family was bittersweet as Natasha watched from a distance. Thor ran to embrace his father, who received him with open arms. Frigga, who already occupied her husband's side, placed an arm around Thor's shoulders, who then turned to scoop her into a hug. Natasha smiled as she leaded against the wall, observing the happy family. But her smile faded as Thor's face suddenly turned solemn and mournful as Natasha suspected he informed them of Loki's fate. Frigga melted into Thor's arms like ice turning to water. Odin's expression mirrored Thor's – full of sorrow and concern. Natasha frowned as pity flooded through her. Odin placed his hands on Thor's shoulders and spoke what looked like words of consolation. Natasha lowered her eyes and sighed and she turned to get back to her work.

Clint and Natasha worked like robots, continuously and steadily until the last round of refugees took off around one in the morning, leaving the base with only the basic number of SHIELD operatives. Odin agreed with Natasha's suggestion to Thor, and appointed the temporary governors himself, making his wife and son each the governors of a group as well as a handful of other loyal soldiers whom he trusted. He waited until all his people were safely in jets to their destinations before he urged his family into the last aircraft of refugees. Though they only spoke briefly to Clint and Natasha to offer their sincere thanks for their assistance, they held a high respect for Odin by the end of the day. There was no question where Thor got his calm resolve and wisdom as a leader from; Odin was the ideal image of a king, with all the poise and professionalism that one could expect from a man in his position.

….

As the last jet took off into the inky black sky, Natasha was left alone in the New Mexico desert and she breathed a sigh of relief. She was tired, and her head hurt as if she had been hit in the head with something heavy from the day's activities. The beauty of the scene around and above her compelled her to look up and admire the star-strewn sky. It was much prettier out here than in New York. As she stared into the night, her thoughts wandered to the Chitauri ship and its cargo, which had so far evaded detection.

Thor said that Loki had turned sides, that he had repented. Natasha didn't know if she really believed that, but still she couldn't help feeling a small measure of pity for him. She remembered how vicious and unfeeling the Chitauri were during their battle and she didn't imagine they would be the most caring captors. Did anyone really deserve that? She could only imagine the horrors he would probably endure – that he was maybe enduring _now_.

"It's nice out here isn't it?"

Natasha was snapped from her thoughts as she heard Clint's footsteps slowly making their way toward her. He stopped when he reached her side.

"It almost reminds me of Iowa," he continued.

"Why, because we're in the middle of nowhere?" Natasha teased.

"That and you can actually see stars out here. Can't really see _this _in Manhattan."

She didn't reply but turned her attention back to the night sky. Clint mimicked her as he crossed his arms and tilted his head upward. They sat in silence for a few minutes as they admired the scene, surrounded by the warm night air. It was Clint who broke the silence once again.

"You know, I've been trying to get you alone to talk to you since that mission in Dubai," he said cautiously. "You've been avoiding me."

"We don't have anything else to talk about," Natasha said simply. "I'd rather just move on from it."

"Well, I'm not done talking about it," he seemed to have finally reached the point he had been hoping for. "I really am sorry, Natasha. I was an idiot."

"Clint…" she started, shaking her head.

"It was one time, I wasn't thinking clearly and I fucked up. I've learned my lesson," he turned to face her. "Please, forgive me."

"Really, Clint? Was it _just one time?_" she asked sternly. He stayed silent.

Natasha sighed. "I have forgiven you," she turned to face him. "You're my friend, and my partner. But I can't go back to what we were. You know I care about you and I would trust you with my life, but I can't trust you like _that _again." She held her gaze so as to reinforce her decision.

"We were doing well for, what, eight months – " his voice was quieter now.

"I wouldn't call it 'doing well' if you were jumping back with Janet when I was out on solo missions," Natasha snapped. She had enough of this conversation, and he was really annoying her.

Clint started to get annoyed with her as well. "If you weren't so cold and distant maybe I wouldn't have," he mumbled.

"You could have, you know, brought that up to my attention and we could have worked it out," She said angrily. "And if I'm so 'cold and distant' why are you bringing this up again?" She seemed to have cornered him.

"Because I still care about you, and I don't want to just throw what we had going away!"

"Then you shouldn't have been sleeping with her behind my back. You have my answer. Period."

Clint searched her face, looking for some hint of weakness in her decision, but found none. He looked back down at the ground, defeated. Without another word, Natasha turned heel and headed inside to the bunk room that she shared with Clint. She was fuming. She typed the passcode into the keypad as she approached the door, her slender fingers hitting the keys harder than was necessary, and sat herself down on the bottom bunk, still seething.

It had been two months since she broke off her relationship with Clint after finding out what he had done while she was away. She didn't think that she would have been as hurt if he would have come clean, but instead he had tried to cover it up and hope that she wouldn't find out. His betrayal still hurt her to think about it, like reopening a wound. She hated how he followed her about, trying to get her to change her mind every chance he got. She hadn't lied- she did still care a lot about him. But still, even if she did get back with him again, she couldn't trust him. Their relationship would be defined by suspicion and doubt, and she didn't want that. The majority of her life was shrouded in lies, deceit, and secrets; she didn't need it in _that _aspect of her life too. She was perfectly content to just forget the whole ordeal and return to their "friends and partners" status.

After a few minutes, she finally rose from her spot and changed into the tank and shorts that she had brought to sleep in. She climbed into the blankets as the fatigue she had forgotten about from her conversation with Clint filled her once again. She closed her eyes and let sleep overcome her. Before she drifted off, she heard the door slide open once again, and Clint gracefully climb into the top bunk.

….

**A/N I am SO excited for the next chapter :D I've got it about halfway done already. I actually thought about waiting to post this one until it was finished, but I think it would be too much. This is the end of the 'background/stage-setting phase of the story and it's going to go a LOT faster from here. **

**BTW Janet is the first name of the Wasp's alter ego – she was one of the actual founding members of the Avengers in the comics, and if I remember right, she actually named the group "The Avengers." She and Hawkeye did actually have a brief romance in the comics at one point. I do like to try and incorporate actual aspects of the comics in here. **

**Thanks for the small explosion of reviews last chapter! It was much more motivating to write this one (and the next one :D) knowing people actually enjoyed the last chapter. As always, I love to get feedback. Please review, tell me what you think! (just no flames please). **


	6. Chapter 6 The Trickster's Tale

**A/N: This is it! I've had this planned in my head since before I even sat down to write the first chapter. I'm glad the moment is finally here! It's a little bit longer than the previous chapters but totally worth it, I promise! Enjoy! **

**From The Ashes**

**By Anna Morgan**

**Chapter 6 The Trickster's Tale**

Loki slowly regained consciousness, though he kept his eyes shut. He groaned inwardly, disappointed to find that he was actually still in existence.

He allowed his eyes to open, his muscles still dully throbbing in pain. He wasn't sure what had woken him – he had entered a dreamless sleep for once, despite the hallucinogens' faint presence. Had the Chitauri come back for another round? He thought he heard the handle of the door turn, the scrape of the metal door sliding against the floor. Perhaps he had been dreaming after all.

He sat up once more and looked anxiously toward the door, half expecting to see the Chitrauri looming over him, ready for another game. He studied the door carefully. There seemed to be nothing different about it from when he went to sleep – same thick metal armor, bolts around the perimeter, a small crack lining the edge…

_A crack? _ Loki raised an eyebrow and looked at the door disbelievingly. _**Surely they had not forgotten to close the door? How long has it been like this?**_ He didn't recall there being a light shining through when he had fallen asleep (not that he was paying much attention to the door). His heart threatened to leap right out of his chest as he crawled toward the door. He placed his hand a few inches from the bottom and, painfully slow, pushed the heavy metal just a little bit. It _was _open.

He pushed again, more confidently this time, and peered out of his cell, looking for any sign of the Chitauri. Finding none, he rose to his feet and swayed a bit, readjusting his legs so that they could support him easier.

For a fleeting moment he actually debated whether or not to make a break for it. If he was found, they would certainly kill him. But the thought of allowing this opportunity to slip through his grasp was unimaginable. _**They're going to kill me anyway. I may as well take the chance now. **_

He stepped out into the corridor and looked around. It was dark, save for the dim row of lights lining the floor and ceiling. He glanced along the wall, which was lined with doors just like his. The cell door to his left was also slightly ajar, and unable to resist the temptation, peered inside. It was empty. He sighed. If his friend was there, perhaps they could have escaped together.

He looked at his own door, searching for some clue as to how it had been opened in the first place. On the handle was a small, bloody handprint. Loki was sure it would have come from a woman, or maybe even a child.

_**Are you here to play detective? Run, you fool! **_

Snapping himself out of his trance, he focused on the mission at hand. He began to move cautiously along the wall, trying to make himself blend in with the shadows. He followed the corridor to the end, where it forked in two different directions. Following his instinct, he chose the path to the left, moving slowly as to keep his steps silenced, cursing at the chains that still impeded his magic. _**What I wouldn't do to get rid of these damned chains…**_

He only had his intuition to guide him through the maze of corridors. _**There must be a teleporter on this ship somewhere. **_The whole time, his heart raced almost painfully in his chest and his mind fluttered, planning his escape, and a backup plan, and another backup plan…. Failing in this situation was not an option. He focused his attention on the compass that was his instinct instead of what the Chitauri would surely do to him if they discovered his escape.

He passed by the rooms that he recognized as the same ones they used for the poison-knife game. Through one of the semi-transparent walls, he could see the silhouette of a smaller, human-like being hanging upside down from one leg, the other hanging uselessly at an awkward angle. The being didn't move as it spun slowly on the end of its chain as Loki stopped in spite of himself to look. He tried not to consider the possibility that the being was perhaps the friend who had made his escape possible, and instead shook his head and kept moving.

In his moment of distraction, Loki hadn't heard the footsteps of the guards behind him. His ears picked up the sound too late as he heard the angry snarling directed at his direction. He looked to see two Chitauri rushing toward them and without another thought he took off running, harder than he had ever run before in his life. Panic flooded through him and he was sure his heart was going to come out of his throat. He disregarded being silent now as he heard the movements of his captors closing in on him from behind.

Loki ran, weaving through the dark corridors, his pursuers gaining on him every moment. He tried to confuse them by making sudden turns, hoping to throw them off of his trail. Finally he reached a corridor leading to a bridge, suspended above several floors below him, with several more like it on the lower floors. Somehow he knew what he had to do. Swiftly, gracefully, he grabbed the rounded handrail of the bridge and flung himself over the ledge. He felt his legs buckle beneath him painfully when he landed in a heap on the hard metal floor of the bridge. But he had no time to dwell on the pain as he picked himself up and dived in the doorway at the far end. He looked up in time to see the Chitauri run by on the bridge above him. He was breathing hard and his vision swam in front of him as if he had just broken free from a noose. He took just a moment to catch his breath as he leaned against the cold metal wall for support, sighing in relief.

He could hardly believe his luck so far. _**The Chitauri are cruel beings, but they are by no means intelligent… **_But they knew he was out now, and they would surely have alerted every being on the ship to his presence. He had to get out, and he had to do it _now. _

He started running again, slower this time to almost a jogging pace, letting his intuition lead him once more. A couple of times he heard the voices or footsteps of Chitauri and was forced to duck in a doorway or against the wall. After what seemed like an eternity, he came upon a room lined with glass walls. Inside was the very mechanism he had been hoping to find – the teleporter.

He easily pried the sliding door open and slipped inside, closing the door behind him. He could feel freedom at his fingertips and his heart finally started to slow down, relief flooding through him. He made his way to the control panel, still looking around and behind him for his pursuers as he scanned the buttons and knobs, before locating a small silver key in the right hand corner. He pressed it and the backlights of the control panel and monitor came to life in a series of silver and blue flashes. Almost like he knew exactly what he was doing, he pressed keys and turned knobs until he achieved the results that he wanted. Loki knew where he was going – exactly where his brother had told him. He looked over his work carefully, looking for any flaws. He had made sure to take the time to program the device to erase its history once he was gone so that the teleporter would not reveal his destination, should the Chitauri check the teleporter's history log.

As he was about to press the key that would have ensured his freedom, the door behind him was violently thrust open as two Chitauri breeched the room. Loki barely turned in time to duck out of the way as one made a dive for him, spear in hand.

_**Of course they're going to walk in right now**_, Loki thought to himself.

Loki swept his leg across the floor as the second Chitauri charged at him, sending it crashing to the floor. He leapt to his feet like a loaded spring being released as he turned to face the first Chitauri, who was coming back for a second round. Loki was running on fear-induced adrenaline alone, being exhausted from his lack of recovery time between torture sessions. He knew he couldn't handle them in a hand-to-hand fight; he would have to rely on his movements only.

He continued to dodge, leap, dive, and swerve, making the Chitauri chase him about the room, clambering into each other. Eventually Loki managed to trick one into embedding a spear into the chest of the other. He grabbed the spear from the dead Chitauri's hands and raised it defensively as the other one angrily brought his own spear down on him, the blood of his comrade still seeping down the handle.

Loki couldn't last much longer, and he knew it. He was getting fatigued, despite the energy his own adrenaline had provided him, which was quickly depleting. The Chitauri had cornered him between the edge of the teleporter's control panel and the wall. With one mighty heave, Loki took his last bit of strength and shoved the creature across the room. Without hesitation, he hit the final key and the teleporter awoke with a revolving cry, emitting an icy-blue light from overhead.

With one spectacular leap, Loki sprang up over the control panel and into the light. The last thing he heard was the angry cry of the Chitauri, and he disappeared.

….

Loki landed with a soft _thud _on the ground, his eyes closed tightly. His world was still spinning around him and he felt as if he were going to be sick. He didn't wait for the nausea to subside before willing himself to sit up and observe his surroundings.

It was night time, and the cold night air both nipped at his extremities and acted as a balm to some of his still-bleeding wounds. He seemed to have landed in the middle of a park; the ground was covered in soft green grass and he was surrounded by trees. A concrete path reflected pale lights from poles illuminating though the darkness. There was no one around; he assumed the mortals would all be asleep right now.

He tried to stand but his knees wouldn't allow it and he slumped right back down onto the ground again. _**Damn it all, **_he thought angrily_**. **_He waited for just a moment before trying again, this time slower, and he finally forced his legs to support him, though he still felt nauseous and dizzy.

Looking around and up at the sky, he knew he was on Midgard but wasn't sure where. The setting seemed familiar to him but he could not recall many details of his surroundings during his previous visit, so the familiar feeling didn't do much to help.

Suddenly it occurred to him that he should move. If the Chitauri were able to follow him, they would have an easy time capturing him again if they came to the same spot. He moved parallel to the concrete path and followed it as it snaked around to an entrance about a hundred yards from where he landed. He looked up at the buildings looming over him, their bright lights shining even brighter than the moon and stars. As he scanned the skyline his eyes fell on a building in the distance adorned with a large glittering "A." He knew that tower!

His determination recharged, he started toward the tower at a quick walking pace, not having the energy for a full out run. The few people that were left on the street gave him quizzical and frightened looks; he was still clad in his torn, dirty, blood-stained Asgardian attire that he had been wearing the entire duration of his ordeal, and he still had the chains on to boot. He wished he could use his magic to morph into something more appropriate but instead he just quickened his pace, taking longer strides than he would normally.

By the time he reached the tower, he was out of breath, his vision was beginning to tunnel, and he could feel his insides climbing into his throat. It was with some difficulty that he clung onto the door handle and yanked it open just enough to allow himself to slip in. It looked almost exactly the way he remembered it when he last saw it. _**As I was beaten up and clad in chains, **_he remembered._** How ironically familiar. **_

From the door beyond the receiving desk he could hear footsteps and voices, one belonging to a man, the other to a woman. His vision was fading fast and he hung his arm on the desk in an attempt to hold himself up for just a few moments longer as the black around the edges of his sight closed in on him. Before he collapsed to the ground, the owners of the voices came through the door and he locked eyes with their shocked faces before allowing himself to succumb to unconsciousness once again.

….

Of all the Avengers and SHIELD agents that she could have picked, Natasha decided long ago that Steve was her favorite sparring partner. Clint was more of a long-distance fighter and none of the other Avengers could handle her speed and accuracy. Although the SHIELD agents were trained in hand-to-hand combat, none of them showed the superior skill that she had, courtesy of the Red Room. Steve, even though he didn't have her level of skill either, didn't tire easily at all thanks to the super-soldier serum's increase in endurance, and Natasha delighted in taking him under her wing to hone in on his skills. At first, he had been hesitant to hit her because she was a woman, but she soon broke him of that after easily taking him down several times, proving to him that she could handle anything he threw at her.

It had been a normal sparring session for the two of them that evening. They had spend the better part of two hours at the gym in the basement of the Avengers tower, throwing punches and kicks mercilessly until they were too sore and tired to carry on any further. They laughed and talked as they climbed the stairs (Natasha refused to take the elevator and Steve, being ever the gentleman, refused to let her go up the stairs alone), talking about everything from strategies to Bruce's new kitten.

As they reached the door, Natasha could feel her gut telling her that something was not as it should be, and she held out an arm suddenly to stop Steve, who looked at her confused. She slowly opened the door and stepped out first to look around. At first she didn't see anything. She nearly screamed in shock when they both looked toward the receptionist desk to see Loki, clinging to consciousness by a thread. Before either of them could move to draw their weapons, he collapsed to the ground.

Natasha rushed to the fallen god's side, placing two fingers on his neck, and breathed a sigh of relief when she found a pulse.

"Steve, help me get him to the elevator!" she called.

"One second I'm going to warn the others," he replied before pulling out the phone that Tony had given him.

Natasha could hear Steve talking to who she assumed to be Bruce, because he was asking to gather all the medical supplies that he could. She did a quick assessment on Loki's wounds, seeing several cuts and bruises, lacerations, and what appeared to be multiple stab wounds. _**My god, **_she thought, dumbstruck, _**how he hell do you do **_**this **_**much damage to an immortal being? **_

Steve put the phone back in his pocket and rushed over to Loki, grabbing one arm and placing it around his own shoulders while Natasha mirrored him on the other side. He was _incredibly _heavy; it took all the strength Natasha had to keep him steady. They hobbled over into the elevator, thankfully leaning his unconscious form against the back wall. The ride seemed to take even longer than usual.

When the elevator finally stopped, the Avengers who resided in the common lounge floor were ready and waiting for them. Natasha and Steve staggered forward, towing the unconscious god along, and helped move him to the sunken center of the floor.

Natasha and Steve lowered Loki slowly while Bruce and Tony helped to guide him down steadily. Clint stared at them in disbelief, as if he couldn't quite comprehend the fact that the God of Mischief lay unconscious in front of him, and so he merely stayed out of the way.

Bruce pulled out a couple of packets of smelling salts from his pocket as the others stood a few feet back. The second the little packets snapped under his nose, Loki stirred and his eyes fluttered open, his face wrinkled like he had just been punched square in the face.

"Ah!" he cried as he coughed and sputtered. His whole body ached from fatigue and abuse, and for a second he considered just lying there. He propped himself up on his elbows and blinked his eyes until the room and its occupants, who now surrounded him, became sharp.

The Avengers were standing over him cautiously yet domineering, almost as if they expected him to attack them at any second. He looked around at each of them – Clint, Tony, Steve, Natasha, and Bruce – and almost chuckled from the irony.

"This looks oddly familiar," he said with amusement.

At his words, Clint raised his bow with an arrow ready to pierce him. Loki's amusement quickly evaporated at his threat. He raised his hands, palms facing outward, as a sign.

"Put your weapon away. I mean you no harm," Loki said quickly.

"Barton, stand down," Steve ordered. Clint narrowed his eyes at Loki for a second before reluctantly lowering his bow.

"Why are you here, reindeer games?" Tony asked.

"I have been sent here, by Thor –" Loki started, before Bruce cut him off.

"What reason could Thor possibly have to send _you _here?" he asked pointedly.

Bruce's interruption annoyed Loki greatly. He was in no condition to be treated roughly. "If you will remove these chains" he held his arms up to show them "I will be able to properly explain. And in case you have failed to notice I'm _bleeding_ all over your floor," he added forcefully. "May I at _least _have one of those bandages you have sitting on your counter uselessly?" he asked angrily, nodding his head in the direction of the medical supplies sitting on the counter behind them.

The Avengers seemed somewhat shocked by his forcefulness as they exchanged glances. Steve asked Bruce to get the supplies and start treating his still-oozing wounds. Tony turned away to fetch a tool to remove the chains, while Natasha and a very reluctant Clint pulled Loki up and lead him to a tall stool at the counter with Bruce.

A few minutes later, Loki was seated, his hands and arms chain-free with his torso completely exposed (Bruce had asked him to remove his blood-soaked clothing so he could reach the wounds to treat them). The team surrounded him once again as Clint wielded his bow at the low-ready. Bruce began slowly dabbing cotton balls and disinfectant wipes at Loki's wounds to clear the blood.

"Alright, Rudolph. Speak," Tony commanded.

"When I returned to Asgard," Loki began, "I was sentenced to be chained to a cliff on the far eastern border. The idea was to avoid a public scene that my trial would have brought in light of the war with Jotunheim. And to use me as bait for the Chitauri in case they came to Asgard," he added bitterly.

The Avengers stood still as stone, listening intently to him.

"I was freed by an enchantress called Amora. She released me from my prison in exchange for one of the weapons in the All-Father's vault," he continued. "She was present when I received the scepter from the Tian Thanos."

"Thanos?" Steve asked.

"Thanos is a being that hails from a moon that you Midgardians call Titan," Loki winced as Bruce applied an alcohol-soaked cotton ball to an open stab wound on his side.

"Sorry, this may sting a bit," Bruce said. A shadow of a smile crossed his face behind Loki's back

"He is part of the reason I am here. That I _was _here before," Loki continued. "Long ago Odin defeated Thanos in a fight across the Nine Realms. Thanos claimed to have been given a task by Death herself to bring to the balance of life and death in the Nine Realms into her favor. To accomplish his task he sought out the Soul Gems – powerful objects that would make him the master of death in the universe." He paused for a second to catch his breath. The Avengers exchanged curious and confused glances.

"He did indeed find the gems and discovered the extent of their powers from the Infinity Well, a pool of unlimited knowledge. But before he could begin his task, Odin discovered his plot and destroyed him by using the power of the Soul Gems, but not before Thanos united the gems in a powerful physical medium called the Infinity Gauntlet."

Loki waved his hands in a circular motion and revealed a large gold armored glove. The Avengers gasped in awe at the object. It was much too big to be used by any human, and was at least twice the size of even the largest person's hand. Embedded in it were six oblong-shaped holes: one in the center of the back of the glove and one at the base of each of the five fingers.

"The Gauntlet itself has no powers but acts as the only medium to fully unite the powers of the Soul Gems – now called the Infinity Gems by most Realms – to make the wielder the omnipotent master of the universe," Loki said as he winced again, this time due to the needle Bruce was using to give him stitches in his side.

"So this Thanos – _thing_ _ – _wants the Gauntlet?" Steve asked.

"Yes," Loki replied.

"Didn't you just say that Odin destroyed him?" Natasha asked, her voice suspicious.

"I am getting to that," Loki looked at her as he replied. "Death resurrected Thanos so he could complete his task. His master plan is to destroy five of the Nine Realms as a sacrifice to Death, using the power of the Infinity Gems through use of the Infinity Gauntlet. I struck a bargain with him after I met him when I fell into the void to retrieve the Gauntlet for him in exchange for the rule of Midgard _and _his word that Asgard would be left untouched. I never wanted Asgard destroyed."

"Obviously that didn't work out for you did it?" Clint jeered. Steve silenced him with a poisonous look.

Loki shook his head. "No, it did not. By the time I made this bargain he had possession of all six Infinity Gems once more. Thanos gave me one of the gems – the Mind Gem – to aid me in my task to take Midgard, expecting that I would return it along with the Gauntlet once your realm fell. I was threatened with endless torture and a slow, painful death at the hands of the Chitauri if I failed."

At this, Tony and Natasha exchanged glances, their eyes reflecting a hint of pity and understanding.

"The Mind Gem is what powered the scepter. It allows the wielder to access a person's thoughts, their past, everything about them," his eyes flickered to Clint, "and anything they know about anyone else." His eyes rested on Natasha now. "It allows one to invoke mind control over a being, or many beings if the wielder wishes."

Tony asked him curiously, "You said there were six gems. What exactly do the others do?"

"The other gems are the Soul, which allows you to use an manipulate the souls of any being whether they are dead or alive; Time, which allows you to be in any time period, manipulate time as you see fit, and trap enemies in time loops; Space, which allows you to appear anywhere in an instant as well as control and manipulate space; Reality, which makes all physical laws meaningless and senses useless; and Power, to access all the energy in the universe and intensify the powers of the other gems when they are brought together."

"Jesus…" Clint whispered.

"So you were freed from the cliff to get this Gauntlet and instead you ran?" Steve asked, bringing the conversation back to Loki.

Loki shook his head again. "Not exactly," he replied. "Before I was captured by the Chitauri, who were unleashed upon Asgard _without_ my knowledge when I was freed, I used my magic to create a replica of the Gauntlet to give to Amora. The Gauntlet Thanos has in his possession now is a fake; I placed a spell on the decoy so that it would behave the same as the real Gauntlet until all six gems are in place. Only then will he discover that it is useless to him. As long as both the real Infinity Gauntlet and the Mind Gem stay out of his reach, he will not succeed in his task. Your Realm, at least, will be safe. It seems as if I am too late to keep Asgard from his clutches."

Loki lowered his head as shame and remorse flooded through him. Asgard's destruction was _his _fault, and he knew it.

"That is why I have escaped from the Chitauri: to bring the Gauntlet to the hands of beings who can protect it, on Thor's request. You defeated the God of Mischief and the whole of the Chitauri army with your powers, combined with my _brother's_. Asgard has proven that it is not impenetrable. It is too dangerous to be kept there any longer. The consequences of Thanos in possession of the Gauntlet would be the immeasurable destruction of the Nine Realms, including your own! If there is anyone in the Nine Realms with even a chance to protect it, for the sake of _all _of the Nine Realms, it is you."

Loki finished his tale, keeping his head bowed with the Gauntlet clasped between his hands in front of him.

Steve looked down at him, seemingly satisfied with his explanation, shock etched into the frown he wore. Bruce had stopped his treatment and just stared in awe at Loki as if he were some strange being that he had never seen before. Natasha and Tony shared twin looks of shock and pity, not bothering to hide their feelings. Even Clint had lowered his bow and let his arrow clatter to the floor.

….

**A/N There you have it! I hope this was as satisfying to read as it was for me to write! It's a relief to have finally reached this point in the plot. **

**As always, please review! I've worked quite hard on this chapter so please let me know what your thoughts are. I realize there are still a few loose ends (like who actually opened Loki's cell…) that will be tied up later :D But it just adds to the fun. **

**Remember – constructive criticism. No flames : )**


	7. Chapter 7 Varied Encounters

**A/N: SORRY THIS TOOK SO DAMN LONG. But here's a bit of Loki/Natasha interaction and a fluffy reunion for you to enjoy to make up for it. : ) **

**From The Ashes**

**By Anna Morgan**

**Chapter 7 Varied Encounters**

The Avengers stared down at Loki for a good thirty seconds as if his words had put them in a trance.

"Tony, Natasha, come with me outside please," Steve said as he brought them all out of their shocked stupor. "We'll be back in a minute." Tony and Natasha and followed their leader outside after lingering for just a few mores seconds, as if they couldn't tear their eyes from the broken god seated before them, leaving Clint and Bruce alone with Loki. Natasha threw a last pitiful glace at Loki, who was still staring at the ground and trembling, as they exited the door.

They walked outside onto the landing, the same one that they had fought their visitor on those many months ago. The cold air nipped at their bodies as they made their way into the shadows, out of the field of vision to their teammates still inside. They stopped and Steve turned to face them, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Well," Steve asked. "What are your thoughts?"

Natasha crossed her arms to hold in some warmth. "His story matches Thor's," she said flatly. She dismissed her emotions in her assessment. "I don't see any discrepancies in his explanation. He doesn't appear to be a threat."

"I agree. He may have gone a little crazy but he isn't dangerous to _us_. There may actually be a chance that Thor was right, that he's turned sides," Tony said, looking back toward where he knew Loki was sitting. He recognized that now wasn't the time for his usual sarcastic stance. "Whatever we do with him now, we shouldn't leave him alone. He's definitely showing some symptoms of post traumatic stress, he may be a danger to himself."

Natasha glanced at Tony as she spoke, "We're going to have to take this up with Fury eventually. He's ultimately going to make the decision of what to do with Loki, and the Gauntlet," Natasha said.

"I think we should continue to treat his injuries and keep him here for tonight," Tony argued. "If we give him over to Fury right this second to be put in a cage and 'debriefed' it may shock the hell out of him and send him flying off the handle,"

"Tony's right, Cap," Natasha said. "He's too fragile right now, we can't do anything that's going to put him under pressure or he'll snap. We don't need him reverting back to his old self with a powerful object that can destroy the universe."

Steve nodded, listening to them each attentively. "This is why I wanted your opinions first; I know you two can relate more closely to his state of mind right now."

"What are _your _thoughts?" Natasha asked.

"I'm thinking we keep him here in one of the R and D labs and establish a watch for tonight, and bring him to Fury in the morning. But I want to get Clint and Bruce's opinions before we decide on a course of action," Steve said authoritatively.

They exchanged glances in agreement. Steve started back across the landing toward the door with Natasha and Tony following his lead close behind. He grabbed the door handle and opened it, standing aside so that Natasha and Tony could enter first. Natasha welcomed the warmth again as the door closed out the cold behind her.

Bruce had begun treating Loki's wounds again, having regained some of his composure. Clint paced in front of them, his eyes watching Loki, who hadn't moved at all. Clint had picked up his arrow but held it in his hand opposite his bow. Steve stood at the door and motioned for Bruce and Clint to come. Neither Natasha nor Tony said a word to them as they relieved their teammates from where they stood.

Bruce set down the bottle of saline solution and shared a glance with Natasha as he brushed by her to follow Steve outside. Natasha approached Loki from the front cautiously and leaned down so that she was at eye level with him just a few inches away from his seated form.

"Loki," she got his attention softly. His eyes rose to meet hers. He was taken aback by how close her startling green eyes were and nearly gasped at her proximity. "Is it alright if I take over for Bruce?" she asked. He nodded and replied "Yes."

She took the bottle of saline solution in her hand and picked a cotton ball from a small pile on the counter. Loki watched her intently as she placed it onto the opening and turned the bottle upside down to release the fluid into the cotton. His eyes followed her hand as she began to clean a laceration on his right shoulder, patting it gently. Her touch was softer than Bruce's he noticed, but with all the skill the doctor had. For the first time since he had come to Midgard he allowed his muscles to relax completely.

His attention turned from the cleaning to study the creature whose hand was now lightly wiping excess blood away as she reached for gauze and tape. He had admitted to himself even as he was broken and defeated by the Avengers that she was beautiful but he had forgotten the extent until now. He almost didn't recognize her when he saw her for the first time; she had let her hair grow out and her dark red curls were now framing her face limply, coming to a stop just above her elbow. It made her look younger despite the fact that some time had passed since their battle. He could hardly believe that the small, deadly woman from that day was the same person who now gently laid the last piece of tape over the wound and smoothed it with her fingers brushing against his bare chest, making him shudder ever so slightly.

His focus was brought back by a blast of cold air coming from the door as Steve walked in with Bruce and Clint. "Natasha, Tony," he called for them as he motioned for them to join their team across the room. Loki felt a small shred of disappointment as she fluidly set the bandages down and turned on heel toward the captain. The Avengers huddled in close so that only they could hear their conversation.

"Okay, here's the game plan," Steve sounded like he was directing troops in battle as he spoke. "We're going to keep this to ourselves for tonight and bring Fury into this in the morning. We'll set up a watch for tonight," he glanced at each of his teammate's faces as he revealed his plan.

"Two hour shifts. Clint and I will take the first shift," Steve looked directly at Clint. "I know you probably don't want to be alone with him." Clint nodded appreciatively.

"Then Natasha, Bruce, Tony, and myself. Keep comms on at all times in case something goes wrong." He finished.

"Maybe we should all camp in one place tonight, too," Bruce suggested. "Just grab sleeping bags or whatever. As long as we're in the same room. We won't have to scramble everyone together in case something does happen."

"I like that Idea, let's do that," Steve nodded in agreement.

"Someone needs to contact Thor as well," Natasha added.

"He hasn't been responding when SHIELD tries to contact him lately," Clint said.

"Tell him we have his little brother. That should warrant a quick response don't you think?" Steve said.

"On it, Cap" Tony said.

With that, they broke their huddle and made their way as a group over to where Loki was still seated and watching their every movement. Steve approached him ahead of the others, his arms still crossed in front of him.

"Loki," he started. "Here's our decision: we want to keep you here for tonight, continue to take care of your injuries. We'll do whatever we can to ensure your safety as well as the Gauntlet's until we can speak to Director Fury in the morning about this situation. But for now, we're going to keep the situation contained to here without his involvement. We will need to treat you as a _potential_ threat until then, given your history." He added sensitively.

Loki's relaxed muscles tensed up and his heart began to race at the captain's last statement. He studied the captain's face, searching for some hint of malicious intent. His eyes had gone from intent listening to a frightened, almost wild look. "I have already made it clear that I am not a _potential threat,_" he replied with a trace of dread and fear in his voice. In his mind, he wondered _**what do you mean "treat" me? **_

Natasha could see the wheels turning in his head at Steve's remark. "You won't find cruelty at our hands" she said quickly but gently. "We aren't going to harm you, but we do need to ensure our own safety as well as yours."

His own logical thinking took hold of him once again and he forced himself to relax at her words. He understood their stance and his eyes glanced in Natasha's direction. He felt in his gut that he could trust her, if not the others, at least for the moment. Finally he turned back to Steve and slid slowly from off of his stool and stood, still trembling but with a calmer façade, towering over him.

"Then you lead the way, captain," he said lowly. He waved his hands to conceal the Gauntlet safely from sight once again.

Natasha and Bruce stepped forward and stood on either side of him, placing one hand each on his shoulder, as Steve lead the way to the elevator. They crowded into the small space and rode down in an almost awkward sort of ambiance. The reality of the night's events were starting to seep into everyone's mind as they escorted Loki around one of the research and development floors until Steve came to a stop in front of one of the testing lab doors.

The testing lab's wall and door were the same see-through glass that composed the front of the tower, so that anyone walking by could see everything going on in the room. A glass wall separated the room in half; on one side were a computer and one of Tony's transparent, two-way computer screens suspended from the ceiling, surrounded by a myriad of other testing equipment, books, and notebooks. On the other side of the glass wall was what appeared to be a hospital recovery lounge. The blue padded lounge's back was slightly inclined so that the occupant was in a semi-sitting-up position. Against one wall was a desk chair. A door on the opposite wall led to a small bathroom.

Tony punched some numbers into a keypad outside the room and the door slid open. They led Loki inside the half of the lab with the lounge. He headed straight to the chair and sank down roughly, running one hand through his messy hair as all of the team left the lab, save for Clint and Steve. He sighed. _**At least they have kept their word**_, he thought. _**What do I do now..?**_

His thoughts were interrupted by someone clearing their throat in front of him. He looked up stridently to see Bruce standing before him holding a bundle of clothes.

"Never thought I'd be the one on this end of the 'clothes-giving'," he said with a small smile.

Loki slowly reached out and took the bundle. "Thank you…" he said quietly.

"They're as close to our size as we could find in Tony's closet," Bruce continued.

"They will suffice," he replied, keeping his head down as he examined the black pants and hunter-green t-shirt.

"There's a bathroom you can change in over there," Bruce pointed toward the door, to which Loki nodded in reply.

….

The first shift passed by uneventfully. Loki emerged from the bathroom wearing the fresh change of clothes and occupied the chair once more. Clint and Steve watched, alternating between sitting at the computer monitor and pacing before the class wall. Mercifully, Natasha arrived just before midnight to relieve them. Clint filled her in on the activity from the last two hours (or, rather, lack thereof) before gratefully departing, Steve closely behind him. Finally left alone, she took the seat at the computer and stared into the glass at the occupant seated on the other side.

Fifteen minutes passed, just as uneventful as the first watch. Loki hadn't moved an inch. Natasha stood and crossed the lab to the glass wall, halting in front of Loki. He looked at her and nervously raised an eyebrow.

"Can you behave yourself for five minutes?" she asked. He didn't reply but simply looked at her. With that, she turned and left the lab, Loki curiously looking after her.

Five minutes later, she returned carrying two fluffy white pillows and a black comforter. She entered his side of the lab, set the pillows on the lounge, and spread the comforter out neatly. Satisfied with her work, she turned to Loki, who observed her silently.

"Come," she said. "You look like you could use some sleep."

Loki narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "What trick is this?" he asked.

Natasha shook her head. "No more tricks, no more lies," she said simply. He waited a moment before hesitantly crossing the room and sitting, not laying, on the lounge, not taking his eyes off of her as he did so. When nothing happened to him he allowed himself to relax a bit. Rather than leaving to sit on the other side of the glass wall, Natasha turned to occupy the chair against the wall that Loki had just vacated.

They sat contently in silence for a while. Loki clasped his hands in front of him, lost in his own thoughts once again. Natasha kept her distance, watching him with an unreadable expression of indifference.

Finally Loki broke the silence. "How long have I been gone," he asked, still staring at the ground.

"It's been a year and a half since your show here," she replied. He was silent. "You know, Thor came to us when you were taken," she continued. Loki looked up at her sharply. "That was almost eight months ago."

He remained silent, so she kept speaking. "He was distraught. He came to ask us to help find you, and we've been searching for you ever since."

Her words awoke an irrational anger in Loki that he had almost forgotten existed. He gave a cruel half-chuckle that reminded Natasha a little too much of his old self. She shuddered inwardly from the words that snaked from his mouth. "And what _marvelous_ seekers you turned out to be," he hissed. "I had been left to suffer while Thor prances about Midgard, feigning concern," he ranted. " _**After what I did for him…for Asgard…**_

Natasha waited patiently for him to finish before replying calmly, her face and voice unreadable as ever. "He cares about you," she said calmly. "You are fortunate to have someone, a family, to look for you. Some of us aren't so lucky."

He did not reply but stared contemptuously at her, his eyes like daggers. She stared back at him with equal intensely as a silent battle of wit and endurance erupted in the air hanging between them. He knew she was right, but he would not admit it, as much as he wanted to. Not to her at least. He wasn't ready to admit feelings aloud to anyone just yet. He channeled his frustration into his eyes and straight through her. A few moments passed. Natasha was the one to drop the gaze first; she stood and headed back toward the door leading back to the other side of the glass wall, to leave him alone. Before she could reach for the handle she heard him call her.

"Agent Romanoff." She turned to face him. He stared at her with a softer but no less intense gaze, which she returned. "Why are you being so kind to me?"

She searched his face for a moment. "You've been through a hell of a punishment," she replied, a hint of understanding in her otherwise indifferent voice. "You aren't acting like a threat to me, or my 'realm.' I have no reason to treat you hostilely."

They continued to hold the gaze until Loki said quietly, almost as if it were only meant to be a thought, "I never meant any harm to you, or Midgard."

She reconsidered leaving him there to sit on the other side of the glass again. Instead of leaving she turned to walk slowly back to take residence once again in the chair. She sat down and leaned forward, her elbows on her legs and hands clasped in front of her, mirroring Loki's position. She couldn't exactly place why, but she felt something in her gravitate toward him, to occupy the same space he did. So she stayed.

For the remainder of her shift they again sat in content silence, though the air was heavier between them at first. Slowly, the atmosphere became calmer as the time passed and Loki regained control of himself again. Once in a while they would catch themselves looking at each other. Loki, for his part, was fascinated by her. She was a delightful, walking contradiction; a killer and master manipulator of both words and emotions with a silver tongue to rival his own, yet she was more gentle and (dare he say) _forgiving _than any of her colleagues. She had angered him but her mere presence soothed him. He couldn't read or decipher her because her mind and actions were contradictive, chaotic, even by his own standards. At present, he wasn't sure what to think about it. But he was starting to like it.

At precisely two in the morning Bruce arrived to relieve Natasha. Loki was almost disappointed to watch her go and his eyes followed her as she made her way from his room to the other side of the wall. She passed Bruce and said something to him, though Loki couldn't hear what exactly it was. To his surprise, instead of just walking away from the lab she turned back, opened the glass door, and approached Loki, coming to a stop in front of him.

Natasha then reached out and placed a hand softly on his shoulder and said quietly to him: "Try to get some sleep. Goodnight, Loki."

He looked up at her and caught her eye. Standing up slowly, he reached for her hand on his shoulder and brought it to his lips for a swift kiss, keeping eye contact with her all the while. "Goodnight, Agent Romanoff."

He allowed her to remove her hand and without another word Natasha turned to exit the room again, passing a curious-looking Bruce, who gave Natasha a quizzical look as she left the lab. Loki sighed and sank back down onto the lounge, this time lifting the comforter and slipping beneath it. He closed his eyes and let sleep overtake him as Bruce took a seat at the computer on the other side of the wall.

….

"See, Point Break? Sleeping like a baby, safe and sound."

"I do not know how to thank you, my friends. For watching over him. For everything."

Loki heard voices approaching as he started to come around again. He groaned inwardly at being woken from his slumber; his aching body was gratefully immersed in a comforting and restful sleep for the first time in ages. But it wasn't the sound of the voices that woke him. He recognized the second voice as Thor.

He sat up slowly, his mind comprehending that his brother was close by. Looking around he spotted Thor speaking with Tony in the hallway outside of the lab. Neither of them had apparently noticed he was awake, a fact for which Loki was grateful. He had never been much of a morning person; Thor, however, was, much to Loki's annoyance.

Loki swung his legs over the side of the lounge and placed his head in his hands, forcing his protesting body to wake up. The clock on the wall read 8:30. He placed his head back down in his hands, rubbing his eyes.

"Loki?"

He looked up to see his brother standing in front of him, his arms out to his side, Mjolnir dangling in one hand. Loki stood up slowly. In the background, he could see Tony, Steve and Natasha on the other side of the wall. Loki took a step forward so that he was less than an arm's length away from Thor. Part of him wanted to hit him – _**he abandoned me to the Chitauri! **_– but the other part of him, the part that wanted to make peace with Thor on the cliff, that knew how Thor cared for him despite all he had done, that knew Thor had done everything he could to find him (even going to Loki's enemies), won and hushed the voice in his head. _**To Hel with pride…I want my brother back!**_

"Thor…my brother…" Loki trailed off almost tearfully.

With that, Thor grabbed Loki into a tight embrace that would have surely crushed a mortal to death, which Loki returned in kind. The two brothers stood there for a minute before breaking apart, almost reluctantly, placing a hand on each other's shoulders – a sign of companionship and friendship.

"I have longed to hear you call me that again," Thor said appreciatively with a wide smile

"Not as much as I have longed to say it," Loki grinned back. Over Thor's shoulder, he saw the smiling Avengers watching the reunion looking as if they may all cry – even Tony. Steve clapped his teammates on the shoulder to leave, allowing the two gods their privacy. Natasha was the last to turn away as she caught Loki's eye for just a second, flashing him a smug grin that clearly said 'I told you so.'

Loki looked back at Thor and retracted his hand. He sat back down on the lounge, Thor following beside him. He examined Loki, taking in his messy appearance – his disheveled hair, the scars on his palms, the clear injuries to his arms and face. Pity and sorrow laced his expression. Neither brother knew what to say then, so they were content with being in each other's company – as brothers, rather than enemies.

Suddenly a thought occurred to Loki. "Oh! Thor! Before I forget," he grinned with his mischievous, haughty grin that almost made him look like his old self again. He waved his hand and the Gauntlet appeared before him. Thor's eyes went wide with disbelief and his smile returned

"You have protected it! This is excellent news! I feared it had fallen into the hands of the Chitauri during your…" it was Thor's turn now to trail off.

"I? The _master _of magic, allow those filthy beings to snatch it from my clutches? You wound me," Loki said smugly. _**You have no idea what the cost of its protection was. But here it is…**_

"My clever brother," Thor said. "Mother and Father were pleased to hear of your safety."

"Odin?" Loki asked, almost confused.

"Yes. The warriors have returned from Jotunheim. The war was quick, as Father predicted. Without the casket, they stood little chance of victory," Thor informed him. Loki was glad to hear this; at least the additional blood on his hands had been kept to a minimum.

"And what is the state of Asgard now?" Loki asked – his smile gone.

"We have done much to rebuild, with Tony's help," Thor nodded in acknowledgement toward the door Tony and the others had left through. "There is still much to be done. But with more men back from war we will restore Asgard to its glory in no time," Thor finished confidently.

"There is something you should know, however," Thor's tone suddenly turned serious. "The Chitauri know you are gone," Loki wasn't surprised to hear that.

"They have been to Asgard again, looking for you," Thor informed him gravely. Loki _was _surprised hear that.

"What?" Loki breathed.

"They did not do any damage," Thor added quickly. "We were prepared this time – we fought them back easily with more warriors present. We did not know why they were there, but now I realize it must have been for you."

Loki was shocked to hear this. _**They think I would return to Asgard? What makes them think I would not come here? Dear Valhalla don't let them come here…**_

Thor must have recognized Loki's concern. He placed a hand on his brother's shoulder once again and said to him, solemnly, "Whatever happens from here on, I will make certain they do not harm you again. They will pay for what they have done to you, to Asgard. I swear it.

Loki looked down at the ground "I deserved what was done to me," Loki said quietly, almost a whisper.

"No, Loki," Thor shook his head, but Loki cut him off.

"Yes. I was a fool. To ally myself with them. To get myself mixed up with their plans. I placed Asgard, our family, and all the Nine Realms in danger. I am knee-deep in blood drawn from three of the Realms. Yes, Thor. I got my comeuppance."

Thor stared at Loki, unsure of what comforting words he could possibly offer. Loki looked at Thor, almost pleadingly.

"I am sorry. For what I have done. To you and to Asgard. To _Midgard. _All of it. I know apologizing will not fix what I have done, and I do not seek forgiveness, but it is all I can do," Loki looked down with an almost innocent appearance, like a child being made to apologize to his parents.

"You are right," Thor said thoughtfully after a moment. "Apologizing will not fix this situation. But it is a step in the right direction. But someday you will be forgiven. And someday you will forgive yourself."

Loki opened his mouth to protest this statement but he was interrupted by a knock on the door. There stood the Avengers – all of them – Steve knocking on the door. Thor and Loki exchanged a glance that said 'we'll talk later' and stood in unison. Thor opened the door and the two filed out.

"Sorry to interrupt you fellas," Steve said sincerely. "Director Fury has been informed of the situation and had requested that we escort Loki to SHIELD Headquarters."

….

**A/N: I want to take a second to answer a very good question left as a review. To the reviewer who asked if Loki was going to be more physically and emotionally affected by his torture later now that his mission to bring the Gauntlet to the Avengers is over – the answer is absolutely! Torture in its very definition is meant to leave lasting scars, and he will continue to struggle with what happened to him as he also seeks to save himself from the darkness. The details of how he will struggle will remain a secret until it is shown in the story however (mwahahahahaha). **

**As always, reviews are appreciated and very motivating! Thanks to all who have left a review so far! Again, as always, tell me what you think. I love to get feedback. Just no flames please. ss**


	8. Chapter 8 A Second Chance

**A/N: Another chapter for you! It would have been here sooner, but this flu has been killing me…hope you enjoy! **

**From The Ashes**

**By Anna Morgan**

**Chapter 8 A Second Chance**

The ride to SHIELD Headquarters was much shorter than Loki had expected. Or maybe it was because he was just so nervous. His insides squirmed as if he had just swallowed a bucketful of snakes. His fate, the fate of the precious cargo he carried, would be decided here. His heart pounded hard and fast. What if they chose not to protect it? Where could they possibly hide the wretched thing? Or worse, what if they handed him back to the Chitauri? _**Do not be ridiculous. Thor promised that wouldn't happen. He could easily take you back to Asgard**_ he scolded himself. _**Though you wouldn't exactly be safe there either…**_

It was with much anticipation that Loki, now clad in his normal Asgardian attire that he morphed into before leaving the Avengers tower, allowed his brother and his former (_**former?**_ He wasn't quite sure about that yet…) foes to lead him through the halls of SHIELD. After many twists, turns, and glares ranging in various degrees of curiosity to fear they came upon what Loki assumed was the control room.

In the center of the upper floor of the split-level room stood director Fury himself, surrounded by agents clad in matching black and blue uniforms working in cubicles on the lower floor. His hands were behind his back, patiently waiting for them, as the Avengers plus Loki walked into the room.

"I never would have believed it myself if I didn't see it," the director called to them the second they walked through the doors.

"Well, your letters must have gotten lost, Director, I was beginning to think you didn't miss me," Loki said mockingly with false sadness in his voice.

"Yep, he's back…" Clint mumbled under his breath.

It was then that Fury directed their attention to the screens in front of him where, to Loki's surprise, he heard his own voice from last night, replaying his explanation for his sudden reappearance. All of the Avengers' attention was now on the screen, which was playing the first few seconds of Loki's story, as they crowded around the director.

"I take it this was your doing," Steve mumbled to Tony in approval.

"Technically it was JARVIS, but I may have had a hand in it, yeah," Tony replied.

They watched intently as the scene was replayed before their eyes. _**These mortals and their gadgets…I have to hand it to them, **_Loki thought, impressed.

When it was over, Fury turned to Thor. "Can you back up any of this, Thor?" Fury asked, his tone serious.

"Yes," Thor said. "All that Loki has spoken is the truth."

"Then I have to tell you that I'm weary of taking responsibility for protecting this thing," Fury informed them. "Keeping the Gauntlet here poses a threat to our world. To take it would be practically begging for a fight to be brought to us here, and would endanger every living thing on Earth."

"The Avengers are the only beings in the Nine Realms that I would trust to handle such a responsibility," Thor argued. "They are a most formidable force to be reckoned with and are more than capable of providing the protection that any other race could not."

"Why can't it just be taken back to Asgard?" Fury asked.

"Asgard is not impenetrable, Director," Loki piped up. Everyone looked mildly surprised at him.

"And Earth is?" Fury reciprocated back.

"Even with Tony's improvements on the security of our weapons vault I would not trust anyone but my friends," Thor motioned to the rest of the Avengers, "to keep watch over it. The Chitauri have already returned once again seeking my brother, and our warriors were barely able to keep them at bay," Thor finished.

"I'm sure Mr. Stark would be willing to provide additional safety measures to what he has already done," Fury said simply.

"Consider this, Director," Loki stepped forward so he was closest to Fury. Natasha put her hand on her gun in the holster of her pants as Loki stopped a foot away from him. She held the grip of her weapon, ready to draw as he spoke. "Thanos will search the Nine Realms for his remaining Gem and _when _he fails todiscover it in any other realm, he will come to yours," Loki argued with a hint of desperation in his voice. "He _will _discover the Gem here and ultimately that the Gauntlet in his hands is a decoy. He intends to destroy Midgard with or without the Gauntlet. The fight is already at your doorstep, Director! Sending the Gauntlet elsewhere will only temporarily delay the battle, and cost countless lives of every race across the Nine Realms." He glared at Fury as he finished.

"Since when do _you_ suddenly care about other race's lives?" Fury jabbed.

"My sentiments are not the concern here, what _is _the concern is the continued existence of _our_ universe," Loki replied quickly.

"Forgive me for not willingly taking your word on this right away, you aren't _exactly _our ally."

"And I am not your enemy!" Loki was practically yelling now, and nearly every head in the room was turned to the verbal tennis match between Loki and Fury. "Your enemy out _there_!" Loki pointed through the window, "And he will stop at nothing to destroy you!"

Fury and Loki's showdown continued through poisonous looks alone now as the room silenced. The tension in the room heightened as everyone watched them nervously. Natasha had her hand on her gun, Clint his bow, and they both held their breath. They could see the wheels turning in Fury's head as he considered Loki's words and they exchanged an anxious glance.

"If you refuse this task, and throw it to a less capable force, you will sentence Nine Realms to immeasurable and irreversible destruction," Loki added quietly.

Fury continued to glare at Loki, weighing his options. Finally the Director turned to Steve and spoke quietly. "Captain, have you discussed this with the team?" Fury asked.

"We have discussed it, Sir."

"What are your opinions?"

"We are willing to take on this mission, Sir, if our involvement is necessary." Steve replied.

"I'm afraid it seems like it is. Fine, we'll take it," Fury sighed in defeat. "Stark, Banner, I want you to take this thing and evaluate it. I want all of its physical properties documented and recorded, specifically any levels of radiation it may be emitting and fit it with a tracking device. We'll discuss its actual whereabouts in a more private setting." Fury turned his eye back to the other agents in the room who hastily resumed their work at his threatening eye.

"Sir, we've also discussed what we believe would be the best course of action concerning Loki," Steve added as the bustling continued around them as if nothing had happened.

Loki turned around briskly to face the captain as Thor put a protective hand on his brother's shoulder.

"We feel that it would be a tactical and strategic advantage to keep Loki here as well," Steve explained. Loki looked at him in disbelief. "He knows the inner workings and tactics of the enemy as well as their capabilities, weaknesses and the structural layout of their ships. He could hold the key to defeating them when they come. _If _he's willing to cooperate," Steve looked at Loki questioningly.

"I shall be as an _open book_," Loki said cleverly. _**Whatever keeps me away from the Chitauri…**_

Fury narrowed his eye at Steve. Was he really serious? "As long as you're all willing to play babysitter and you keep him under control, I'll approve," Fury said hesitantly.

"Thank you S-"

"But with certain conditions," Fury interjected.

The team exchanged glances. "What conditions?" Tony asked.

"First, he does NOT leave the tower," Fury said. "For ANY reason without my _explicit_ permission. I want periodic updates on his behavior and I don't want him left alone."

Loki could understand this condition. It wasn't as though he had any real desire to be anywhere outside of it anyway…

"Fair enough," Steve said.

"Second, if he's here I reserve the right to put his abilities to good use," Fury added. Loki was taken aback by this request and sent a reproachful look to Fury.

"The hell does that mean? _Sir?" _Clint added as he narrowed his eyes at Fury.

"If there are missions that could benefit from having someone with magic, or a face they won't recognize I want Loki to tag along and help out," Fury looked at Loki as he spoke, then turned his gaze to Clint and Natasha definitely.

Natasha bit her lip. She wasn't sure she wanted to agree to this. Sure, Loki was behaving himself, but did she really want to be put in a situation where her life, or Clint's, would rely on his actions? She looked over at Clint, who returned her look, his eyes conveying that his thoughts were along the same lines. She raised an eyebrow to send a look that asked _**Are you okay with this? **_Clint blinked a couple of times, his mouth tightened to a thin line as he thought. Finally, he broke the silent communication with his partner and looked back to Fury.

"Fine," Clint said through gritted teeth.

Loki took another few seconds to consider. So this was his choice: to become Fury's temporary hand puppet and house pet or return to Asgard to face Odin and Asgardian punishment, with the risk of the Chitauri coming back for him. His choice was obvious, but he certainly wasn't thrilled.

"As you wish. _Director._" Loki said in a tone to match Clint's.

"Then I'll approve. But the first time he so much as causes a traffic jam, it's back to Asgard he goes," Fury added.

"We understand the responsibility, Sir. Thank you," Steve replied.

Fury sighed. "Don't make me regret my decision, Captain." He turned back to his screen shaking his head. "Jesus it's not even 10:00 and I already need an aspirin…"

….

As nervous as Loki had felt about the ride to SHIELD headquarters, that was how much better he felt as he sank into the back seat of the car. They were going to protect it…he had not gone through all that time of pain and misery for nothing. He felt lighter now, as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

And, he wouldn't have to face Odin on Asgard. Not yet, anyway.

Clint and Steve climbed into the front seat (the former on the driver's side – Steve still didn't feel comfortable driving in the busy Manhattan traffic), leaving Loki to sit between Thor, Natasha, Bruce and Tony. The entire ride home, the car was silent. The occupants were so immersed in each of their own thoughts on their situation that none of them could hardly believe it when they found themselves pulling up to the Avengers tower once again. Thor took the lead this time, guiding their troupe to the elevator and up to the common room floor. Loki was sorely tempted to just teleport back up; oh he could just picture the looks on their faces if he suddenly –_pop! – _disappeared! He grinned inwardly at the thought but resisted the urge to cause any mischief at the moment. He was not exactly in a position that allowed him to annoy and scare his hosts. Instead he stared at the ground until the elevator _ding_ told them they had arrived at their destination.

Once outside of the wretched elevator (he had decided that he didn't like the elevator; teleporting was much more convenient and much less awkward), Loki stood back as his escorts casually filed past him to observe the common room floor. In the confusion and desperation of the moment the night before, he had not really had a chance to observe his surroundings properly.

It was a very large room with a tall ceiling – perhaps twenty feet. Loki recognized the sunken area in the center that housed a curved white sofa flanked by matching white chairs and glass coffee table as the place where the Hulk had once pummeled him into the ground (he swore he could still see a slight crack on the floor in front of the table). The panoramic widows revealed the busy Manhattan life going on below them and the cloudless, blue sun-lit sky – he admitted that it was an interesting, if not beautiful, sight. To his right he recognized the giant bar counter where he had been sitting the night before, fully stocked with all manner of Midgardian liquor. There was a kitchen area beside him and a table that could easily fit all of the Avengers, and perhaps some guests, off in the far corner.

By far, the most curious thing in the room was a small metal loft just to the left of the seating area. It was nothing more than a platform centered on four tall white metal poles about ten feet from the ground. On it was a seating pillow large enough for two people to sit comfortably, alongside a round black-suede folding chair. Loki cocked his head to the side a bit as he looked at it. Clint, noticing Loki's curiosity (_**never misses a thing, does he?**_) took the opportunity approach the platform, give a mighty leap, grab the edge, and hoist himself up. As contently as a cat curling into a basket, Clint sat cross-legged on the pillow, pulling out a quiver of arrows from behind him where he proceeded to sharpen and clean them, all while glaring intently at Loki.

"That's the 'Hawk's Nest'" came Natasha's voice from beside him. He turned his head from the platform to look down at her. "Tony added it as a joke. We didn't think he would actually take to it. I would stay off that if I were you." She gave a small, advising smile and walked past him. He watched her as she sat down on the sofa and grabbed a battered-looking book from the coffee table and began to read.

It was with an immensely relieving feeling that Loki conjured the Gauntlet and handed it over to Tony and Bruce. Finally, his mission was complete. Bearing responsibility for the Gauntlet throughout his ordeal had put a pressure on him as though Mjolnir was placed upon him, and now, as he placed it into Bruce's outstretched hand, he felt that pressure lifted and he breathed easier.

"Shall we play, Doctor?" Tony asked brightly.

"Thought you'd never ask," Bruce replied brightly, with an undertone of sarcasm to match Tony's own.

Together, the two scientists made their way to the elevator sprightly, almost looking forward to the task ahead. Loki watched amusedly. He suspected it would be quite some time before they would return; the two brilliant scientists' attention to detail was staggering. They would know all of the secrets that their scientific methods could convince the Gauntlet to reveal before the day was out.

….

Much to Loki's annoyance, the Avengers seemed to have taken their word to Director Fury that they were up to babysitting duty very seriously. He was not left alone for even a single moment for the remainder of the day. Natasha and Clint eventually made their way back to SHIELD headquarters (they did work, after all) so Loki was left alone with Steve and Thor all the day. His only moments of relative peace came when Thor offered to give him a tour of the tower, to which Loki accepted gladly.

Each of the Avengers had their own floor in the tower – the top six floors. Thor's was at the very top of the tower and was adorned with renaissance-style furnishings themed with red and gold. Loki was to take residence in the second bedroom of Thor's tower. Below him was Hawkeye, then Steve, Tony, Natasha, and Bruce at the base. A storage floor separated the team members' floors from the common room floor. Loki was only half-listening to his brother going on about each of the interesting points in the tower – but being around his brother in a non-hostile way was something he admitted he missed.

By the time they arrived back on the common room floor, night had long since descended on Manhattan. The floor was deserted, thankfully. Loki didn't feel like being in anyone's company. He excused himself from Thor's presence and made his way outside to the balcony overlooking the city.

He stood at the edge of the balcony and stared down at the bright city lights and cars streaming below him, contemplating the series of events that had lead him to this moment, replaying them like a film reel in his mind. His defeat, return to Asgard, being chained to the cliff, his deal with Amora (he scowled at himself at the very thought), his to save the Gauntlet from Thanos, and (he struggled to keep his stomach calm) his imprisonment and escape from the Chitauri. It had certainly been a journey. His mission was over – he had delivered the Gauntlet to the Avengers. It was safe. _He _was safe. So why did he feel like he had not yet reached his destination?

"You aren't going to jump, are you?"

Loki turned to see Tony himself, a drink in his hand, striding slowly toward him. He frowned. "Why would I jump?"

"I dunno, maybe the way you were staring longingly at the ground?"

Loki let out a slight chuckle. "No, I was just…thinking."

"What's on your mind, rock of ages?" Tony asked, taking a sip from the glass in his hand.

Loki turned back toward to the city. "Probably nothing you would care to hear about."

"Try me."

Loki sighed. "It's complicated."

Tony walked forward so that he was standing shoulder to shoulder with him, overlooking the city. "You know, I wasn't always a team player. I like to do things on my own. I didn't need anyone, just myself, my ingenuity, genius, and my own personal agenda." Loki turned to face him, wondering what he was getting at. "But these guys," Tony continued, motioning back toward the tower, "helped me realize that 'we' can be better than 'me.' Try me."

Loki considered his words carefully. He wasn't sure why Tony was being nice to him, but he couldn't see any ulterior motives behind his actions. "I am not sure where to even begin."

"Well, as a genius, I find that sometimes it helps to start from the 'here and now' and work backward," Tony said, taking another sip.

"I thought my mission was complete. The Gauntlet is safe from the hands of the Chitauri and Thanos," Loki began. "Where do I go from here?"

It felt good to say those words, better than he thought it would. Loki couldn't believe he was opening up to this man, when he had barely been able speak to his own brother that day.

"That's a good question," Tony replied. "Let me tell you a story – "

"Oh good I love story time," Loki's voice was infused with sarcasm, which Tony seemed to appreciate.

"Once upon a time I was taken captive in a warzone in Afghanistan," Tony began. "My father's best friend hired a bunch of terrorists to kill me, but they failed. They took me back to their cave and another prisoner of war named Yinsen tried to save me by getting the shrapnel out of my chest. But I made the weapons used against me; the shrapnel was going to move until it pierced my heart and killed me. So, to save my life, Yinsen gave me this little circle of light," Tony flicked the mini arc reactor glowing in his chest. "This stops the shrapnel from killing me. Yinsen told me all about how the weapons I was producing was killing thousands, hundreds of thousands, of innocent people, including the people I was supposed to be protecting. Including Yinsen's whole family."

Tony stopped for a second. Loki looked at him in surprise. Tony continued, "He saved my life. I was a hand in the murder of innocent people for years without a single shred of regret or a second thought before then. I didn't deserve a second chance. But he gave it to me. He told me 'You have a gift. Don't waste your life.' Just before he died."

"I suppose this is the part where you tell me that I can have a 'second chance' and reform just as you did?" Loki asked, the sarcasm returning to his voice.

"Yep." Tony replied.

Loki let his words sink in while they sat in silence. He was surprised at the parallels in his story to his own. "I also don't suppose your comrades are too enthusiastic about my 'second chance'?"

"Well I won't lie to ya, Legolas was reluctant to say the least," Tony replied. "So was Cap. But they were persuaded to see your current situation through your eyes and they agreed to let you stay."

"That was kind of them," Loki replied somewhat darkly.

"Which brings me to my next bit of advice," Tony continued, "Next time you see Agent Romanoff, you might want to thank her. She was the one who did most of the persuading." Loki looked at him, genuinely surprised. "I don't think I've ever seen her that close to hitting Barton."

Loki didn't know how to react to that. He was perfectly aware of the close bond that existed between the two agents. He was grateful and surprised that she would advocate on his behalf to the point of turning against her precious archer.

"Well, it's awfully cold out here and I'm out of whiskey, so I'm going in," Tony broke the silence between them. "Feel free to join, I might even get you that drink."

Loki grinned. "I may just take you up on that."

"As long as you promise not to jump and make my ass fly after you," Tony added.

"You have my word," Loki replied, still grinning as they made their way back inside to the warmth of the common room floor.

Inside, Tony led them to the bar, swiftly taking an extra glass and a bottle of Jack Daniel's from beneath the counter as Loki took a seat on the same stool he had occupied the night before. On the sofa sat Natasha and Bruce, peacefully reading in the warm glow of the lights overhead. Tony's advice floated into Loki's mind as he spotted her, looking tranquil and content with her battered-looking book. Their entrance had caught her attention and she glanced up, catching Loki's eye. He felt a sudden, unwelcome rush in his cheeks that had nothing to do with the warmth of the room and suppressed the flush that he feared would come. He broke their glance, though he sensed she was still watching them, and shifted his eyes to follow Tony, who finished pouring the whisky.

Tony set the extra glass down alongside the still open bottle of whiskey. Loki reached for the glass, but at the last second an idea occurred to him and he swiped the nearly-full bottle of whisky, leaving the freshly-poured glass abandoned on the counter.

"Thank you," Loki said politely, wearing a mischievous grin as he took a swig from the bottle.

Tony looked mildly offended but amused, his mouth open like a gaping black hole. "Sneaky," he said, though he was admittedly amused. On the sofa, Natasha laughed softly and Loki smiled, pleased with himself for earning such a positive reaction to something so small. He would have to remember to heed Tony's advice when he got a moment alone with her.

….

**A/N: Another chapter down. Thanks to everyone who has given me feedback so far. Please review, it's really motivating to hear what you think. But as always, no flames please. **


	9. Chapter 9 A New Ally

**From The Ashes**

**By Anna Morgan**

**Chapter 9 A New Ally**

For the first time in a long time, Loki slept peacefully. He came to realize just how physically exhausted he was once he had finished his drink with Tony and retired to the spare bedroom on Thor's floor of the tower. Without bothering to undress, he had laid down on the edge of the soft bed and simply passed out. It was the kind of sleep where even the most terrible nightmare could slip past the barrier into his mind and disturb him and for the first time since – well, at least before his fall into the void – he allowed his body to slip into peaceful, unworried, dreamless sleep.

The next time he regained consciousness the room was dark, save for the sliver of pink and gold light bathing the floor through the curtains indicating the sun was about to rise for the day. He felt wonderfully rested, though still groggy (perhaps that was the repercussions of nearly a full bottle of Midgardian whiskey). Rising reluctantly from the comfortable bed, he made his way into the bathroom for a cold shower, redressed in his Asgardian attire, and teleported down to the common room floor.

The scene was a typical-looking morning in the Avengers tower. Steve was wide awake, cooking himself and Thor a breakfast that could feed a small army (which, arguably, they were) – mountains of scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, and, for Thor, a box of cherry-flavored pop tarts. Thor sat at the head of the rectangular table across from Tony, who was reading the morning paper with a steaming cup of coffee in hand, which he nearly dropped onto the floor as Loki suddenly appeared from thin air.

"Goddamn! You need to warn us before you just pop in here like that! Or use the stairs like normal people –" Tony exclaimed.

"Brother! You are finally awake!" Thor greeted him brightly to cut Tony off. "You _must _have some of the captain's eggs!"

Loki groaned at Thor's brightness. "How long have I slept?" he inquired groggily, making his way toward the kitchen.

"Three days, sleeping beauty, we thought we were going to have to send prince charming over here to kiss you," Tony said without missing a beat.

Loki just looked at him confused, and a little annoyed (not getting the reference of course). He waved his hand and in an instant Tony's coffee turned to a solid block of mocha-flavored ice.

Tony looked down at his cup, frowning. "Okay, I get it. You're not a morning person," he said brightly. "Neither is her imperial highness. She should be down here by now…" Tony added.

Again, Loki looked at him confused as he grabbed an apple from a fruit basket on the counter and swiped some of Thor's scrambled eggs onto his own small plate before sitting next to his brother. Tony turned his cup upside down, hoping to entice the block of coffee-ice to fall. But it didn't budge.

"Who is 'her imperial highness'?" Loki asked, biting into the apple.

"Of course you wouldn't have heard," Tony explained. "Our own Black Widow apparently is the granddaughter of a Russian princess."

"Tony likes to snoop into SHIELD files," Steve said, shooting Tony a disapproving look. "He went hacking into hers the other day. And now he won't let it go."

"Natasha is a daughter of kings, you say?" Thor asked, pleasantly surprised.

"Granddaughter," Tony corrected him.

As if on cue, the door from the stairwell leading to the upper floors opened and Natasha strode in, clasping an earring and already dressed in a crisp white button-down shirt and pencil skirt with black heels. Thor and Loki stood immediately and turned to look at her. She stopped dead in her tracks. "What?" she asked. "Why are you standing and staring at me like that?"

Loki and Thor exchanged looks, both confused now. Steve and Tony remained seated. "Is it not customary to rise from your seat when a lady enters a room?" Thor asked.

"Not here it's not," Tony said, before looking over his paper to grin Natasha. "Good morning, your highness."

Natasha rolled her eyes and continued toward the kitchen. She backhanded Tony on the back of the head ("Ow!") as she strode gracefully by. Loki grinned.

"See, not a morning person," Tony grumbled toward Loki.

Natasha grabbed an apple and a cup of coffee and placed them down at the seat next to Thor, opposite of Loki. Thor moved to help her with her chair, but Loki beat him to it, gracefully rounding his brother and pulling the chair back just enough for her to sit.

"You know, I appreciate the gesture, but that's really not necessary," she said taking the seat.

"It is polite," Loki shrugged.

"Well, please don't from now on, ok?" Natasha asked.

Loki saw the opportunity. "If you wish. _Your imperial highness." _He grinned wickedly.

Natasha didn't reply but rolled her eyes as he made his way back to his seat and sat back down, Thor following suit.

Loki turned now to address Steve, who sat beside Natasha. "Captain, I remember agreeing upon a talk concerning our enemy. I intend to make good on this agreement," his tone more serious as his grin faded away.

Steve replied, "I was hoping to ask you about that when you woke up. You feel up to starting this today?"

"Yes," Loki said.

They finished breakfast in relative silence. Loki wondered if all mornings here would be this entertaining. He was starting to become more comfortable around these people – their lack of open hostility (save for Clint, unsurprisingly) and ulterior motives behind their kindness had relaxed him somewhat, though he could not bring himself to let his guard down. Not after all he had been though. As he looked around the table, he was far from actually trusting any of them further than he could throw them.

Everyone went their separate ways for the day until only Steve and Loki remained on the common room floor. Loki sat slumped in the white chair as Steve made his way to the sofa. Steve asked the omnipresent eye that they called JARVIS to record their conversation for future reference if needed as Steve grabbed a large sketch tablet and flipped it open, preferring the old-fashioned way of taking notes to Tony's technology.

"Okay, Loki go ahead," Steve said, pencil in hand.

For being the God of Lies and Mischief, Loki was surprisingly true to his word. He told Steve every intimate detail that he knew of the capability of the Chitauri Soldiers, The Other, and their ships.

"The Chitauri are primarily foot soldiers with limited thinking capability," Loki explained. "Most know only how to service weapons and follow orders. Their leaders, _officers _if you will, make up only a smaller fraction and all of them take their commands from the being called The Other, who in turn answers to Thanos."

Steve listened intently as Loki continued to explain for hours of the Chitauri chain of command structure, their weapons, their training tactics, and ships as Steve scribbled furiously on his notepad.

"This," Loki conjured a holographic projection of a triangular-shaped alien craft, "Is called _The Sanctuary II. _It is Thanos' flagship." He explained the armament and weapons of the ship as he peeled away the layers to show the inner structure to the minutest detail.

"Wow that's….cool," Steve was amazed with Loki's hologram that was now spinning slowly of its own accord. The layers were highlighted with green light on their own as Loki explained their function and use.

"It is a simple trick," Loki said as though conjuring a perfect replica of an alien craft from memory and displaying it in midair was something completely normal.

Finally, Loki arrived to the topic of Thanos.

"Thanos is called 'The Mad Titan' by the Nine Realms, and he earns his title," Loki started. "He fancies himself a ruler and seeks power for himself. He has an unnatural obsession with Death."

"You talk about 'Death' like it's a person," Steve said thoughtfully.

"She is a humanoid figure – the physical manifestation of Death itself," Loki confirmed. "Thanos exhibits an obsessive love for her, and submits himself and his brutality to be used as a means to an end in her schemes."

It was difficult for Loki to mask his fear as he continued to tell Steve all about Thanos. As he spoke of Thanos' superhuman strength and agility, his intimidating and overbearing physical form that made Thor look like a toddler, he could feel his fear bubbling within himself.

Steve seemed to have noticed Loki's distress. After a while, he held up his hand to stop Loki talking. "I think we've got enough for today," Loki looked relieved. "We can continue this tomorrow."

"Thank you," Loki breathed thankfully.

….

By the time their discussion had ended it was the afternoon and Loki felt drained. Telling all that he could about the Chitauri and Thanos brought back memories of the Void that he wanted nothing more than to suppress, to shove into the back of his mind, forgotten like an old book to collect dust.

He rose from his chair and made his way to the doors leading to the balcony. Somehow, being outdoors, looking down on the busy city and gazing out into the sky did wonders to calm his mind.

Perhaps it was because of how it reminded him of his time in the cave; how he had done so much soul-searching as he looked out across the outstretched Asgardian sky and down to the lapping water on the rocks.

He stepped outside, the cold breeze sweeping his coattail slightly as he made his way to the railing. Leaning his forearms against the metal of the railings, cold as ice in the late autumn afternoon even through his clothing, he looked out into the city skyline and sighed, willing his mind to clear was done with itself.

Like any master of chess, Loki's thoughts contemplated his next move once Thanos came to Midguard. He had decided in his cell that he would not ally himself with Thanos, nor the Chitauri, ever again. That much was clear to him. But he could not continue to occupy the Avangers Tower forever; he knew that.

Loki admired the beautiful colors and sights that the setting sun bestowed on the scene before him. The puppet master behind all chaos and mischief in the universe – that was what he _was. _It was a part of him that, sadistic as it could be, defined him, and he enjoyed it. He could not just let it go, like Thor had let go of his arrogance and war-happy tendencies. By instinct he itched to do something – _anything – _that would throw a wrench into the workings of the Nine Realms, not as part of any mission or plan, but just to see how the creatures would react.

He supposed part of that instinct was based on his own inner turmoil that had defined his life leading up to the revelation of his true parentage.

But he could not do anything now. He still owed the Captain more of his knowledge of Thanos and, much to his disdain, he was to be sent out to aid SHIELD in its missions in the meantime while they waited for Thanos to make his move. He really had no choice but to stay here until Thanos came. And that could be days, or weeks, or months from now.

_**Ah, but you only agreed to give them information though, **_the voice in the back of his mind reminded him. _**No one said you had to stay and fight. **_

This was perfectly true. But another side of him scolded the voice: _**These people were your enemies, yet they provided you asylum and care in your hour of need. You owe your skill in battle to them at the very least and you know it…**_

Loki felt as an outsider to his own mind as these two sides of him bickered back and forth. The sun sank down below the Manhattan skyline as the battle raged within him, and he still had not made up his mind what he would do by the time he decided that it was time to go back inside. Perhaps he would retire back to Thor's floor and sleep on it…

He turned his back on the bright and busy nightlife of Midtown Manhattan and made his way back to the tower. As he approached the glass, he thought at first that the floor was vacant but a quick scan revealed the small red-headed woman sitting at the bar. Tony's advice formed in his mind: _**next time you see Agent Romanoff, you might want to thank her. **_While he was stuck here, he may as well gain allies.

….

Inside, Natasha returned home from SHIELD headquarters to find the common room floor empty: not unusual being a Friday evening. At about this time Tony would be tinkering around in the lab with Pepper and Bruce or else taking them out to get a drink or five somewhere(if he managed to drag Bruce from the lab anyway), sometimes even dragging a reluctant Steve along to play supernanny. Natasha smiled lightly at the thought of Pepper; that woman had more patience than she was given credit for, that's for sure. She wasn't sure how Pepper could manage Tony and his shenanigans, though since they got married he seemed to have calmed down a bit thankfully. Still, he was rambunctious and it took a special kind of woman to handle someone like him.

Personally, Natasha would have just shot him by now.

Natasha pulled her laptop from her shoulder bag as well as an old, battered copy of _Macbeth_ and set them down on the bar. While the laptop started up she poured a bit of red wine into a glass and set it on the counter before a stool. Fury, of course, was going to ruin her Friday evening as punishment for her support in the Loki decision by making her write up reports that she was sure would take half the night.

Loki. Natasha's smile faded as the fallen god entered her thoughts. Despite all he had done – his attempted enslavement of the human race, brainwashing one of the two real friends she had ever really had (before the Avengers of course) and murdering the other in cold blood, and throwing her past sins in her face in an attempt to break her – she couldn't bring herself to hate him. She saw too much of herself in him, in his state of mind right now. Hating him would almost mean hating herself. And she had long passed that phase….

She began to type up the reports, her fingers gliding across the keyboard –_clack_, _clack, clack, clack_ – fast as lightning, though her mind was only half focused on her reports. She had decided almost the moment he had declared himself non-hostile that she wanted to grant him a second chance. And, so far, he had done nothing to make her regret that decision. The only one of the Avengers who really didn't care to babysit him was Clint, which didn't surprise anyone. Not that they blamed him. The conversation she had held with him after they had decided to offer him sanctuary floated back into her mind.

"_I don't like this," Clint had said, frowning. "He's planning something. He's gotta be. No one that far gone can suddenly do a one-eighty that quick."_

"_Am I so different," Natasha had hissed at him. "I was a willing tool for men who would have done exactly what he did to use. I've killed a lot of people and frankly so have you." Clint glared at her with narrow eyes at this. "But you saw fit to give me a chance to turn that around. Why should we deprive him of that chance?" _

Natasha shook her head as she continued to type. Yes, she was willing to give him that chance. But now she and Clint faced the imminent fact that Fury planned to use him in their missions. She was uneasy to say the least that her life, or Clint's, could soon be in his hands, hanging in the balance, and depending on whether he took this chance as an opportunity to turn himself around or revert back to his old self. The thought made her insides squirm uncomfortably. She didn't trust him in_ that _way.

She typed until the setting sun deprived the room of light for her to type by and she was forced to turn on the yellow-tinted lights above the bar to see. She continued to type away at the report and finally finished it just as the blanket of night settled on the city.

She looked over her work one last time before submitting it to SHIELD's database. _**That wasn't so bad**_, she thought, _**two down, three more to go…**_

Taking a sip from her wine, she submitted the second of her reports. Just as she began to type the third, she heard a voice beside her, far too close for comfort:

"Good evening, Agent Romanoff."

She jumped noticeably in surprise as Loki's voice came out of nowhere and she spun in the stool to her left to face him. She hadn't even heard him approach her.

Loki noticed her jump at his approach, not exactly what he had expected. "My apologies. I did not intend to frighten."

"Just don't make a habit of sneaking up on me like that," Natasha warned cautiously, keeping her eyes on him while turning back to her work.

"Consider it payback," Loki said jokingly. Clearly not taking his humor as he had intended she stared at him, her eyes void of amusement. He hadn't known exactly what he expected this conversation to begin, but whatever his expectation was, this wasn't it. _**Silver tongue indeed….come on Loki, get yourself together….**_he scolded himself.

Clearing his throat to ease the tension he asked more kindly, "May I?" motioning to the empty stool beside her.

"Okay." Her face became stoic as she kept her eyes focused on him, anticipating her response should this turn out to be a trick. Thank goodness she hadn't removed her weapons from her person…

Loki slid onto the stool and turned the seat to face hers.

"I was… informed by Stark that you were most instrumental in the decision to grant me asylum," Loki explained as politely as he could. "I wish to offer my gratitude."

She released the breath that she was unaware she had been holding until he spoke. "You're welcome." She offered a small smile though far from letting her guard down. She then turned back to her laptop to continue her work.

"I am curious," Loki continued, "as to why you of all your comrades would be the one most insistent upon aiding me when it seems you would have the most to hold against me."

Natasha sighed, still typing away, "I would have thought you would have figured that out."

Loki raised an eyebrow at her. Natasha pressed on. "Considering your knowledge of my past I'd think you would know enough to see that I've been in your position: offered sanctuary by my enemies and a chance to start over," she explained. "It's only fair to pass on the favor."

It made sense to Loki: she was right, it was a simple reason that he should have figured out himself and he felt foolish. Truth be told, he had not spared her past a thought since he had arrived; he had only done so that day on the helicarrier because he saw it as a tool to use against her when she had interrogated him. _**You mean when she tricked you…you were foolish then too…**_

"Well, whatever the reason I am thankful," Loki said.

"It's not like we would have given you back to _them,_" Natasha said, abandoning her report temporarily and turning to face him. She was starting to become more at ease. "That was never an option. Thor wanted to take you back to Asgard at first…" She stopped. Why was she telling him all of this?

"I am sure your loverwould have preferred that." Loki said passively. He emphasized the word 'lover' with an almost bitter sort of tone. Inwardly, he suspected that if it were up to him Clint would have turned him over to the Chitauri again. His open yet passive hostility toward him had proved that.

Natasha felt like he had just thrown a bucket of ice water on her. She never expected the conversation to turn to Clint, let alone for Loki to refer to him like _that. _She leaned away from him, frowning. "Excuse me?"

Loki knew as soon as the words passed his lips that he had stepped on a landmine, and it had just blow up in his face. He could have slapped himself. She certainly looked as though she wanted to.

"Is Agent Barton not… - ?"

"No," She said flatly. As quickly as she had allowed herself to become at ease with their conversation she withdrew and turned back to her work, blocking Loki out.

Clearly this was a subject that he should avoid. "My apologies," he said quickly and dropped the subject. Half this conversation seemed to be him apologizing to her…

Looking desperately for another subject to erase the awkward silence that had fallen between them his eyes fell on the book in front of him. _Macbeth. _He recognized it immediately. "You like to read." He said pointedly. "You read from this book upon our return from the meeting with Director Fury."

"When I have the time," She nodded, still refusing to look at him as she focused on her report.

"It is a wonderful piece of Midgardian literature. Even some scholars on Asgard enjoy it," Loki's voice was brighter than Natasha had ever heard it. She could tell he was just trying to make up for the awkwardness he had caused and she allowed him to do so.

"Are you about to tell me that _you_ read Shakespeare?" She asked mildly, though pleasantly, surprised.

" 'I dare do all that may become a man; Who dares do more is none' " Loki quoted as the corners of his mouth turned up, pleased with himself for recalling the line so quickly.

"Very good," Natasha was actually impressed, and still not over the fact that Shakespeare had somehow managed to transcend into other Realms. "I'm afraid we don't read Asgardian literature here. At least not that I know of."

"Many of our kings of ages past and other prominent Asgardian citizens have made their way into your 'mythology'….Thor included," Loki was glad to have steered the conversation toward a topic that interested them both.

For a while Loki talked about how Asgard and Jotunheim, among the other realms, had managed to disguise themselves within Norse and even Greek and Roman mythology. Natasha, astonishingly, listened intently, genuinely interested in their talk now. She actually loved to read and did so any chance she got. She equally loved the academic discussions of the books she read that no one else wanted to have. In return, she discussed her own interests in classic literature, specifically the 'Lost Generation' writers and, of course, Shakespeare.

They continued to go back and forth discussing the few Shakespearean works that Loki had read and, being much more critical than Thor had _ever _been, analyzed. It felt good to give his mind a bit of exercise, having been repressed for so long, and Natasha certainly proved to be a worthy scholar for the task. Shakespeare was the only Midgardian author he had ever been exposed to but his works were some of Loki's favorites nonetheless. As their conversation progressed they found they had much in common in their hobby of reading and analyzing literature and they had begun making recommendations to one another of books and poems that the other simply _must _read.

"Well I have something of a library on my floor if you're ever interested," Natasha concluded after a while. Where had all the time gone?

"I may take you up on that offer," Loki concluded. Nice as this discussion was, he was quite tired now. "But I have distracted you from your work for long enough."

"Right," Natasha had completely forgotten her abandoned SHIELD reports. She dreaded going back to them now.

Loki stood down from the stool, pleased with himself for his recovery. Just as he had done his first night while she sat with him in lab, he swiftly took her hand and gave it a swift, chaste kiss, as was a common farewell on Asgard. "Goodnight, Agent Romanoff."

Loki dropped her hand and began to back away. "You can call me Natasha if you want," she replied.

He nodded in acknowledgment. "Thank you. _Natasha._" He backed up a few more steps and teleported in a swirl of dim gold light.

….

**A/N: Another chapter down. Thanks to all who have favorited and followed as well as reviewed so far. Reviews are a great and much-appreciated thing : )**


	10. Chapter 10 Of Nightmares and Lullabies

**A/N: ****STRONG SUGGESTION****: At the section that begins with stars (*******), go to youtube and play the song "Hush Thee My Dove, A Manx Lullaby" by Hilary Field and Patrice O'Neill. Here's a link for you: youtube /watch?v=UqRIQgWTPcc . Trust me, it will make reading that part even more enjoyable : )**

**Also, there's kind of a spoiler for the book **_**A Clockwork Orange**_** in this chapter. My favorite book in the world by the way...**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. The roller coaster really kinda starts here. **

**From The Ashes **

**By Anna Morgan **

**Chapter 10 Of Nightmares and Lullabies**

That night, the first nightmare infiltrated his mind's fortress.

_Loki was lying spread eagle on the floor, each hand pinned to the ground by a poisoned knife. Over him, stood the Other – and Thanos. They laughed at him, mocking his pain as they kicked him and spat on him. He could feel the poison burning through him, ripping his nerves apart, boiling his blood as he screamed in agony._

_And suddenly he was surrounded by horrific images of his past as he tortured himself, his sins consuming him, swallowing him like the Void had done._

"_You cannot kill an entire race!"  
"Why not?"_

"_You were made to be ruled."_

"_I will conceal you and a handfold of your soldiers, lead you into Odin's chambers and you can slay him where he lies."_

"_The Chitauri are coming! Nothing can stop that!"_

"_I wanna know what you've done to Agent Barton."  
"I'd say I've expanded his mind."_

"_I could have done it, Father! I could have done it! For you! For all of us!"  
__**"**__No, Loki."_

He bolted upright in his bed, panting, sweating, tears streaming from his eyes. Looking around, he saw that he was not with the Chitauri, or even Thanos, any longer, but safe in his bedroom in the Avengers Tower.

He placed his head in his hands and wiped his eyes. It was a nightmare. Nothing more.

His heart pounded so hard he thought it would jump straight from his chest. The images of his sins still burned fresh in his mind. Gods, why could he remove them?!

Lying back down he closed his eyes again, though he knew it was in vain. He would not sleep again that night.

….

Change and adaptation were a strange and wonderful couple Loki thought, as time passed in the Avengers tower. It seemed as though he had only blinked and a month passed by in the second his eyes were closed. The cool autumn breeze of early November, adorned with gold and scarlet and orange leaves, evolved into a harshly cold December winter wind that left the trees barren and void of life. Not that Loki minded the cold; indeed he actually felt rather comfortable when he stood out on the balcony overlooking the city skyline. Of course, he figured, it was the Jotun blood in him.

As far as life in the tower was concerned, Loki found it couldn't be more different from the structured life in the palace of Asgard. The tower served as both Stark Enterprises' research and development facility _and_ the Avengers headquarters. Because of these uses, and of the occupants themselves, a daily normal routine simply didn't exist. The two resident spies and assassins came and went sporadically, being sent away on missions either together or solo fairly often. Steve also had his own agenda at SHIELD that he was pursuing, having partially filled the gap in the ranks left by Agent Coulson, a role which he shared with Natasha.

Tony and Pepper, of course, had a multi-billion dollar company to run, and so they were attending to business often, when they weren't tinkering in the lab with Bruce of course. Bruce haunted the RnD labs most of the time, having been hired full time by Tony to help lead the RnD team, and so he could most often be found there, surrounded by unhealthy amounts of granola wrappers, half-eaten pizza, and coffee. Random explosions from the labs were not only common in the tower, but a phenomenon to be expected.

It was unpredictable, orderless, unsystematic – and Loki basked in the chaos of it all.

….

Eventually, Loki interacted with each of the Avengers (with the exception of Clint, who he only saw in passing or in the presence of others) but, bar none, Loki's favorite person in the tower quickly became Natasha.

Loki took her up on her offer to let him read some of the books she had at the first opportunity. The first time he visited her was a few evenings after their conversation in the common room floor just as Natasha had returned from one of her missions. It was night, and Loki had long since finished his interview with Steve about Thanos and all that he knew of his plans and he needed something to distract himself from the sinister images that had haunted his mind all afternoon. It was with relief that he remembered Natasha's offer and the opportunity to distract himself for at least a little while.

Loki climbed the stairs three stories up from the common room floor so that he wouldn't startle her again with his teleporting. He climbed until he reached a door with a small red hourglass printed at eye level that indicated it was the Black Widow's, knocked politely and waited until she opened the door.

She was still in her SHIELD uniform when she answered, looking a bit tired and dirty. She looked mildly surprised and a little confused to see him. "Hey, Loki," she said.

"Good evening Natasha," Loki greeted her. "I wonder if I might take you up on your offer to share some of your library?"

Her face relaxed a bit and she smiled lightly. "Sure. Come on in…"

Natasha opened the door to allow him access and closed it again behind him. She led him around the divider to an open living area and his attention was drawn to the left. On the slanted ivory wall was a fireplace, which was blazing now, surrounded by an in-wall bookshelf on all sides. Volumes and volumes of books stacked neatly on the shelves covered nearly every single inch of the wall, encompassing every subject from science to medicine to history and, of course, classic literature.

She hadn't been lying when she said she had a small library. Loki was actually impressed at her collection.

He scanned the wall and quickly found what he was looking for: an entire section of Shakespeare works (every one of his plays from the looks of it). He could tell which ones she read often – their bindings were obviously more worn and bent up than those that sat undisturbed on the shelf. His eyes were drawn immediately to one battered-looking work: _King Lear._ He slowly reached for it and pulled it off the shelf.

Natasha stood to the side, observing him cautiously. "That's a good one," she commented as he scrutinized her collection. "One of my favorites."

"So it would seem," Loki turned the book over in his hand. "You must have read it often judging by the state of it."

She shrugged in reply. "Were you planning to stay here and read it or take it somewhere?" she asked. "I don't mind either way," she added at Loki's expression. "As long as you don't, you know, tear pages out. Or spill coffee on it like Thor did," she added darkly at the memory of Thor knocking over his coffee onto one of her books. True, it was an accident and he had apologized profusely but that didn't make the loss of her book any less tragic.

Loki chuckled lightly. _**That sounds like Thor – clambering about and causing destruction with his clumsiness, **_Loki thought.

"I shall be the image of caution. If it eases you I shall stay here with it," Loki said. He preferred it here – the room was very cozy, and much less noisy than the common room floor.

"That's fine," Natasha replied. "I need to clean up obviously," she looked herself down referencing her dirty, tired appearance. "But you can hang around here, I won't be long."

Loki accepted her offer and made his way to sit in the oversized black circular chair as Natasha departed for her room to shower and clean herself up. He opened the book and began to read silently to himself. After a few minutes he heard the water in the shower turn on. The soft sound of running water mingled with the pop and crackle of the fire that filled the room was calming.

About half an hour later, Natasha emerged from her room clad in simple black jeans and a red t-shirt. Her long red curls were still damp, Loki noticed, as she made her way to the bookshelf to retrieve her own book amongst the many volumes. He watched as she selected one and took it to the end of the sofa furthest away from him. Curling her legs underneath her like a cat, she began to read, humming quietly to herself as Loki focused his attention back to his own book.

Neither one of them said a word for at least an hour, each caught up in their own silent reverie. Loki, for his part, found himself quite content there. He had come to find a calm distraction and he had found it. The air that hung between them was a convivial one – blissful even, in a way that didn't require words. Both of them were perfectly content to allow each other their respite.

Natasha had been surprised at how calm she was around him. Having company after a 48-hour mission halfway across the world, and sitting through one of Fury's famous debriefing sessions, was the last thing she wanted but Loki was proving to be a pleasant guest. Who knew that being in the presence of a megalomaniac who had once tried to enslave the human race could be so comfortable? And, she reminded herself, she _had _offered to let him to borrow some of her books so she couldn't exactly tell him to go away.

Not that she wanted to.

When Loki decided that he had been distracted enough, he returned the book to its place on the shelf and approached Natasha. He extended his hand, requesting hers, which she willingly gave him. "Goodnight, Natasha," he brought her hand to his lips for a chaste kiss before he teleported back to his own room.

And so, it became their routine – whenever Natasha had some free time to herself, amidst her busy SHIELD schedule, missions, and training –she and Loki would sit down together in solitude and bond over the favorite past time that they shared.

….

Loki wished that more of his time could be as peaceful as the ones he spent with Natasha. But the calm hours he spent with her were the polar opposite of the personal hell that he endured each night.

Loki teleported into the common room floor in the morning a month after he had arrived, just as he did each morning. He was in a foul mood with everything – he had not slept well again that night. By now, purple bruises were beginning to form noticeably in the corners and beneath his tired eyes from how little sleep he had gotten in the past month.

Outside, the first snowfall of the year had begun to fall. A gentle wind blew the tiny flakes past the panoramic window that conjured an image of the snowfall in Jotunheim…. He shook his head to remove the image from his mind of the looming, sinister towers cloaked in thick snow and ice.

On this morning, only Bruce was present in the kitchen, hovering over the coffee pot as it brewed (_**Does that man ever sleep?).**_ This was fine with Loki; he didn't feel like dealing with people right now anyway.

On the dining table sat a box containing an antique marble chess set.

"Morning Loki." Bruce said brightly, though obviously tired. "You ever play chess before?"

Loki raised an eyebrow. "No." He grabbed an apple and a cup of black coffee (he actually enjoyed the bitter taste – no need to overload it with sugar and cream, the way Thor did) and sat down at the table. He pulled out Natasha's copy of _King Richard III _and started to read.

"Would you like to learn?" Bruce asked. He didn't wait for Loki to answer before sitting down at the table across from Loki. Really Loki wasn't in a gaming mood but the book wasn't taking his mind off his nightmares, so he figured he may as well.

Bruce sat on the opposite side of him across the table and explained the rules and what the pieces did as Loki listened half-heartedly. He explained how and why he made certain movements with his pieces, which Loki mirrored. Loki caught onto the game quickly and their battle of wits and strategy ensued. _**Midgardians and their simple strategy games…**_

After a few minutes though, Bruce dominated the board, which annoyed Loki more than he already was. He furrowed his brow in concentration while Bruce tried to keep from looking too pleased with himself.

"Sooo….. How are you getting along here, Loki?" Bruce asked, trying to ease the tension a bit. "Do you like it here?"

"It is sufficient," Loki said coolly. He was still concentrating hard on his next movement. "I prefer it to the company of the Chitauri."

"That's…good…" Bruce wasn't sure how far he wanted to push Loki just now. On purpose, he sacrificed one of his knights.

"I heard you're getting along really well with Tony and Natasha," Bruce continued casually.

Loki looked up at him for a second, evaluating the purpose of the conversation. "Yes…it seems I am." _**The beast's mortal form is trying to distract me…. **_He gladly took the knight out with a bishop.

Their conversation was light and consisted of what Loki thought was nonsensical questions and answers: how he spent his days, projects that Bruce was working on in the labs, the idiosyncrasies of each of the Avengers that they both noticed…

Eventually, the topic turned to Natasha.

"I gotta say - it's nice to see Natasha spending time doing something other than beating the hell out of Steve or one of the poor punching bags," Bruce smiled lightly.

Loki looked Bruce in the eye. "It is her nature to unleash her more…_extreme _sentimentalities…in a violent manner. Much like some _others _in this dwelling." He kept eye contact for a few more seconds before moving a rook.

Of course Bruce knew what he was referring to. "Well I guess we're three peas in a pod then," Bruce took Loki's rook.

Loki hadn't been including himself when he had made the reference to the Hulk, but of course he realized how well he fit into that group.

"Since we are on the subject," Loki said more calmly. "I am curious as to her relationship with Agent Barton?" Bruce eyed him suspiciously. "I have noticed there is – as you say – _bad blood_ between them," the words slithered with nearly innocent curiosity from his lips. He _had_ been curious as to the nature of their apparent falling-out since he arrived. More importantly, it seemed as though the change of subject worked.

"Ah, that," Bruce ran a hand through his hair. "Well, don't go telling anyone I was the one who told you," Bruce looked around cautiously, "They were… together after what happened. But," he looked around again, "Clint…uh….had a woman on the side."

Loki hadn't expected that. "He had a mistress?" he exclaimed.

"Yeah…" Bruce continued quietly, as though he were speaking of a voodoo subject.

"Why ever would he do such a thing," Loki blurted out. _**Why would he need another woman if he had the most beautiful creature the Nine Realms had to offer…? **_Loki thought.

_**And where the Hel did that thought come from?!**_

"Beats me," Bruce replied. "She's beautiful, smart, cheeky…she could kick any of our asses with her hands behind her back," he smiled as his voice faded off. "And she's a good friend – doesn't judge anyone…"

Loki could sense the unspoken affection that Bruce obviously held for her.

Bruce snapped out of his daze. "Anyway, Steve and I actually caught him sneaking up with the other woman one night while Natasha was out on a mission," Bruce continued as he picked up his own rook. "Steve gave him an ultimatum: either he could 'fess up or we would tell her." He set down the rook. "So, he confessed."

"And Agent Romanoff was none too pleased I imagine?" Loki moved one of his remaining pawns forward.

"No…she wasn't" Bruce recalled the memory of that night. She had been in the gym, attacking a punching bag mercilessly for hours until her hands bled when he found her. _He had approached her from behind. "Natasha…?" No answer. She kept hitting the bag. "Natasha?" Still no answer. "Natasha!" He grabbed her wrists to stop her. She had struggled for a second before she sank to her knees, sobbing as the blood poured down her forearms. He had hushed her as he held her close to his chest and ran his hand down her hair over and over, trying in vain to calm her…_

"It really wasn't a pleasant sight," Bruce shook his head to clear the memory away. "I don't think we ever got all the blood off that bag." He backed Loki's king into a corner. "Check."

Loki moved a piece out to defend his king. "But they seem to work well together."

"Yeah, they've been SHIELD partners for years," Bruce replied as he picked up his queen. "They moved on pretty quick from it. They're really professional at what they do." He placed the queen down. "Checkmate."

Loki growled. He cursed the foolishness of the stupid Midgaurdian game as he rose from the table, Bruce grinning triumphantly.

….

Loki's mood hadn't improved much throughout the day. By the time Natasha arrived home in the early evening he had managed to get in a short nap, though it didn't help much.

They sat on the sofa in the common room floor tonight. It had been a long day for Natasha and she was exhausted. Her mind was at ease, however, when she had arrived home and Loki was already in the common room floor, reading to himself. Somehow, his presence calmed her, helped her unwind after difficult days like today. Perhaps because she now associated him with her one comforting activity….

Wordlessly, she sat down and began to read, willing herself to focus on the book before her, but something seemed off. She took her eyes from her book to examine him: he sat slightly slumped back in the center of the sofa, his knees spread apart, and leaning slightly to his left as he held the book in front of him. She could tell he was having a hard time focusing – he had dark circles under his eyes and purple bruises in the corners that indicated how sleepy he was.

He felt her eyes on him, and he raised his own to look at her from the corners of his weary eyes. "What, may I ask, are you staring at?"

"You," she said thoughtfully. "You look tired."

"Aren't you an ever-observant one?" he replied sarcastically.

Her face stayed neutral. "Are you alright?"

Loki was surprised by the tenderness of her tone. "Why do you ask?" _**Why do you care? **_

"Why should I _not _ask?" she pushed. He remained silent. She waited.

Finally, Loki sighed. "It is nothing you should concern yourself with." He turned his attention back to his book. He _wanted_ to be able to trust her with that information. But he knew he would only be giving her potential ammunition to use against him in the future if she needed it. He knew that trick well…

Her gaze remained focused on him for a minute longer before she relented and turned back to her book. Her intuition told her that she knew exactly what was wrong based on her own experiences, but she didn't want to push the issue. She couldn't help but be reminded of that first night he had been there, when she walked on eggshells to keep him from imploding on himself in his fragile mental state at the time.

For another few moments, they sat quietly, the air somewhat heavy and tense. Suddenly Loki shut his book with a loud _SNAP! _Natasha jumped.

"What a stupid story," he commented angrily.

"Okay, first, please don't slam my books around, this copy is an original print," she took the book from his hands. Her voice was calm but he could tell she was annoyed. "Second, how can you say _Lord of the Rings _is stupid? It's a classic fantasy tale!"

"Because it is a _fantasy!" _He stood and paced around to release his annoyance._ "_These _hobbit_ creatures do not exist _anywhere _in the Nine Realms! It is impossible for _any_ of this to be real. Elves and Dwarves are _nothing _like the way they are described here," he ranted. "And they certainly do not interact with mortals. And furthermore, why in the name of _Valhalla _would a King of an immortal race trust an all-powerful ring with the potential to destroy the world and all who inhabit it in the hands of useless, defenseless creatures with no extraordinary powers and no way to safeguard it? It is completely illogical!" He took a deep breath and he realized how childish he must sound.

Natasha felt a strange rush of amusement at his now-familiar rants and had to stop herself from smiling.

"Relax, Spock, it's just a story." She eyed him inquisitively. "Here – " she reached into her bag beside her and pulled out a black paperback book. She held it close to her before reaching out to him.

She knew it could release triggers in him, and because she knew this, she hesitated. "This one is a little more _real and logical._"

Loki looked at her, then down at the book, then back at her again before he took it from her outstretched hand. He examined it. "_A Clockwork Orange_," he read aloud. He looked back up at her. "What does it concern?"

"It's centered on the possibility of 'evil' being as valid a state of being as 'good', and that it's our ability to choose between the two, not necessarily which path we choose, that's important," she paused. "it's a philosophical novel. My favorite book." He raised his eyebrows curiously. There was a pregnant pause; obviously this was a sensitive subject for them both. Their gaze held; Loki was the first to break it. He accepted it and went back to his original spot on the sofa. Sensing that the waters had calmed a bit she retreated back to her spot as he began to read.

A few more minutes passed. Natasha began to hum to herself quietly, barely audible to anyone who was not sitting three feet from her. It was a calm, slow tune that Loki recognized; she would hum it to herself all the time. He found himself becoming calmer as she carried on, it's slow melody draining his foul mood away from him.

"That song," he said more gently, his annoyance retreating. "You are always singing it." She stopped and looked at him. "What is it?"

Natasha hesitated. "It's a lullaby," she said. "My mother would sing it to my brother and me. Before the fire. Before the Red Room," she looked down, shaking her head. "It's one of the only memories I have that I know is my own."

Loki was surprised. This was the first mention of her past that she had willingly spoken of. He actually felt pity for her for a fleeting second, remembering how Frigga would sing to him as well. To calm the nightmares he had as a child…

"Sing it," he requested, though he as certainly not forceful.

***********Keeping her head down, she granted his request. She began to sing softly in a low but nonetheless beautiful tone:

"_Oh hush thee my dove, oh hush thee my rowan  
Oh hush thee my lapwing my little brown bird  
Oh hush thee my dove, oh hush thee my rowan  
Oh hush thee my lapwing my little brown bird_

_Oh fold thy wings, and seek thy nest now  
Oh shine the berry on the bright tree  
The bird is home from the mountain and valley_

_Oh hush thee my birdie my pretty dearie  
Oh hush thee my birdie my pretty dearie"_

She finished, her eyes in a daze as if she were somewhere else completely. Loki just stared at her. "That is beautiful," he said quietly.

Natasha smiled appreciatively. "Thanks," She caught his eye.

_**She has trusted you with a token of her past. How can you expect her to trust you if you do not trust her? **_Loki sighed. That little voice was right.

"You asked what it is that bothers me," he explained slowly. "I have nightmares," he said "of certain darker aspects of my past." _**No need to be specific on the details... **_"They keep me awake at night."

Natasha listened intently. "I know," he turned his head curiously. "I have those too sometimes," she explained. "It's just one of those things about our histories that will never truly leave us. They are a part of us, and they will never, ever go away."

Loki cringed at the familiarity of those words.

Natasha continued. "Trust me, they'll subside eventually."

Suddenly, his anger flared up again inside of him. _**How would she know? She has not been through what you have been through. She has not seen what you have seen. How could she possibly pretend to know what it is like? What the future will hold? How dare she presume to know such things!**_

He held his tongue, shaking his head, he turned back to reading. Sensing that the conversation was over, she returned to hers as well.

They continued reading silently for another hour or so. Loki managed to calm himself and restrained the cynical voice into the back of his mind. A new feeling – one of kinship – had replaced the formerly tense air between them. He felt that he understood her a bit better – despite his bad mood, the likenesses between them that the evening had revealed were not lost on him.

When Loki decided he was too tired to read on, he stood from the sofa and placed the book down on the table. Natasha knew by now what the routine was and she stood as well. He reached for her hand and gazed intensely into her eyes. As he raised her hand to his lips he kept eye contact with her, never moving them away from hers as he raised her hand to his lips, just as he had done each night they spent together.

Except, tonight, there was something else to his gesture, something that had to do with the unspoken fellowship that they both sensed had developed between them. Loki kissed the back of her hand, more gingerly than he ever had before. She must have noticed the change as well, and barely repressed a blush.

"Goodnight, Natasha," he managed to say quietly.

"Goodnight, Loki."

He teleported back to his room, leaving Natasha standing there almost dazed. She waited for a moment for the feelings to subside before retreating back to her own room for the night.

….

**A/N: Another chapter down. A sincere thank you to all who have favorited, followed, and reviewed so far. Please don't be shy – tell me what you think : ) It actually does help with the writing process. More than you know. **


	11. Chapter 11 Monsters In The Dark

**From The Ashes**

**By Anna Morgan**

**Chapter 11 Monsters In The Dark**

_Natasha sat at the old man's bedside, looking upon him with tragic adoration and guilt. It was her fault – all her fault. They had targeted him because of her. Because she had allowed herself to become attached to him, they had used him against her. To get back at her. _

_Her adopted father Ivan __Petrovitch__lay unconscious before her, broken and beaten by the weapons dealer that she had brought down just a few weeks ago. She faced her own death in Sao Paulo to rescue him – the only family she had, that she had known since the fire. She was broken and beaten herself but still she managed to pull an escape plan from thin air and return them to Russia. She couldn't take him to a doctor; there would be too many questions that she could not answer. _

_It was then that she realized that he would never know peace; never know what it's like to not be hunted. _

_Natasha knew what she had to do. _

_Tearfully, she stood and walked determinedly to the kitchen and found what she was looking for in an old, elaborate cabinet with one door barely clinging to its hinges: a tiny bottle of clear, odorless liquid. She poured its contents into a syringe with a thin needle and brought it back to Ivan's room. She hated herself for what she was about to do, but she knew there was no other way. They would kill the poor old man slowly and painfully eventually. It was better this way. _

_She inserted the needle into his arm and pushed the plunger slowly as to not wake him and then took her seat by his side once more. A few minutes passed. The rise and fall of his chest eased slowly, slowly, until it stopped completely._

_Her task complete, Natasha leaned down, and placed a kiss on his forehead. "Goodnight Papa. I love you…" she spoke in Russian. _

_Her tears of sadness and self-loathing spilled from her eyes and she stood, exiting the elaborate house and never looked back. _

Natasha's eyes flew open, loaded with fresh tears that always came with that particular dream. She didn't thrash or struggle to wake – her struggle was all internal. Torture by her own mind.

She couldn't sleep anymore – not after that. She threw the comforter to the side and walked to the panoramic widow that covered one wall of her bedroom. It was still snowing, though not as hard as earlier. She placed one hand flat against the cold glass. The flakes gently rode the breeze by her window, descending gracefully. Here it was gentle, not like the harsh, violent snowstorms that plagued Russia this time of year. It was calming, inviting even. Perhaps some fresh air would do her some good.

She dressed in a warm red sweater and jeans and grabbed her black leather jacket. Pulling it on, she looked through the window again and looked down to the balcony and that's when she noticed _him_. _**Great minds think alike **_she thought.

….

Loki couldn't sleep. He had tried; but he had managed only a couple of hours before he just couldn't take anymore and his mind snapped him back to consciousness. So he did what he always did when he couldn't sleep: he went out on the balcony to clear his mind.

He leaned forward onto the railing, his forearms resting on the metal bar with his hands clasped in front of him. One foot was resting on the bottom metal bar with his leg bent. Tiny snowflakes surrounded him as the moon graced the night with a bright light that it managed to interject from behind the clouds.

It seemed to him that he would never escape the horrible images and feelings that he had endured nearly every night since his escape. He would be forever afflicted by the horrors of his past and that nagging part of him that desired nothing more than to cause mayhem and mischief.

But still he could not deny that part of him wanted to repress that side and embrace the calmer life that he had lived for the past four weeks. His former enemies had now become almost like companions. Not friends – _never _friends – because friends only belonged to those who were worthy of them. No – the Avengers were companions, like Sif and the Warriors Three – who only tolerated him because of _Thor…_

_**But that's not true**_, he thought suddenly. He remembered how that more pleasant part of him had cracked at his hard shell of a soul just earlier this evening…while he sat peacefully with Natasha.

_**Natasha….**_

Just the thought of her brought a smile to his lips. She had become the closest thing to a 'friend' that he'd known in a _long_ time. He enjoyed her company as of late, more so tonight than he ever had. He valued the qualities he found in her: a dripping ledger to match his own, clever, intelligent, manipulative, sneaky, and she flourished in the chaos that she created around herself. Yet there was a distinct difference between them as well: she could also be gentle, calm, reserved. Bruce's words floated back to his mind: _**She's beautiful, smart, cheeky…she could kick any of our asses with her hands behind her back. And she's a good friend – doesn't judge anyone…**_

And there was something else there too. Something that was foreign and confusing to him that he couldn't quite name nor understand…

Loki remembered the feeling of wanting nothing more, when he was with her earlier, than to stay in the relative peace of mind that he couldn't deny that she provided him. His thought process was more clear, more sensible, more _sane_ around her, and a reasonable side dominated his personality around her, the side that wanted the calmer life, away from the hunters that stalked him across the Nine Realms.

_**But you cannot make that decision based on how you feel just around her**_, he reasoned with himself. _**If you change your ways, you must do it for yourself. **_

Of course, that was entirely correct. Besides, who would want a _monster _like him for a friend, for a companion of _any_ kind?

He shook his head to stop his thoughts chasing each other around and around in his mind. Instead, he focused on the city's nighttime façade before him.

The skyline was bright against the inky-black sky, the multicolored lights glowing, the snow dancing between the towers and buildings, descending and swirling around him. It was a beautiful scene in its own right; maybe not the same kind of beautiful as Asgard, but this scene had a different kind of beauty that was uniquely its own.

"Trouble sleeping?" called a voice over the whistling wind from behind him.

_**How does she manage to always sneak up on me like that? **_Loki thought, amused.

He straightened up, standing to his full height. Her breath caught in her throat; he looked so handsome with his dark features, his pale complexion illuminated by the moonlight, and those blazing, pale blue eyes that stood out against the dark… _**Stop thinking like that. What's the matter with you….? **_She snapped out of that thought.

"I could say the same for you," he replied.

She strode forward so that she was standing next to him. His eyes followed her until she stopped at the railing beside him. He knew the reason she was out there; it was the same as his own.

'_**I know. I have those too sometimes…'**_

She rested her arms on the railing, keeping her posture upright. Loki took in her sight – she was very petite, barely standing 5'4": the perfect height to rest her arms comfortably on the rail. He absolutely _towered _over her.

They stood together, like two statues overlooking the city for a few minutes, enjoying each other's presence, neither one speaking. Natasha was the first to break the silence.

"It's very pretty, isn't it?" she asked finally.

He looked over to her. "Indeed it is," he said simply.

"It almost reminds me of Russia. There's lots of snow in Russia this time of year…" she trailed.

Loki didn't respond. She paused for a few minutes before speaking again.

"Same ones as before?" she asked quietly looking out.

Loki looked at the ground. Natasha took that to mean 'Yes'.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head. _No. _

She didn't know what to say, so she said nothing.

Almost as soon as he refused her offer Loki felt an overwhelming urge to tell her about them, to trust her. Part of him wanted to, but this cynical voice sneered at him:

_**She cannot be trusted. She will manipulate you as she did before. You know this…**_

"If you ever want to talk about it I'm listening," she said quietly. _**Damn her benevolent insistence….**_

"It is nothing that you should concern yourself with," he said flatly.

"Maybe I am concerned," she said simply.

Loki frowned. Flattering though her intentions were, he was not in the mood to be prodded. Her kindness, rather than soothing him, had the opposite effect.

"You would not understand," he said lowly, his voice harsher than before.

"I think I would understand – "

"No! You do not understand," he barked, his voice suddenly as dark and cold as the winter night surrounding them.

She turned to face him, her arms dropping to her side. "You really think so?" she asked skeptically. She felt unexpectedly offended…

"No one can! How can you possibly?" He took a deep breath. "You do not know what I have been through. You Midgardian misfits – attempting to 'understand' what I have gone through, what I have suffered. You have not known my pain; you have not shared any of my experiences. No, you cannot 'understand' me." His breathing was ragged and he stared her down, wishing daggers to come and strike her down where she stood.

Natasha stared right back at him defiantly, disbelief and anger swirling underneath her calm façade.

"You know what? You're right," she hissed, turning her head to face ahead toward the city once more. "I couldn't _possibly _understand what it's like to discover that everything you know about yourself is a _lie_, even down to your own _name_-"

This caught Loki's attention and he turned sharply to face her again.

"-to have no idea _who_ or _what_ you really are. To understand how it feels to know that you have no _control_ over your own destiny and no choice that you have ever made has truly been your own." She paused to regain her composure as her eyes filled with tears and her voice cracked ever so slightly.

Loki could feel the guilt begin to bubble inside him. How had he been so blind? He _knew _her past, knew the truth of her words… the daggers he wished upon her only seconds ago turned back around to stab at him instead…

"And I suppose I can't possibly know what it's like to be tortured and abused, and to have your mind and body used as just a means to an end for someone else's diabolical schemes. And then to have your past laid out before you, knowing that no matter what you do from this point, you will _never_ be able to make any of it right again. You're right, I _wouldn't_ understand."

Her memories flashed in her mind as she spoke her last words. The tears that had formed in her eyes fell freely now. She looked down at the ground in an attempt to hide them, but Loki had already seen. She departed back toward the doors, her movements haste and determined amidst her obvious devastation.

Before she could reach the door however, she felt a cool hand wrap gently around her wrist, stopping her.

She turned and looked up at him. The moonlight betrayed a thin layer of tears in his eyes as he looked pleadingly into her own. All malice and contempt were absent from them now. Instead, he looked broken, vulnerable, as though something within him, guarding him, had shattered.

"Please don't," Loki whispered.

She considered pushing him away. But she did not. She couldn't. Gently, she led him back to their spot, not bothering to remove his hand from her wrist.

And so they stared out into the city in revered silence. Words were unnecessary as they savored this rare moment of truth and peace amidst their lives of lies and chaos. She shivered as a bitterly cold breeze wrapped itself around her, but she didn't dare move.

Loki was at a loss for words. Here was a creature who finally understood what he felt, how utterly miserable his existence was, and how bitter it made him feel. She had put into words what he had been feeling all along. And it was all due to the fact that she had felt them herself. He was not alone.

Almost as if she knew what he was thinking, she looked back up at him again, and said in a tone barely above a whisper,

"You're not the only monster out there like you, you know."

Loki removed his hand from her wrist and wrapped his arms gently around her waist and pulled her close to him. Whether it was for her comfort or his own, he wasn't sure. He just needed to feel her, to know that she was real. Natasha stiffened a bit but she didn't resist as he pulled her so that her back was flat against him. His head rested on top of hers as she crossed her arms over his to further protect herself from the biting winter wind.

Loki told her everything. He told her of Odin's deception, how it had broken him to discover that he was the monster he was raised to hate and fear; how he would have rather died in the void rather than live a life of lies in Asgard; how Amora had tricked him and handed him over to the Chitauri; and how the Chitauri had tortured him – every detail of their games that he could bear to speak of.

Natasha proved to be a good audience; she stroked his arm with her fingertips as he spoke to calm him, and when he came to the difficult parts she would stop and wrap her arms encouragingly around his, which still held her tightly at the waist. When he spoke of that first night with them when they had pinned him to the floor with knives she removed her arms from his to examine his palms, her face full of concern. They still bore the scars left by the knives in the center of his palms, all the way through the back of his hand. She touched them with her fingertips lightly, sending a shiver through him that had nothing to do with the cold.

"I feel…as though I have died a thousand deaths." Loki finished finally, staring down over the edge. He felt better now, as if he had been carrying a Hulk-sized load on his shoulders and it had been lifted off of him. "That I have been completely destroyed a thousand times over," he choked on the words as they came out.

Natasha allowed him some silence as she thought of something appropriate to say to him. "Have you ever considered that destruction can be another form of creation?" she asked thoughtfully. Loki turned his gaze from the dark Manhattan skyline to face down at her.

"Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes to believe in yourself," she said quietly, "and love yourself to become a new person."

Loki nodded as the words sank in. He wasn't sure he could believe them, not yet anyway.

"May I ask you something?" he said abruptly.

"Okay."

"What did you mean, when you said that your name was a lie?" He asked.

She shrugged. "When I left the KGB and came over to SHIELD, I changed my name to Natasha Romanoff," she explained.

"And what was it before then?" he pushed.

"I was born Natalia Alianovna Romanova," she said simply.

"Natalia Alianovna Romanova…." He repeated. He loved the way it sounded. It flowed so effortlessly from his tongue. "That is beautiful…" He hesitated before going out on a limb. "May I call you Natalia?"

"Only if you want me to cut off your tongue." She smiled sweetly at him.

He raised his hands in defeat. He got the point. "Fair enough, _Natasha_."

"It's cold out here," she stated. "I'm going in."

"That is a good idea," he replied. To his surprise she held out her hand, requesting his. And more to his surprise, he gave it to her. She cupped her hand platonically around his own and led him inside.

They entered back into the warm common room floor. It felt so good in contrast to the bitter cold outside. As they approached the sitting area, Natasha stopped them and she turned to face Loki. "Goodnight, Loki," she said quietly, squeezing his hand.

Natasha made to let go of his hand so she could go back to her own floor, but Loki had another idea. He made a bold move – he held tightly to the hand he already held, swiftly but gently swiped the other from her side and led her to the sofa. Natasha was shocked but sensed no malicious intent on his part and let him lead. He sat down in the corner of the sofa against the armrest and leaded back against it as he brought her down with him. Once she was seated next to him e snaked his arms around her waist again and pulled her down so that her head rested against his chest, his signature mischievous grin plastered on his face all the while.

"Goodnight, Natasha," he said.

_**Oh, that was sneaky**_, she laughed to herself. She allowed herself to relax against him and let sleep overcome her.

When he was sure she was asleep, he smoothed his hand down her length of her hair and placed a quick kiss atop her head before laying his head down on her own, allowing sleep to take him as well.

The nightmares did not come back again that night. Not for either of them.

….

Natasha awoke the next morning to a soft throw pillow crashing against her face.

She let out a gasp and leaped up, ready to attack the assailant with all of her Black Widow force when Clint's hand wrapped around her raised arms. Below her, Loki stirred as the warmth and weight of her body against his disappeared.

She sighed in relief to see that it was just Clint. But she could feel the tension rise again at the expression on his face as he looked from her, to Loki, and back to her again. _**Oh…. **_

"Fury just called. He wants us and _him _at headquarters in an hour. He has a mission for us," he explained simply, his voice emotionless. He didn't even give her a chance to reply before he let go of her arms and walked away, leaving her frozen where she was, her arms still raised and feeling that maybe he was a little upset.

….

**A/N: Another chapter down. As always, thank you for the follows, favorites, and especially the reviews. Please let me know what you think. Love it…? Hate it…? Either way it helps with the writing process to get feedback! **

**Also, the title's namesake quote appeared in this chapter. +10,000 points to you if you spotted it. **

**The quote is by Gerard Way. All credit to him for that particular line. **


	12. Chapter 12 Assemble

**From The Ashes**

**By Anna Morgan**

**Chapter 12 Assemble**

The ride to SHIELD headquarters was awkward to say the least.

When Clint said that Fury wanted "us" at headquarters, Natasha assumed that meant Clint, Loki, and herself, but no; he actually meant "us" as in "The Avengers."

Loki and Natasha scrambled up from their places on the sofa and only shared a quick glance to say "good morning" before disappearing (literally, in Loki's case) to their rooms.

Within a few minutes all six of the tower's current occupants were herded downstairs by an enthusiastic Steve and crammed into two separate SHIELD company vehicles. Loki had chosen to follow Tony and Steve into the second vehicle, sensing that he was unwelcome in Clint's presence at the moment. Loki purred inwardly, secretly pleased with himself for being the root cause of Clint's distress (_**a bit of mischief at last…**_).

All the way to SHIELD headquarters, Clint gave Natasha the cold shoulder, not speaking to her unless he had to. Mercifully, Bruce elected to sit up front with Clint behind the wheel and Natasha sat comfortably in the back with a couple of escort agents. She wasn't even sure what to say to Clint; whatever she said he probably wouldn't take it well anyway, so she said nothing. Clint looked like he was biting his tongue, trying hard not to say what he really wanted to say until they had some time alone.

Loki followed the Avengers through the now familiar halls of SHIELD headquarters. This time, instead of heading to the control room, they rounded a couple of different corners and crowded into a briefing room. The room looked very much like a school classroom, with a large round table in the center and a projector screen on the forward wall. Three stairs in the back of the room led up to a platform and a widow overlooking the city. Centered on the platform, talking and waiting for the rest of the team, was Fury and Thor.

Thor smiled as he departed from Fury's presence and approached Loki, extending his arm to place on Loki's right shoulder – a gesture which Loki returned as he smiled back. He had genuinely missed his brother, and he felt more at ease now in his presence.

They turned and took their seats at the table with the rest. Fury walked to the front of the room and stood before them, his legs shoulder-width apart and his hands behind his back; his signature stance.

"Good Morning," Fury started, as he looked around the table in greeting. "The mission sitting before you is a point reconnaissance, with the possibility of a follow-up attack mission," he continued. His tone was serious and completely professional.

On the screen in front of them flashed a map of Russia, with one city in the southwest corner highlighted, Volgograd. A map of the city, the area around it, and a weather report for the next two days flashed across the screen. Loki was again very much impressed by the technology.

"Your mission is to conduct a point reconnaissance on a base outside of Volgograd, Russia belonging to the organization AIM – the Advanced Idea Mechanics," Fury explained. "They're the former weapons development branch of HYDRA."

Steve's eyes widened. "HYDRA?" Fury nodded to him, "The very same, Captain."

"A reliable source has informed us that this organization may be developing weapons of mass destruction for a newly-formed faction of HYDRA," Fury continued. "We also have reason to believe that these weapons are being powered by a device similar in composition and structure to the Tesseract," Thor and Loki exchanged surprised looks before looking sharply back at Fury. "It emits a gamma radiation signature that we can't properly measure. "

"We need information on the base's layout, any information you can about the number of agents stationed there, their capabilities, intentions, and any and all information you can get on their weapons and the device powering them. If the number of agents is low enough that you have the advantage _or" _he emphasized "you are fired upon, your mission will turn into an attack-to-destroy."

"Captain, you're in charge of this mission. Stark, I'm assigning you to go as a weapons expert, help them evaluate the weapons and their capabilities," Fury explained. Tony nodded. "Banner, I need to you get a reading on this power source, and any other information on the radiation that it emits. Agent Barton, Agent Romanoff, you two just do what you do best," Natasha and Clint grinned smugly as they nodded in unison.

"Loki," Loki gave his full attention to Fury, "I want you to tag along with Agents Barton and Romanoff for an extra layer of concealment and protection. Thor says that illusions are your specialty. Make sure that they aren't seen," Loki looked to Thor.

Thor answered for him, "They are one of his many strengths. My brother is a _master _of magic," he said proudly. Loki smirked at his brother's praise and turned his attention back to Fury. Clint's eyes narrowed slightly at Fury's request, though he kept his demeanor calm and professional.

"Consider this your trial run," he finished keeping his eye focused on Loki so that it bore through to him. His look clearly said 'Don't fuck this up. Or else.'

Fury looked around the table to acknowledge to all of the team members, "You will have twenty-four hours to conduct this mission and report in, once you land in Volgograd. Are there any questions?" he looked around. Seeing none, he looked down at his watch, "Then your jet will leave in an hour from the usual place. Good luck."

Everyone rose from the table and filed from the room one by one. Loki caught Natasha's eye and she gave him an encouraging smile as he lingered back, hoping to catch her on her own.

But Clint foiled this plan; he bent down to whisper something in her ear and her smile disappeared. Looking considerably more serious, she followed Clint hastily from the room. Loki frowned and followed the others out of the room.

….

Down the hall, Natasha followed Clint into the locker room. Their lockers were right next to each other of course, so as Clint began to collect his bow and a full quiver of assorted-purpose arrows Natasha reached into her own locker to pull out a pair of Glocks, a cleaning kit, her widow bites, and a set of knives and stuffed them into a small black duffel bag.

"So," Clint began, "what exactly did I walk in on this morning?"

Natasha knew this was coming. She placed her cleaning kit into the duffle bag. "Nothing that couldn't be seen by everyone in the common floor," she replied.

Clint just stared at her. "Look, there's nothing going on with me and Loki," she looked him in the eye as she spoke. Judging by his expression, Natasha knew she hit what he was getting at.

He lowered his head and eyed her suspiciously. "Nat, I don't want you to get mixed up with him. He's dangerous," he said bluntly.

"He isn't dangerous," she said simply.

"You know that's not true."

"_You _know that it _is_." Clint narrowed his eyes at her. "He hasn't done anything to hurt or threaten any of us since he's been here," she defended him.

"That doesn't mean he isn't _planning_ to do something!" Clint's voice was raised now.

"He hasn't given off any warning signs or verbal cues to indicate that he's planning anything," she said pointedly, keeping her voice calm.

"I'm sorry, what is it that he's the god of exactly?" he asked sarcastically. "Truth? Kindness? Cute little bunny rabbits and butterflies? No, _LIES, _Natasha! And _mischief!_" His voice was angry but also full of concern. "You know just as well as I do what this guy is capable of!"

Natasha shook her head. She spoke more softly now, "I know he has the potential to be very dangerous, and yes, he's done terrible things and I understand why you're upset," she continued as she placed her knives in her bag, "but he's not _evil. _He's hurt. And he's searching for a way out of where he is right now. He just… needs a push in the right direction."

"You can't tell me that all he needs is a hug and to be put in front of a fire with a blanket and a teddy bear and he'll be ok."

She shut the locker door and sighed. She kept her head down and her palm flat against the cold metal surface of the locker as she thought for a moment.

"Do you remember what you said to me, the night you were sent to kill me?" she asked softly, staring at the locker door. Clint just stared at her in disbelief.

"You said: 'there's going to come a moment where you're going to have to decide which path you want to take. Either you can continue on _this_ path into the darkness, or you can come with me and I'll show you the light.'" She spoke airily, as though she were quoting scripture from the gospel. "His moment is coming, Clint, if he hasn't had it already it's going to come soon. And I want to be there for him when it does," she said lowly.

Clint sighed, knowing he'd been defeated. _**Stubborn wench….**_he thought, though it was more fond than angry. He reached out to her with the hand that wasn't holding his bow and placed it tenderly on her shoulder. "Please just be careful," he pleaded.

"I will. Promise," she replied simply.

He patted her shoulder before dropping his hand and picking up his own black duffel bag and made his way out of the locker room, Natasha soon to follow him.

….

Loki paced back and forth in the lounge on the flight line, waiting with the Avengers for Natasha and Clint to return. All of the Avengers had already suited up; Tony sat beside Bruce in a couple of the lounge chairs while Thor and Steve stood against the wall, Mjolnir and the shield in hand. Loki was in full battle attire, horns and all, with a golden spear in hand. He looked up just long enough to catch Thor's eye. He gave Loki a comforting smile before his eyes suddenly widened as a thought hit him.

"Loki! Before my mind slips away from me again – " Thor reached into a hidden pocket on his armor.

"It cannot 'slip away' if you have no grasp on it to begin with, Brother."

" – Mother sends _this!_" He pulled a rolled up strip of black leather tied together by an elegant silver cord and held it out. Loki stopped dead in his tracks; he recognized it at once and he nearly gasped aloud.

"Where – where did you find these?" Loki choked on the words as he gently took the leather roll from Thor's hand.

"Mother hoped to return them to you herself upon your return, however we both felt that they would be more useful to you now," Thor smiled solemnly as he watched Loki untie the elegant cord and unrolled the leather pouch. Inside, were six silver throwing knives of assorted shapes and sizes. _His _knives. The ones he thought he had lost on Jotunheim the day he found out…

Loki had to swallow a lump in his throat. His _mother _sent them. It hit him then, like a ton of bricks, how he missed the woman.

"Aww, I think he's gonna cry," Tony quipped. Bruce smacked him in the back of the head.

Indeed, Loki was struggling to hold back tears of both gratitude and longing. He looked up at Thor, back down to his knives, and then back at Thor again before he launched himself forward, snaking his arms around his brother's neck, and planting a kiss on his brother's stunned-looking cheek.

"Give _that _to Mother for me when you see her again," Loki said. He let go and slid back against the wall to examine his precious knives, like a child slinking away to play with a Christmas gift for the first time. Tony opened his mouth to say something else but Bruce was quick to give him another smack on the back of the head to silence him. Thor watched fondly as Loki removed each one of them and placed them in the empty sheaths that were built into his tunic.

Just then, the door opened and in strode Clint and Natasha, fully suited up and carrying their duffel bags full of needed equipment. "Ready?" Steve asked them. "Always ready, Cap," Natasha replied for them.

Together, the seven of them strode out of the lobby and onto the flight line to the awaiting jet, whose engines were whirling into life as they made their approach. The hatch at the back of the jet opened and they filed in. Tony, Bruce, Steve, and Clint strapped themselves in on one side while Natasha, Loki, and Thor took their places across from them. Loki felt more confident, more at ease than he had when they left the tower, and he sighed contently as he felt the knives' presence on his person again. He looked over to Natasha, who strapped herself in beside him, and gave her a small smile, which she returned. He felt his heartbeat thud quickly when his eyes met hers.

"Ready?" she asked quietly, so that only he could hear.

"As I will ever be I imagine," he replied.

Steve led the conversation for the entire flight, which consisted primarily of going over their game plan: who was on what team, what they would each be doing, and going over possible scenarios and backup plans for if someone's position was compromised. He was a good leader, Loki thought, even more so than he had seen Thor be in battle. Steve was invigorating, motivating, genuinely thrilled by the simple task that lay ahead of them, and his enthusiasm was contagious.

When they reached their destination night had descended on the area, and it was very dark. A moderate snowfall descended on them as they stepped out of the quinjet and onto the soft blanket of several inches of fresh snow that covered the ground, their breaths an icy fog in the bitter cold. Natasha's words from the night before formed in his mind _**'There's lots of snow in Russia this time of year.' **_She definitely hadn't been lying. Loki could tell they were beyond the city limits; behind them were the semi-distant city lights shrouded behind the snowfall, ahead of them lay a thick wooded area that they could not see through. It was an intimidating sight. The trees were tall and dark, growing close together and void of life as they loomed menacingly over them all. The only sound came from the wind that intertwined itself among and between the trees, whistling as it flew by.

Steve stepped forward and took the point position. "Okay, everyone, let's move out." They filed into two lines of three and followed close behind one another as Steve led them into the forest; Loki, Natasha, and Clint on one side; Bruce, Thor, and Tony on the other. Loki waved his arms to cast a silencing spell and their noisy footsteps silenced, earning him an appreciative nod from Steve at the front. "I knew we brought him along for a good reason," Tony whispered quietly.

Around them, the snow continued to fall and soon, their fresh footprints were partly filled with fresh snow to camouflage their trail. Loki glanced around, never keeping his head turned in one direction for more than a few seconds. He scanned the area looking for anything suspicious as Thor mimicked his movements on the other side of their little formation. Natasha and Clint were the only ones who looked as though they were completely in their own element – stealthily moving in their all-black attire; they were veterans to this sort of thing and it was obvious. Their heads and eyes were straightforward, focused on their mission alone. After a few minutes, the terrain started to slope upward as they came upon a hill. They climbed to the top, slowing their pace only slightly. At the summit, Steve held up his hand to stop them. Without speaking, as though it were a movement they practiced all the time, both lines formed into a straight line on either side of him, taking cover among the brushes along the top of the hill.

The base looked something like an old abandoned factory. There were two separate buildings, connected together by a bridge suspended between them. Two tall smokestacks stood like giants in the foreground with one emitting small puffs of smoke. A handful of people clad in dark clothing scurried around on the ground and across the bridge.

"Alright, Hawkeye, I want you on the roof of _that _building," Steve directed, pointing to the building on the left, "call out patterns and anything out of the ordinary as you see them. Widow," Natasha tore her eyes from the scene to look at Steve, "You and Loki go in, Thor, Stark and Banner will follow to evaluate the weapons and their power source once you give us the go ahead."

Loki observed her as Natasha nodded determinedly. He could almost physically see the mask of the Black Widow fall over her face, all traces of Natasha disappearing behind the stoic, calculating façade of the master assassin. The transformation was amazing.

Clint, Natasha, and Loki got up and moved stealthily toward the building, taking cover behind brush and rocks whenever someone looked in their direction. Loki waved his hand to cast the silencing spell around them as they moved. Finally, they came upon the first of the two buildings and Clint peeled off, dashing off into the night. They could just barely make out his silhouette climbing the building and perching himself just behind the ledge.

"Hawkeye in place," Loki heard Clint declare through his earpiece.

"Roger that, Hawkeye, moving in," Natasha replied. She didn't even sound like herself anymore, Loki noticed. It was more focused, even a little rough. She gestured for him to follow and he nodded as he used as much energy as he could to place an invisibility spell over them. Taking the lead, she guided them toward a half-hidden backdoor.

….

Loki and Natasha wandered silently and confidently under through the white hallways of the base. They passed by a handful of agents, who remained oblivious to their presence thanks to Loki's spells. Natasha had been apprehensive about bringing Loki along, but now she had to admit she was glad for his assistance; Fury was right to assign Loki to this mission, she thought.

They entered into a hallway lined on either side with lab chambers, hidden behind thick metal doors. The goings-on inside them were visible only by the small, square glass window near the top of the door. Natasha tapped Loki gently on the shoulder, willing him to follow her with his protective spells. Loki was actually enjoying himself; it felt good to finally have something to do, to be free of the tower that had felt more like a prison the last few days, and be able to give his magic some much-needed exercise. It almost gave him the same rush of adrenaline and liberation he used to have when Thor would drag him along on their adventures so many lifetimes ago.

And he was awarded more time with Natasha, observing her utilizing her special skill set and seeing a side of her that, while he had known existed, impressed him nonetheless.

They observed each of the labs through widows until they came upon one with a glowing mass emitting a swirling ivory glow from the center of the room. Loki's breath caught in surprise – the light source came from a cube-shaped mass that indeed resembled the Tesseract, but a bit smaller. A mass of computer monitors and wires displayed a myriad of readings that Loki didn't understand. _**How in the name of Valhalla have these mortals managed to concoct such a device? **_Natasha looked just as surprised as he. She placed her hand on her earpiece and spoke: "Black Widow to Captain – we have located the energy source. First building, third floor, second corridor on the left. Lab 2A."

"Roger that, Black Widow, Stark and Banner are moving to your location now," Loki heard Steve's voice sounding through his own earpiece.

_**That was a simple enough task, **_Loki thought.

Not a minute later, however, the sound of footsteps brought their attention to three agents clad in dark blue approaching the door from the opposite end of the corridor. Natasha instinctively threw out her arm and pushed herself and Loki flat up against the wall on the other side of the door. They watched as the agents typed in the pass code and heard the door give a hydrolic _hiss_ as it slid away. The three agents approached the cube, one holding a long pair of tongs while the others carried what looked like a small metal treasure chest between them. Gingerly, the agent with the tongs picked up the cube and lowered it slowly into the chest. Their objective collected, the agents closed the lid and turned around, exited the room, and strode back down the corridor.

Natasha practically pounced off of the wall, nearly escaping the bubble of protection that concealed them as Loki followed suit. She touched her earpiece again. "Captain, delay my last. Agents have taken the power source and we're pursuing. Hold your position until we can tell you where they're taking this thing," she ordered. They took off after the agents, following a safe distance behind them as they weaved through more corridors and stairways. Loki kept silent the entire time, allowing Natasha to describe their path to Steve as they traveled while he put all of his focus on the silencing and invisibility spells around them.

As they pursued the agents across the bridge connecting to the second building, Clint's voice came suddenly from his earpiece, "Guys, the agents out here are starting to execute some kind of lockdown procedure – entrances and windows are being secured, it looks like they're headed to some kind of bunker on the north side of the premises," he spoke urgently. "We have four personnel headed toward the first floor entrance on the south wall. Something's about to happen here…"

Indeed, agents were scurrying around them to get into the buildings as they followed the agents through to the second building and down to the first floor. The agents carrying the cube stopped in front of a set of metal double doors, entered the pass code, and threw the doors open. Taking the opportunity to follow, Natasha grabbed Loki's wrist and pulled him quickly inside the doors behind the agents so close that Loki swore they had to have sensed their presence, and the doors closed again behind them.

"We're in some kind of gymnasium, first floor of the second building on the eastern most end of the corridor. It's the only set of metal double doors, pass code is '395245'," Natasha breathed into the earpiece as they slid sideways to watch against the adjacent wall.

In the center of the gym were seven agents working furiously around what appeared to be a human-like robot. Or was a person in a robotic suit? Loki couldn't tell. It looked like one of Tony's early Iron Man suits but much taller; it wasn't bulky but lithe and looked as if it would move agilely if it moved at all. It's expression looked angry and menacing, with eye slits that slanted downward and in toward the center of its face. In the center of its chest was a square shaped outlet. Cords and wires were hooked up to its head, shoulders, hands and feet as a couple of agents in white coats typed furiously on a keyboard. They watched as the agent with the tongs opened the chest that contained the cube and placed it within the hole in the robot's chest. The sound of electricity whirling up power filled the otherwise quiet room. Loki noticed that Natasha's grip on his wrist was tightening as they watched, hardly breathing, as its eyes lit up and glowed the same ivory glow as the cube.

"Loki, we need to take them out and stop that thing from being mobile," Natasha instructed. "Follow me."

With that, she burst forward from the protective spells and rushed toward the agents at full speed. She flicked her wrists toward the first agent and her widow bites flew from her hands, sending an intricate web of electricity around the nearest agent's legs and ankles to immobilize him. At a running pace she swung her leg up and clocked him right on the temple and he crumbled to the floor.

Loki lingered to admire her work from the wall for a moment before coming forward himself. She made close quarters combat look like an intricate masterpiece of art. Conjuring two green swirls of energy around his hands, he thrust them toward the nearest agent. His victim was thrown the length of the gym and slammed against the wall, knocking him unconscious. Another agent pulled a firearm from his side and fired a couple of shots in Natasha's direction, but instead of the bullets striking her she swerved her body around and moved one of the agents ahead of her to use as a human shield. Loki fluidly removed two of his knives and expertly flung them forward, taking out the agent with the firearm as well as another next to him. Now standing back to back, Natasha pulled her own firearm and shot twice to take down another agent while Loki threw two knifes straight into the chest of the remaining two, and their opponents fell to the floor unanimously.

Natasha reached around and patted Loki on the back between his shoulder blades. "Nice work, new guy," she jested. He waved his hand and his knives flew back to him and he placed them back into their sheaths.

In the minute or so that they had been fighting, neither of them acknowledged the robot booting up, it's whirling becoming more of a consistent hum as power surged through its body. It looked down on them now, its eyes glowing and before either of them could react it swung its leg out, mimicking Natasha's movement from only seconds ago and sending them both flying across the gym. They hit the wall together and fell to the ground, Natasha landing awkwardly atop of Loki, in a tangled heap.

The robot strode forward, tearing the wires off and sending sparks flying in the process. As they ungracefully untangled themselves the robot approached them and two massive balls of green light swirled around its wrists.

"What the fuck?" Natasha mumbled as she attempted to stand up. Loki quickly pulled her down and underneath him as the robot thrust the balls of energy toward them and in a split second, Loki slammed his palm flat against the ground and a light blue bubble expanded around them – a protective shield spell. The balls of energy were absorbed by its surface and dissipated. He breathed a sigh of relief.

Just then, the doors burst open and Clint came barreling through with his bow raised, an arrow in position. Natasha looked up just in time to see the arrow fly toward the robot's head. The robot turned to face Clint now, studying him in the split second before it caught the arrow in its hand. Loki let the shield spell fall and pulled Natasha to her feet, dragging her across the gym toward the door.

The robot studied the arrow. The three of them watched in awe as a bow, precisely identical to the one Clint held, formed out of thin air in the robot's free hand. As soon as it was fully formed the robot placed the arrow on the sting and shot it back at them; Clint barely managed to lunge out of the way before it would have pinned him against the wall. He dived into a rolling motion and leapt to his feet again, his eyes widened in shock.

"Shit!" Natasha breathed. "It's _copying_ us!"

"Well, that was just weird," Clint said calmly, though his face had gone pale. He looked at Natasha. "Assemble?"

Natasha nodded and she answered, "Assemble."

….

**A/N: Another chapter down. As always, thank you for the favorites, follows, and reviews. Please let me know what you think! Love it? Hate it? Completely indifferent…? **


	13. Chapter 13 A Tenebres, Lux

**A/N: Sorry for the longer delays in updates. I've decided that rather than attach myself to a schedule and give you all a boring chapter ("I have to post this by such-and-such a day!") I would rather take some time and actually give you something worth reading. Hopefully this chapter **_**is **_**worth reading. The last sections are another one of those "I've had this written since the beginning" scenes. And I've worked rather hard on them.**

**A Tenebres, Lux is Latin for "From the Darkness, Light"**

**From The Ashes**

**By Anna Morgan**

**Chapter 13 A Tenebres, Lux **

"Cap, we need the rest of the team in here!" Natasha shouted urgently into her earpiece. "Now!"

The robot conjured two more balls of green energy and thrust them toward Loki and Natasha. They both leapt out of the way just in time, Natasha going to the right, Loki to the left toward Clint.

Its eyes followed Natasha as she dived into a roll and leapt to her feet. There was a spiraling sound as its eyes glowed red-hot. She could feel the heat radiating from it on her face as she met its eyes before it happened – fire burst from its eyes, strait toward her, leaving a scorch mark on the ground beside her as she dived to avoid being broiled alive.

Loki was horrified. It reminded him so much of the Destroyer…

"Tasha, don't fight it!" Clint shouted. "We're going to need to attack it from behind or it'll keep replicating us!"

Loki moved forward with a knife in hand while the robot focused on Natasha. He thrust it forward with all his strength at the nape of the robot's neck. Rather than lodge itself in the metal body it ricocheted and clattered to the floor. Its armor was impenetrable...

"We must get the cube out of it or all our efforts will be in vain," Loki shook his head.

They could hear the sound of footsteps clamoring down the hall as the robot turned again on Natasha, this time bringing its leg around to kick her. It nearly struck her in the head before she leaned backward so her torso was parallel to the ground, and it flew over her head.

Out of nowhere a blast of light came from the doorway as Tony blasted the robot from his hand – the rest of the Avengers had arrived.

Clint was the one to meet them. "Don't do anything in front of it! It can copy our abilities!" Just then, the robot raised its hand and a blast of light emitted from it, just like Tony's Iron Man armor. Steve raised his shield and blocked the blast, looking stunned.

"Told you," Clint said simply as Steve and Tony looked the robot in awe. Clint filled him in on the situation as the robot continued to go after Natasha and Loki, luring it away from the rest of the team.

"We need to distract it," Steve said knowingly. "Clint, you go with Loki and Natasha. Try to get the cube out if you can, but we need to concentrate on immobilizing it and shutting it down," he directed. "The rest of us will try and stop it in any way we can."

That was easier said than done. Loki and Natasha were now taking turns distracting the robot, luring it away from one another for a few seconds at a time to give the other a chance to rest. Thor approached from behind it, swinging Mjolnir before he flew through the air and collided with the robot in the head, sending it crashing into the wall. Thor raised the hammer in the air to summon a blue string of lightning as the robot turned its head. The lightning flew from Mjolnir strait to the robot's chest, sending sparks showering to the ground and for a second it stopped. Everyone held their breath. But then the robot stood and, using the additional power from the lightning, raised its palm and shot a beam of energy from its hand as well as a blast of fire from its eyes, each more intense and powerful than they had been before.

Unfortunately for all involved, the beam of energy hit Bruce square in the chest.

Bruce flew backward, hitting the wall hard. Natasha's eyes widened. "Bruce…" She started to run toward him, but Loki grabbed her arm to stop her. Bruce was crouched down on the ground, his limbs and torso turning dark green as he blew up like a balloon, becoming the Hulk.

The green rage monster gave a deafening roar at the robot as it rose to its feet. The Hulk charged at it, roaring in anger as he sought revenge. He punched the robot with all his might sending it flying, once again, into the wall.

The robot rose to its feet again and it started to grow – not just taller, but bulkier as well. Its metal plates and hinges undid and rearranged themselves in a strange fashion as it morphed itself into a metal version of the Hulk, standing now at least fifteen feet, even taking on a slight green tint.

"Shit…" Tony breathed.

The robot shot its fist out at Tony, sending him flying across the room, but he used his thrusters to keep himself steady. The Hulk lunged at it, but it matched the monster's brute strength and the Hulk went crashing to the floor, caught off guard by meeting its match.

Loki broke himself from his trance brought on by the contraption's strange abilities and sprung back into action. He conjured a ball of red energy in his hand and threw it strait at the robot, temporarily halting it in place – the same spell Amora had used to capture him on Asgard. Using his magic to aid him, he leapt in the air, intent on grabbing the cube from the robot's chest, but he underestimated the energy required to still the robot. Before he could grab the cube, it broke free of the spell, swiping its mighty metal arm at Loki in midair.

With a swipe, the robot backhanded Loki with all of the Hulk's strength, sending him flying straight up to the ceiling, where he collided painfully with one of the last fluorescent bulbs illuminating the gym. The bulb shattered, depriving the room of light but for a single remaining light, as it sent glass raining down onto the others and a painful electric shock through Loki's body. Loki fell back down again to the robot's ready hand, poised as though it were holding a tennis racket and Loki was the ball. It swung its hand and Loki was flung hard. His head collided painfully with the concrete, hard enough to leave a sizable dent in the structure. Barely conscious and bleeding, Loki slumped onto the floor as a dust and blood covered mass.

Loki coughed and groaned as he forced himself to his hands and knees, the edges of his vision pulsating between reality and darkness as he felt bile rising in his throat. He could hear a woman's voice screaming his name and he looked up just long enough to see the robot grab hold of Natasha and fling her to the ground like a ragdoll.

An unexplainable rage flared in him. _**Look at you, **_he sneered at himself, _**broken and bleeding by a mere Midgardian contraption. You are weak, Loki…**_

He clumsily grabbed at the wall, feeling his way back to a standing position as he called his magic to give him the strength he needed to stay upright. He could feel its warmth pulsing through him as a single droplet of blood oozed from his forehead. He watched it splatter on the floor below him.

_**You have allowed yourself to fall to their level, to do their dirty work for them and allow yourself to be a tool for their plans, just as before with Odin, and with Thanos. And for **_**what**_**? **_He asked himself. _**Acceptance? Control? Or was it your desire for the affections of a Midgardian harlot…?! **_He scolded himself as he scanned the scene: Tony blasted the robot with his hand at the same time that Thor hit it square in the chest with Mjolnir, sending it stumbling backward as its eyes flared up once again. In its moment of disorientation, Natasha jumped to retrieve the cube from its chest, but its arm met her in midair and she fell back down to the ground again.

Images that he had blocked for so long overfilled his mind: memories from the void, of his shortcomings to his brother and father, the Other torturing him to near-insanity – all adding to his rage like gasoline thrown onto flames. _**No more of this. You are a **_**GOD. **_**You will end this now and be rid of them all. They have their information, you owe them nothing.**_

Something in him snapped then. His sanity was replaced by the insatiable need to unleash as much mayhem and destruction as he could possibly manage that he had repressed for so long. With a renewed resolve he gathered all of his strength and rose so he stood at his full height, his hands curled into tight fists at his side and his face contorted into a sinister growl. Malice and hatred flooded through him, even as alarm bells sounded off somewhere in the back of his mind trying to stop him from what he was about to do.

Determinedly, he stalked the length of the gym toward the fight. His pale skin disappeared and was replaced by a blue hue, spreading from his fingertips up to his neck and face as he grew several more inches taller than he already was. Round markings appeared on his skin as his blue eyes turned to dark crimson orbs shining through the darkness – his Jotun form and instincts, a literal demon within him, possessing his body and mind.

Thor was the first to notice him as he approached the robot from the darkness behind it. Loki grasped the robot at the back of its neck and with a snarl he turned and flung it back into the darkness that he came from, revealing himself to all of them, though he paid them no mind.

"Loki…?" Thor gasped in horror with an open mouth.

A huge ice claw formed around Loki's left hand as his adversary rounded on him again. With all the god-strength he possessed, he impaled the robot from the abdomen, earning a gratifying high-pitched mechanical wail from somewhere inside of it.

A wild, feral grin appeared on his face. With his free hand he used all of his energy, called upon all of his magic, to form a swirling cloud of dark blue and grey light around his hand. A blast of bitter cold wind erupted from it, forming a thick coating of ice around the robot, freezing it in place.

"Loki, that's enough, we need to go!" Natasha called to him.

Loki ignored her. The cold bitter wind, more cold even than the Russian winter surrounding them, continued to pour from his outstretched hand, creeping across the floor and up the walls, covering every inch of the room in a thick, dark coat of ice to match the one encasing the robot until he had turned the gym into a miniature frozen wasteland. It felt good – _so gratifying –_to demonstrate the extent of his powers that had lain dormant for too long. This was fulfilling, liberating, and he found that he just couldn't stop his freezing spell. He didn't _want_ to stop it.

"Brother, what are doing?!" Thor called to him. The Hulk roared behind them as it pounded the ground, trying in vain to break the sheet of ice that encircled the Avengers.

"Thor, he's going to kill us all!" Steve yelled. "Stop him!"

Before Steve could finish talking, Natasha had broken out into a sprint toward Loki. When she was close enough, she jumped into the air, swinging her leg around so that it caught him in the stomach. He leaned forward slightly from the blow, winded but unharmed as the spell continued to flow from him. Using his arm as leverage, she grabbed his forearm and swung upward, preparing to execute her signature scissor throw but before she was off the ground he had blocked her. In one fluid motion he removed his claw from the still-frozen robot, and swiped the sharp tip across her side, creating a deep gash at her waist.

Natasha yelped as the claw dragged across her body, tearing through her flesh and muscle and she collapsed onto her knees and elbows, clutching her side. She could feel her own warm blood spilling over her cold body as pain shot through her. As the sound of her screaming pierced his ears, Loki's sanity broke through the barrier built by his Jotun form and snapped him back to the reality of what he had done, bringing him back to his senses. His eyes met hers, laced with shock and pure terror.

"Natasha…!" he gasped as his mind panicked with the realization of what he had done.

Mjolnir collided with the side of his head and knocked him several feet to the side and abruptly ended the spell. Loki groaned again at the massive headache he now had. Thor grabbed him roughly by the collar and hoisted him up as his skin returned to its normal pale complexion and his Asgardian appearance restored itself.

"What have you done?!" Thor shook him violently. Loki couldn't speak – he was horrified at what his Jotun form had done, what _he _had done. Before he could answer, Thor was practically dragging him across the gym. Clint rushed forward and wrapped his arms around Natasha to help her up; cradling her and trying not slip on the icy floors. Her hand was flat against her open wound, trying to stop the bleeding.

The entire team rushed toward the exit, but the Hulk threw its fist into the wall, sending debris and ice flying into the night and creating a hole big enough for them all to exit through. They climbed through, first Steve and Tony, then Clint with Natasha, then Thor dragging Loki, and the Hulk bringing up the rear. They ran all the way back to the jet, dodging and weaving between the trees in the darkness.

Loki's head was swimming in a sea of panic and unanswerable questions. Was she alright? Why had he done that? What had happened to make him lose himself like that? What was going to happen to _him _now? They paused at the jet for only a minute or so as the Hulk shrunk down back to Bruce. While he transformed, Thor dragged Loki inside and thrust him angrily down onto the ground so he was on his back and placed Mjolnir atop his stomach.

"Thor I swear to you I did not mean to harm her I do not know what – " he stammered.

But Thor wasn't listening. Instead he turned and made his way across the jet, which was now taking off, to gather around the bench that Natasha lay on. She was laying flat, her head in his direction and Loki could make out her red curls dangling over the side. He could hear her voice, and he felt relived. At least she was alive. Loki watched as Clint sterilized a needle as Bruce cleaned her wound, which apparently was not as bad as it had appeared to be. He noted that Clint was covered in a light layer of her blood.

Not for the first time, Natasha thanked the Red Room silently for making her their lab rat; her body healed much quicker than any normal person's would, and by the time Bruce had cleaned the blood from the side, the bleeding had pretty much stopped.

Natasha watched as Clint inserted the needle and began to stitch her back together. She made a noise to indicate pain and discomfort and to his surprise (and almost everyone else's as well) it was Bruce that made to comfort her, intertwined his fingers with hers to give her something to grasp onto and squeeze with the pain, and placed his other hand atop her head gingerly.

The Avengers spoke in hushed whispers and quieted voices for much of the way back to headquarters. Once in a while he would feel an angry look being thrown in his direction, though no one spoke to him directly. He knew that they were talking about him, and in all probability what they were going to do to him. Loki could hear Natasha's hushed voice arguing vehemently with Steve, though he couldn't hear what she was saying. _**Gods, she cannot still be advocating on my behalf could she? **_Loki wondered. Thor and Tony seemed to have joined in on her side as Clint and Steve restrained from physically attacking anyone. Poor Bruce was on the side, unsure of who to side with.

Loki felt sick. His insides churned with guilt and shame and self-loathing. He wished they wouldn't defend him; he didn't deserve their mercy. He didn't deserve _her _mercy. He found that he no longer cared what happened to himself, whether they sent him back to Asgard, or handed him to the Chitauri. He would deserve no less after what he had done.

When the small-scale surgery was finished and Natasha was able to sit up again, Thor came back over to Loki, removed Mjolnir, and lifted him by his shoulder. He placed Loki down on the bench and sat quietly next to him as he strapped himself in. He wasn't being cold or distant, but Loki could still feel some apprehension. He didn't know what to say to his brother now, so he said nothing. Everyone else had taken seats around Natasha's bench, far away from the two Asgardians and they remained there, as the debate went back and forth for the remainder of the journey home.

….

The journey through the halls of SHIELD was a blur to him that he would never really remember. He glided along the hallways, Thor's hand on his shoulder guiding him, like a ghost – completely unfeeling and numb, only a shadow of a man. Fury was waiting in the same briefing room that they had occupied the day before, and if he noticed Natasha's injury he didn't say anything about it, but went on with his debriefing. Steve and Thor stood rather than sit down at the rounded table with Clint, Natasha, Bruce, and Tony. Loki did not sit at the table, but instead he leaned into a corner, his arms folded over his chest and looking down at the ground. Steve recounted the night's events, though once in a while Clint and Natasha would add bits and pieces from their perspectives.

Much to his surprise, no one informed Fury the extent of the damage Loki did to the robot, nor did they inform him of exactly _how _Natasha obtained her injury.

When Fury as satisfied, he dismissed them. One by one, the others filed from the room. All except Natasha.

Loki continued to slouch in the corner, his arms crossed over his chest, looking down at the floor. He didn't look up even as she approached him.

"Loki," she practically demanded his attention. He raised his eyes to acknowledge her and lowered them again. "Agent Romanoff."

_**So we're back to this again**_, she thought. "You want to tell me what happened back there?"

He laughed darkly. "As though you do not know," he replied curtly.

"Look, you had a relapse. I know that wasn't really you back there – "She kept her tone flat as she spoke, but Loki cut her off.

"Was it not?" he challenged. Finally he looked up at her and dropped his arms. "You have seen what I am. You have seen the monster that dwells within. _That _is _me," _he growled.

"You aren't a monster unless you choose to be," she said determinedly.

"I have no choice in the matter. That I have proved today," he glared at her now. He wanted so desperately to believe her but how could he?

She took a step toward him, "You're wrong, Loki," she said. "You do have a choice. You can choose another path; you don't have to keep going like this."

"Damn it, are you so blind?!" His voice raised now to match his flaring temper. "I could have killed you, all of you! I _would_ have done! You stand there and preach on about choices and being able to choose what 'path' you would take but it is not so simple! You cannot choose to stop being what you _are, _nothing can change that!"

She had enough. If this was the only way to do this, then so be it.

"Fine," she stated. She strode determinedly over to him and swiped one of his knives before he could register her movements. Grabbing him roughly by the wrist, she thrust the knife into his hand and brought it to her chest, the sharp tip directly over her heart.

"If you're such a monster then why don't you prove it? Kill me now," she charged.

Loki thought his heart had just stopped. Was she really serious? Her fierce expression and firm grip on his wrist said so. "You know not what you are dealing with, woman," he growled lowly.

_**Do it**_, said the dark voice in his mind. _**Kill her,**_ _**meet her challenge. She is but a mere mortal playing with fire!**_

_**You do not want to do this, you've come so far, do not do this to yourself! You care for her…**_

"Do I not?" she asked quietly. "Go ahead. Prove it."

Their silent war had begun. The entire universe, both of their worlds came to a violent and screeching halt; everything in the Nine Realms centered there, on that moment. They held their silent battle: she an unstoppable force against him, an immovable object.

Suddenly the battle was interrupted. Tony stuck his head in the door, closely followed by Bruce, Steve, Clint and then Thor.

"Hey Natasha, Loki are you co – "he stopped in mid-sentence. Neither Natasha nor Loki even acknowledged his presence, standing still as stone statures as Tony gaped at the scene in shock. "What the _hell?!" _

"Natasha!" Clint's eyes widened in panic.

Steve stepped forward ahead of the rest. "Loki drop the knife and back away," he ordered.

Clint pulled his gun from his holster and pointed it at Loki as he urgently made his way forward. Natasha turned her focus sharply to him.

"это момент, когда мы говорили. Получить другими отсюда!" _This is the moment we spoke of. Get the others out of here!_ she commanded to him. Her voice was a low and husky, menacing and commanding in a way that only a native Russian would be able to deliver.

Clint stopped dead in his tracks. He lowered his weapon and swallowed hard. Her eyes were glaring and angry in a way he hadn't seen since he brought her in. "Guys," he choked. "We need to leave them alone," he backed away.

"No way!" Tony exclaimed. "We're not leaving her in this!"

Natasha's focus turned back to their battle, ignoring everything else. "Prove it." She challenged again.

Loki's hand began to tremble.

_**Kill her! Or are you so weak you cannot eliminate a common harlot?**_

_**You care for her. You are not this monster.**_

"Loki!" Thor roared. "This is madness!"

"Drop the knife and back away!" Steve repeated.

"Loki don't make the Other Guy end this," Bruce growled.

"Prove it." Natasha repeated again, this time more urgently.

"We need to trust her and leave them alone!"

Loki's hand was trembling almost uncontrollably now. His face had gone pale and his heart galloped painfully as the battle raged within him.

_**You must kill her! **_

_**You are not this monster!**_

_**She is nothing!**_

_**She is your friend!**_

_**This is what you are, what you were born to be!**_

_**This is not the path you are meant to take!**_

He pressed the blade into her skin just far enough to draw a droplet of blood. She didn't even flinch.

"Prove it."

"Loki stop this madness!" Thor commanded.

"We need to leave them alone!"

"Prove it!"

"I'm warning you, the Other Guy _will _stop this!"

"Damn it, Loki, drop the knife!"

"PROVE IT!"

_**KILL HER!**_

_**NO!**_

Loki opened his hand and let the knife clatter to the floor. The battle was over. The _war _was over. She had won. His breath was ragged and forced as he slowly backed away, never taking his eyes away from hers, the victor's. His ankles collided with the steps and he sank down to his knees before her.

Natasha turned toward her teammates, her eyes looking as though they may spit fire just as the robot had.

"Get out!" she shouted. "All of you! Or I'll remove you myself!"

That was it; they didn't need any more convincing. Clint turned Steve around by his shoulders and practically shoved him from the room. He had heard that tone from her before, and he knew how serious she was about that threat. Even Thor, the future king of an entire race of gods, heeded her command. Clint shooed them all out. As he left, he glanced over his shoulder to meet Natasha's intense glare before exiting himself, closing the door behind them.

Natasha turned back toward Loki, who was still staring ahead, breathing hard as though he had run the distance from Asgard to Midgard. She suspected the others were listening behind the door, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was the shattered god kneeling before her.

She kneeled down in front of him, her knees between his so they were face to face. "Loki," she said softly, kindly, her voice possessing none of the fierceness but all of the authority. He raised his eyes so they locked on hers as she cupped his face between her hands.

"You are _not _a monster," she asserted. "Listen to me: it's _who_ you are that defines you, not _what _you are. That's _your _choice," she said.

"I know what you're fighting. I know that there's part of you that won't believe me. I know you're fighting through a very dark place right now because I've been there too," she continued. "You know what the path you're on right now leads to," she said knowingly. "If you let me, I can lead you out, show you the light. I can show you another path, and you can choose which one you want to follow."

Loki stared, listening intently. Even as part of him tried to protest her words the rest of him silenced it's words. She was right – about everything. He was tired of this. He was tired of fighting: everything in the universe against himself. He didn't want to do that alone. _**You don't have to…**_

All of his sentiments and doubts and fears that composed his hard façade came crashing down, shattering into a thousand pieces. And finally, _finally, _he believed her.

"Then you lead the way," he whispered.

He raised his arm and placed it on her shoulder in the same companionable manner he did to Thor, recognizing her as his equal. Rather than return it, she pulled him to her and wrapped him in a tight embrace so his head was buried in the crook of her neck and his arms wrapped around her waist as relief flowed through her.

….

Outside of the room, the scene was almost comical as five grown men crowded around a rectangular screen held in Tony's hand, hardly bigger than a cell phone, which displayed the scene inside. They watched as she approached him, knelt down, and took his face in her hands. They listened to her words, almost as intently as Loki had listened. As she embraced him, there was a collective sigh of relief from all of them.

"I'll be goddamned," Tony breathed. "She tamed the beast."

"You will NOT refer to my brother in such a despicable manner!" Thor nearly yelled. Steve shushed him.

Clint just shook his head in disbelief. _**Damn, she was good….**_

"So…he stays, right?" Bruce asked, almost child-like.

Steve nodded. "He can stay."

….

**A/N: Just a few notes here: First, I just want to say that Natasha is absolutely a queen and probably my favorite one of the Avengers. She is awesome. And I love her for it. **

**Second, for those wondering when the **_**real **_**plot with Thanos is going to come in, your chariot will arrive next chapter. Stay tuned : )**

**Third…and I hope this doesn't come as a shock… from the very beginning I wanted this to be LOKI'S story… I wanted to be able to dive into his psyche and evaluate the question of whether he could be redeemed and save himself from the demons that plague him. Although his relationship with Natasha will play a significant role in his life, this is first and foremost HIS tale, and I wanted to evaluate him to a significant level before going into any possible romance with Natasha. I hope I've managed to do his delightfully complex character some justice. **

**As always, a VERY sincere thank you to you all for the favorites, follows, and reviews. Or even just reading along. Please let me know what you think on this one. I promise I don't bite. I even answer questions as long as it's not some variant of "What happens next?" : )**


	14. Chapter 14The Saint That Plays The Devil

**From The Ashes**

**By Anna Morgan**

**Chapter 14 The Saint That Plays the Devil**

Unfathomable Devastation.

Chaos.

Helplessness.

Loss.

_Death. _

These things were all that remained of the realm of Alfheim.

The Mad Titan himself strode triumphantly through the shattered and smoldering remains of the once glorious realm of the Light Elves. Beautiful crystal temples and structures that once symbolized the realm's prosperity and majesty lay in melted, crumpled ruins beneath his feet.

A wide grin spread over his face as he passed the bloodied remains of a fair-haired woman clinging to a bloodied mass of flesh and blankets that was once her child. A beautiful sacrifice to his beautiful mistress…

Thanos focused his attention ahead of him to the remains of the palace. The Other, along with a handful of Chitauri foot soldiers, marched along the path to report to their master.

"My Lord," the Other hissed, "We have searched every crevice within this world. The gem is nowhere to be found."

The grin on Thanos' face disappeared to be replaced with a frown. "You mean to tell me that it is not present here?"

"N-No my Lord. The whereabouts of the gem remain unknown to us." The Other's voice quivered.

Thanos let out a frustrated roar. He grasped the Other around the neck and lifted him into the air and with much anger he slammed him down hard. The ground trembled from the force of his anger, and the Chitauri soldiers cowered in fear.

The Other rose, groaning on the way up so that he stood before the seething angry Titan. Thanos turned away from the Other and clenched his fists. "I cannot wield the full power of the Gauntlet without the final gem," Thanos growled. "Without it, the full extent of the Infinity Gems and the Gauntlet remain closed to me, and ensure failure of the campaign I have so honorably been entrusted with."

"The Asgardian claimed the gem was sent away from Midgard," The Other finally found his voice. "It rests not in Asgard nor with the Elves, the most likely of its protectors. He _lies_, master," he hissed.

Thanos raised his left arm to examine the precious golden Gauntlet that he wore over his closed fist. He knew the Other's words were true…

"I was a fool to accept the word of the God of Lies," Thanos growled angrily. He turned around quickly to face the Other again. "Prepare the forces. We will go to Midgard," he commanded.

The Other grinned sinisterly. "Yes, my master."

….

The picture of the setting sun's rays fanning over the Manhattan winter sky was a beautiful sight indeed. On the top floor of the Avengers tower, a tall, dark God of Mischief stood at the panoramic window to admire it in complete solitude.

Loki had been left alone on Thor's floor of the tower for last few days – since the robot incident – and he preferred it that way. All that he knew, or that he thought he knew, about himself had been turned on its head and frankly he just needed time to untangle the knot of thoughts and emotions that ensnared him since then. Thankfully, the Avengers seemed content to allow him his space. And so there he was staring out over the Manhattan skyline, admiring the view although most of his thoughts had turned inward.

He placed his hand flat on the cold glass window. For a moment he paused. He drew in a deep breath and he willed his Jotun form to come forward. A cold, tingling sensation crept from his fingertips, crawling up his arms to his face and torso as his skin turned blue. He watched his reflection in the glass as his eyes turned deep red. The monster that looked back at him frightened him; he loathed what he was, feared it, and was disgusted by it. But he acknowledged it was a part of him, and (much as he detested it) it was time he came to terms with that.

_**It's who you are that defines you, not what you are. That's your choice…**_

Loki sighed and placed his hand back at his side, causing his Jotun form to retreat back within himself. He felt especially akin to Bruce at that moment as he watched his skin turn to its usual pale complexion: the only difference in their inner monster was their color it seemed.

He suddenly felt the urge to leave the confines of Thor's floor, if only to escape the perpetual prison that he had created for himself. Perhaps he would find Natasha – he hadn't actually apologized properly to her for injuring her. He recomposed himself and then disappeared in a flash of golden light.

….

"You sure you don't wanna tag along, your highness?"

"_Yes, Tony, and stop fucking calling me that before I shoot you!" _

Tony flashed a self-satisfied grin into the phone and gave a hopeful glance to Pepper before she elbowed her husband in the ribs. Bruce shot his science bro a disapproving look as an unexpected flash of gold light brought everyone's attention to the room's newest occupant.

"Well, look who decided to come out of his cave," Tony joked as Loki reformed himself before them. Loki snarled at this reference to his punishment on Asgard and resisted the urge to freeze him in place.

"Nice to see you out, Loki," Pepper smiled at him. Loki liked her; she was kind, and much less snarky than Tony. Suddenly feeling up to a bit of vengeance, he strode forward and gently grabbed Pepper's hand, giving it a chaste kiss. "And you Missis Stark," he grinned. He felt satisfied with the way Tony frowned at him as Pepper blushed a little at his gesture. Tony snatched her hand possessively from Loki's grasp and shot him a dirty look.

"You wanna come along?" Bruce said brightly. "We're celebrating!"

Loki cocked his head to the side, confused. "And what precisely have you to celebrate?"

Tony looked at him as if the answer were obvious. "Uh, your brother's engagement!"

Loki felt like someone had punched him in the gut. "What?" he said open-mouthed.

"Yeah, you're getting a sister-in-law, Rudolph," Tony said. "Didn't Thor tell you?"

He didn't. Loki was hurt. And a little pissed off. _**Thor is to be married? Why did he keep this from me…? **_he thought angrily.

"When did Thor become engaged?" he asked, still looking shocked.

Bruce answered him, "He told us a few days ago, just after we got back from the mission," he said cautiously. "Sorry, Loki, we figured he told you."

Loki processed this for a moment. "To the mortal woman?"

"Yeah, Jane."

He temporarily pushed his anger aside and focused on what he needed to do then. "Do you know where I might find Agent Romanoff this evening?" he changed his ton to more business-like than hurt.

"Her _Imperial Highness_ has decided that she's going to be anti-social…too good to hang around commoners like us…"

"She's on her floor," Pepper cut Ton off and gave him a disapproving look.

"Thank you," Loki replied.

Pepper, being much more intuitive than the men, sensed his unsaid distress and mercifully urged a move-on. "We'd better get going or the crowds are gonna be terrible," she said hurriedly. "You're welcome to join, Loki."

"No, but I thank you kindly for your consideration."

They bade him goodnight as the three of them left, being shooed out by Pepper. Loki stood for a second, brooding as feelings ranging from shock to betrayal to hurt swirled through his blood.

Loki shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed. Thor had left for Asgard the previous night so he could not confront him now, as much as he wished to do so. Deciding he would deal with Thor when he returned, Loki rounded the counter and made his way toward the kitchen

He turned on the water, filled a kettle, did some clanking, and shuffled through cabinets until he found what he was looking for. A few minutes later, Loki reemerged from the kitchen, cautiously cradling a steaming cup of raspberry tea with a lemon slice on the edge as though it were an extremely fragile object. He took a moment to admire how pretty it looked before teleporting away.

….

Natasha heard a soft knock on her bedroom door, snapping her attention from the unfinished SHIELD report that sat open on her laptop in front of her. She stood from her desk and answered the door to find Loki, cradling a steaming cup in his hands.

"Loki!" She wasn't sure who she was expecting, but Loki wasn't at the top of the list. She cocked her head to the side with curiosity. "What's that?" her eyes rested on the cup in his hand. The alluring aroma that wafted to her couldn't be mistaken for anything but her raspberry tea.

"An olive branch," he said almost shyly. "I… wish to formally apologize to you." His eyes flickered to her side where he knew the injury he had caused lay wrapped beneath many layers of bandages and gauze (_**Thank you, Doctor Banner…**_he thought). "I hope that you are healing well."

Natasha was shocked but truly touched at his offering. "I am, and thank you," she smiled appreciatively. "Do you want to come in?"

Loki's heart soared; finally he had done something right in regards to her. He stepped into the room and looked around for a place to set the cup and decided that a space on the desk, beside an open book and the largest bottle of Russian vodka that he had ever seen, was entirely appropriate.

"How did you find my secret stash of tea?" Natasha asked incredulously.

Loki grinned smugly. " 'But that I am forbid, To tell the secrets of my prison-house, I could a tale unfold,' " he quoted simply.

She rolled her eyes playfully and smiled, "Fine then, keep your secrets."

She turned away from him and made her way back to her desk. It was as she sunk back down into the chair that Loki acknowledged the dark circles forming in the corners and beneath her eyes that only came from lack of rest. The dim light on her face illuminated the contrasting shadows beneath her eyes and made her beautiful face look as though she were a hundred years old.

His grin melted away and his voice suddenly became more concerned. "You have not slept well," he stated.

She shrugged as she picked up her tea and gratefully took a sip. "No," she admitted. Her voice was flat and more tired than her light-hearted tone from only a moment ago. "It's not because of what happened in Russia," she added seeing the guilty look on his face. "Just… things from the past revisiting."

Loki understood; he was all too familiar with those.

He closed the door behind him and made his way to sit on the edge of her neatly-made bed. "Do you wish to speak of it?" he asked lowly.

Natasha looked incredulously at him. First bringing her tea and now offering to be her psychologist?

She sighed. "Sao Paulo," she said simply. Loki just looked at her, waiting patiently for her to continue. "Do you know what happened there?" she asked after a moment of silence.

Loki shook his head. "No. I was… spared the details." A small twinge of guilt panged through him at the indirect reference to what he had done to Clint.

"Well," she looked down at the ground as she spoke. "They took my… my papa. The man who took care of me after the fire that killed my family." Her voice was low. "I was promised by the Soviets that he would be well taken care of and unharmed as long as I continued to do my job well." She drew in a shaky breath before she continued. "I went to check on him one day and found his house ransacked and trashed. He was… kidnapped by a weapons dealer that I had brought down not too long before then, who sought revenge on me. They took the only thing in the world that really meant anything to me."

Loki noticed her tired eyes tearing up slightly now. "They took him to Sao Paulo; beat him, tortured him, all for the sake of luring me in. When I finally brought him back to Russia, he was hurt very badly. I knew he would never be able to live peacefully, never know what it's like not to be hunted, so," She swallowed hard, the words struggling to form on her lips. "So I killed him."

She dipped her head if possible even lower as guilt threatened to break down the dam that held back the river of tears in her eyes.

Loki looked on her helplessly. _**So she killed her father as well….**_ He wanted to reach out to her in any way he could to mend the shattered pieces of her soul that she had just bared to him. He took a deep breath and waved his hand around; the chair spun on its own accord and her head jerked up as Loki pulled the chair within arm's reach of his seat on the edge of her bed. Clasping her hands lightly between his own, he spoke the only comforting words he could think to say. His own blazing blue eyes gazed fixedly to her sea green ones as deeply as he could manage.

"You did what was best for your father," he soothed her. "You have naught to be ashamed of."

Their gaze held for a few fleeting seconds before Natasha sighed. "I wish I could believe that," she breathed as he gently withdrew her hands from his hold. Loki mourned the loss of her warmth and the emptiness that now filled the gap between them and tried hard to mask his disappointment.

"You recall that Thor was banished by the Allfather?" he asked. She nodded. "Did he tell you that the fault was mine?" She still didn't speak but looked at him curiously as though he spoke in another language entirely.

Loki sighed. "You have trusted me," he said. "It would be terrible manners if I did not return the gesture." He took another deep breath and then began to speak freely. "I wished to prove my worth as a son of Odin. I was constantly in the shadow of my brother's greatness and I finally had the opportunity to break free of it. My…antics led my brother to march into Jotunheim, seeking battle against the frost giants for ruining his coronation, unaware of my connection to them at the time. For bringing us to the brink of war as a result of that day, he was banished, declared unworthy of his title and powers."

"It was that day I learned of my true parentage from Odin, and though I knew what I was I was desperate to prove that Asgard and Odin were first in my heart over Jotunheim, even if not by blood, and so I traveled to Jotunheim on my own, sought an audience with my biological father, Laufey, the ruler of the frost giants. I lured them to Asgard and into Odin's bedchambers. As Laufey prepared to slay the Allfather, I took his life," he paused at the look in Natasha's eyes, curiosity being replaced by understanding, laced with a hint of sympathy. "All of this done in the name of the Allfather, and of Asgard. But all in vain."

He saw himself clearly in his mind's eye, dangling from the end of the spear, saw the shame in Odin's eyes:

_**I could have done it, Father! For you! For all of us!**_

_**No, Loki…**_

"For the bastard son of a frost giant could never be seen as anything more than that. Rather than return I did them perhaps the biggest favor I had ever done for anyone, and allowed myself to fall into the void."

And he felt again the final shattering of his own already-cracked soul.

Loki finished his story. The air of understanding and a certain level of camaraderie in light of this new common element between them was almost tangible. Loki gave a wry smile. "You see: it seems we are very much alike."

Natasha shook her head and gave a sad, oblique smile. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make the night all depressing." She stood up, reached for the bottle of vodka sitting on the desk and pulled out a couple of shot glasses from one of the drawers. "I'm glad you finally came out though, we were starting to worry about you," she said a bit more brightly as she poured the two shots. She turned back around and offered one of the glasses to Loki, which he gratefully accepted as he attempted to smile back.

"My brother is engaged," Loki suddenly remembered.

"So I heard."

"He did not inform me. I had to find out from Stark…" he said with an undertone of bitterness as he expertly took the shot of vodka in his hand (_**Impressive… **_Natasha thought). He felt it burn and gnaw at his throat as he swallowed hard. _"_He used to tell me everything."

Shooting for an upturn in the mood, Natasha took the opportunity for a change of subject. "What was it like, growing up with Thor?" It was Loki's turn to look curiously at her. "Was he always so…?" she trailed as she searched hard for an appropriate term to use.

"Ostentatious? Barbaric? Loud, with ghastly table manners and all the combined intelligence of a herd of _bilgesnipe? Yes. Yes he was." Loki finished for her. _

_At that, Natasha laughed; genuinely laughed. Loki laughed too as his heart swelled again to see her smiling and knowing he had caused it. The negativity that filled the room before slowly started to dissipate._

"I was trying to say that a bit more politely."

"I do not believe that would be possible."

There was more soft laughing as Loki used his magic to summoned the bottle of vodka from across the room and poured them both another shot.

….

Several embarrassing stories about Thor and a tall bottle of vodka later, the mood had definitely lightened significantly. Loki couldn't remember the last time he had laughed as he shared fond memories of his childhood. In fact, he didn't think he _ever_ had. Natasha proved to be a good audience, laughing along with him at all the right times. Now, her cheeks were spotted with pink, courtesy of the alcohol and laughter that had ensured, and her eyes shined more brightly than he had ever seen before.

"…so he became flustered at the fact that he could not lift but a single paw of this tiny cat. Eventually he grew frustrated and gave up, and being the fool he was then, he declared that he would wrestle any opponent that would have him to prove his strength. Well, the smallest, most elderly and frail-looking woman stepped up to meet his challenge, and not only did she throw the cat out of her way, she had Thor pinned in the dirt within a moment. You never saw anything more gratifying than a dirty old woman pinning down the mighty God of Thunder as though he were but a child."

This earned him more giggling from Natasha. _**Gods, she is adorable when she makes that sound…**_

"How did you get out of that one?" she asked earnestly.

"In the lieu of his shameful defeat, he insulted a hundred warriors around him and they angrily pursued us all the way back to the border of Nordheim. I veiled us in smoke to ease our escape to the bifrost."

This earned him another genuine smile from her. "It seems like you're always having to 'save the day' for him," she teased.

"Indeed it does," he smiled back.

Natasha sighed contently. "Asgard sounds lovely. You know, Stark has been," Loki only looked mildly surprised at this. "He went with Thor to help rebuild. It seems like a nice place to grow up. Not like the Red Room…" she added, her voice a bit sad.

A brilliant idea struck him and a light bulb switched on somewhere in his mind. "Would you like to see it?" Loki asked suddenly, brightly. Natasha looked confused at him again.

Loki stood up abruptly. "Come," he grabbed her hands giddily in his as she looked at him curiously.

Excitedly he led her to the panoramic window that lined an entire wall of her bedroom. Her steps were not as graceful or deliberate as they normally were, he noticed, courtesy of the vodka. He placed his hands gently on her shoulders and a shiver ran down her spine. "Stand there," he ordered as he centered her on the window. She was so close to the window now that her face nearly touched the cold glass.

"Loki, what…?"

"Just trust me," he said. "Close your eyes, and do not open them until I say. Do you understand?" Natasha nodded.

She shut her eyes as he told her to and stood waiting patiently. The air around her felt full of electricity and an energy that she couldn't quite name or explain but it gave her goose bumps and she felt herself shiver ever so slightly again.

Loki conjured as much energy as he could and moved his hands as a painter would on a blank canvas, creating a masterpiece - such a stunning illusion that he impressed even himself. The energy rushed through him wildly and he welcomed its warm intensity, finally able to use the extent of his talents for something other than destruction.

"Alright, open them."

Natasha gasped out loud.

The beautiful night scene of Asgard graced her sight. Hundreds and hundreds of stars shimmered and glowed across the sky, with bright colored galaxies every so often making an appearance among the unfamiliar constellations. All around her were tall golden structures, statues, and buildings adorned with yellow, white, and rose colored lights, all decorated with intricate Celtic-style designs and patterns. Lush gardens sprinkled the ground here and there with flowers and plants she didn't recognize. She could see the waters of a vast, black velvet sea in the distance, even hear the lapping waves, and feel a warm breeze on her face.

She could barely breathe as the beauty of it all nearly choked her.

"Oh my…_God _Loki…." She gasped.

"Beautiful, is it not?" Loki asked. He placed his hands contently on her shoulders.

Natasha couldn't speak – she was too busy scanning the scene around her with child-like wonder. So intricate were details that she swore Loki had somehow teleported them there, and that this was no illusion.

"This is my view from my bedchambers," Loki explained fondly.

"That is _gorgeous," _she breathed. "How did you _do _that?"

Loki smiled smuggle. "_Master _of magic," he said as though the answer were obvious. "I am proud to say that I have earned that title."

_**I'll say…**_Natasha didn't respond but continued to stare out, open-mouthed, at the scene in front of her. Loki, for his part, felt rather proud of himself, vowing to make more of these illusions for her in the future if she would allow.

Her eyes flicked downward to see the image of the strangest looking animal she had ever seen. "Is that a… horse?"

"Yes," Loki said proudly.

"It has _eight legs!"_

"_His_ name is Sleipnir," he corrected her, offended.

"Is that your 'noble steed' then?" she teased.

Loki flashed his signature mischievous grin. "….You might say that."

After a time that seemed both too long and not long enough, Natasha turned around to face the man responsible for the beautiful masterpiece of an illusion. He was barely inches from her, she nearly collided with his chest as she turned; his hands remained in their place on the outside of her shoulders. "Thank you," she said. It was simple and heartfelt, and it made Loki nearly sing with pleasure.

"You are most welcome."

"You know," she said gently, "you're sweet, Loki." He looked disbelievingly at her. "Really, getting Thor out of trouble, and the way Thor talks about you, and how you've been since you've been here… I really do think you're a good person underneath it all."

He laughed wryly. "That is the alcohol's words I believe."

"No really, I mean it, you are."

" 'And thus I clothe my naked villainy with odd old ends, stol'n out of holy writ and seem a saint when most I play the devil'," he quoted.

"Stop quoting Shakespeare I'm being serious!"

"As am I."

"Just accept the damn compliment," she said. "Worse than any woman, I swear…" she muttered lightheartedly under her breath. Loki smiled sadly, and then his face became more solemn.

"In truth, I am not a virtuous being at all," he spoke slowly. "It goes against my very nature. I have too much on my conscience, too much blood on my hands."

" 'There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so,' " Natasha quoted cleverly as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Loki didn't feel like arguing with her. "Well, played, woman," he said, "but I remain steadfast," he refused to concede and grant her the victory she sought.

Natasha grinned as she hit him in the side jokingly. "You're so stubborn."

He pinned her wrist to her side in retaliation, using his superior strength to stop her moving as she struggled against him. "And you are audacious, woman."

Subconsciously, almost without realizing he was doing so, he leaned down as he spoke. When he realized how close he was to her he froze. Her eyes shined expectantly up at him, and he knew what she wanted and, he realized, what _he _wanted as well. The aroma of her rose-scented shampoo mixed with the sharpness of the vodka overwhelmed his senses. Her full lips were enticing and tempting him and his nerves sang so that he nearly gave in.

Natasha raised her free hand, placed it gently on his cheek, and moved forward to close the gap between them. But before she could do so, Loki raised his hand and placed his fingertips on her mouth.

"You, Miss Romanoff, have had too much to drink, I believe," he said gently, even as every fiber of his being fumed and screamed at him angrily for ruining what would have been a perfect moment. "I am not one to take advantage. If, in the morning, you still wish this, I will be glad to acquiesce. But for now, you need rest, I think."

Natasha looked very put out as she nodded, almost embarrassed, lowering her eyes to the ground.

Loki took her hand, led her to her bed and sat her down, damning and cursing his conscience as he did so. The stunning illusion behind them stayed in place. When she was seated he brought her hand up, looking deeply into her eyes, and placed a heartfelt kiss on it. "Goodnight, Natasha," he said softly.

" 'Night Loki," she barely managed to reply before he teleported away.

….

**A/N: There you are, another chapter. The title of the chapter, The Saint That Plays the Devil, is significant because it is representative of three things: **

**Thanos, the bad guy (or the Devil) who is destroying the universe as a token of his love and devotion to the woman Death – he sees himself a Saint because he does what he does out of love (demented though it may be); **

**Loki, who is of course still the God of Mischief and sees himself to be a "bad" person (a Devil) even though his good side is kind of prevailing now (he's being a Saint);**

**and Asgard. Asgard,(a heavenly place, the Saint) both the real place and the illusion that Loki creates, is something beautiful that, to Loki, represents something that was a lie (an Illusion if you will – see what I did there?) because he always felt different and out of place and he sees it now as only a place that rejected him (as a Devil). That is my feeble attempt at symbolism. But I am proud of it. So there you are. **

**Anyway, another chapter down for you. As always, thank you for the favorites, follows, and reviews. Reviews are a much valued and appreciated thing : )**


	15. Chapter 15 From A Duet To A Trio

**From The Ashes**

**By Anna Morgan**

**Chapter 15 From a Duet to a Trio**

"This is dangerous and I will NOT let you go through with it!"

"You don't know what you're talking about, it's brilliant."

"Brilliant? BRILLIANT?! Tony this is exactly how the Other Guy came around, don't you realize that?! You could _kill_ yourself, or worse!"

Loki teleported to the common room floor the next morning to find a very harassed-looking Bruce leaning against the counter, and Tony looking both exited and sleepy. Obviously neither of them had slept since Loki had seen them the previous night and he had a feeling he had interrupted some important heated discussion when they fell silent as his form appeared in front of them.

"That's still freaky, Loki," Tony quipped, his face serious. This earned him a reproachful look from Bruce, who huffed angrily.

"Good morning to you too." Loki strode slowly to the kitchen between the two glaring scientists as though he didn't notice them and began to pour some coffee. "If I am interrupting a lover's spat I can go elsewhere," he added.

Bruce looked murderous. Loki grinned triumphantly as he turned his back to them.

With a huff, Bruce shook his head and threw his hands up in frustration as he stalked urgently from the kitchen area. Loki swore he could see a tinge of green creeping through his usually fair complexion as he stamped by. He couldn't help himself; a feeling of glee at his contribution to the tension bubbled in his chest. A bit of mischief on his part. Just as Bruce approached the door to slam it open with all the angry force he could muster, the soft _click _of the door from the stairwell revealed Natasha, looking sleepy but well enough, cradling an orange kitten in her arms.

"Bruce! Look who I fou – " He took no notice of her, or her cargo, as he practically ran her over in his haste, slamming the door behind him as he went. Natasha looked after him, surprised and a little hurt, Loki noticed, and she gently set mewing cat on the ground looking noticeably put out. The bubble that had been growing in his chest deflated at her obvious dismay and Loki had to resist the urge to cross the room and envelope her in the tight embrace she looked like she could use. "What's his problem?" she asked, though she received her answer from the slightly guilty look that Tony wore and Loki's mischievous glint. "Don't tell me you pissed him off on purpose," she added darkly.

Tony shook his head and swerved around her (the cat let out a loud "YEOW" as he stepped on its tail in the process), muttering something about needed a shower and a drink.

Natasha shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose as she made her way to the kitchen; she hadn't been awake half an hour and she already needed an aspirin and as much coffee as she could handle. Loki crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the counter, watching her expectantly as she systematically retrieved a mug (and a couple aspirin) from the cabinet and began to pour the remaining contents of the coffee pot into it. "Good morning," he greeted her finally. She looked up from her cup momentarily and smiled lightly in return.

Loki moved slowly, almost hesitantly, to stand beside her. She smiled as he settled next to her as she continued to pour. "Its' still there." Her voice was quiet. "It took me a moment to remember what exactly it was. But it's still gorgeous." She smiled up at him.

"I certainly hope you remember, it took quite a bit of magic to manage such a stunning display," Loki looked down at her with his own cup resting beneath his hand.

"I'm sure it did."

He cleared his throat softly and looked down to meet her eye. "Is that the…only thing you remember from last night?"

Natasha set the coffee pot down gently and looked down at the counter. She knew this was going to come up sooner or later. Closing her eyes, she exhaled deeply.

"Natasha?" he whispered. The way he said her name so soft made her blood swirl in her cheeks and sent a shiver running down her spine.

"No," she said quietly. "I remember everything." Loki placed himself – his movements slow, deliberate, graceful – so he stood directly behind her, his hands placed on either side of her on the counter, trapping her in place. The planes of their bodies barely touched and Natasha could feel the blood gushing to her cheeks and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She turned around to face him sharply and looked up into his expecting gaze. Every nerve in her body was telling her to throw herself onto him and take exactly what she had wanted from him last night, what he wanted to give, and she wanted nothing more than to give in to their demands.

While these thoughts swam in her mind, Loki placed his hand softly on her cheek, his long fingers threading lightly into her hair and, again, hesitantly, began to lean in closer to her.

Before he could get too close however, she stopped herself. "Loki!"

Loki froze in his path. Even as she spoke, her mind was screaming at her 'What are you doing?!' She cleared her throat loudly before speaking again. "Thank you…for not taking advantage last night," her voice was almost professional sounding, clearly rejecting his advance and smothering the mood. The air between them became heavy and awkward.

Loki looked like she had just slapped him; he almost wished she had. He dropped his hands down to his side, defeated, and stood up straight once again. "You…You are welcome." It was hard to keep the disappointment from his voice as his heart sank. _**You knew this was coming, do not jest yourself…**_

Natasha panicked at his disappointed look. "I really appreciate you keeping me company – "

"You have no need to explain yourself."

" – it's just…I don't think… it's a little complicated…I really do…." she stumbled over her words, trying to find an explanation. Words were almost always her most useful weapon why did they fail her now?!

Loki slowly backed off and looked away as Natasha panicked, grasping madly at any possible way to fix this but the damage was done. Before she could reach any viable solution, the phone in her pocket rang out obnoxiously. _**Could this be any more poorly timed? **_She thought bitterly. She snatched the offending device from her pocket and answered, more forcibly than was necessary.

"Agent Romanoff….yes, Director….Yes they are….Yes, sir….We can do that, sir, we'll be there then." She hung up and looked back up at Loki and sighed, hating that this needed to end on such a sour note.

"Fury wants us all at headquarters, including you," she tried to convey her apology through her tone, but he just nodded. He teleported away in a flash of gold light, leaving her behind.

….

"We received these images from Dr. Foster and Dr. Selvig last night," Fury informed them as five of the Avengers plus Loki stood in awe in awe before him. "We need a positive identification on them. Loki, do these ships look familiar to you at all?"

Images of the familiar armada of triangular-shaped alien craft flashed on the screen in the SHIELD Director's office. All thoughts of any other matters were torn violently from Loki's mind as the blood in his face rushed away. His already pale face had no color left in it whatsoever.

"That," he swallowed hard, "that is the _Sanctuary II. _Thanos' flagship," he croaked. "And the Chitauri."

"Where are they?" Steve asked gravely. The present Avengers shared the same grave look.

"Pretty far," Fury replied, "A little over nine hundred million miles out. But we have no reading on their heading or velocity as of yet."

"When will we have those readings?" Bruce sounded more up in arms and impatient even than Steve.

Fury shook his head. "Few hours yet." He pulled a device from his pocket and placed it on the desk. Clint and Natasha shared a glance; they recognized the device to be an anti-bugging device.

"What I'm about to tell you is so classified that you will not speak of this outside of this room, even in the privacy of the tower, got it?" he commanded forcefully. They nodded. "In light of this, we've decided to go ahead and have the Gauntlet moved to its secure bunker early. Stark and Banner know this." Natasha, Loki, Steve, and Clint turned their heads to look at the two scientists. Loki couldn't help but wonder: was what they argued about that morning?

"The Gauntlet is going with Stark and Banner personally to Philadelphia to a specialized bunker," Fury continued. "The scepter," Loki's squirmed slightly as Fury's eye flickered toward him, "can continue to be in your custody in the tower."

_**So **_**that **_**is what became of the gem**_, Loki thought.

"Why not take the scepter with the Gauntlet?" Bruce asked.

Clint answered him smartly, "It would be better if we kept them separate. Plus, like Loki said, if this Thanos guy has the last gem, then the fake Gauntlet won't work. So if he takes the gem it won't be as catastrophic as if he had the real Gauntlet, or both. So, the Gauntlet is our priority" Loki was impressed – the man really didn't miss a thing. He was grateful for a fleeting second that he had the Hawk on his side once again.

"Good point," Steve shrugged.

"So what's our plan, then?" Natasha asked finally. "When he actually gets here?"

"We'll need to protect the civilians, get them out of the area, set up an evacuation," Steve looked contemplative as he spoke. "Get them in bunkers or in the subway system. Keep the fight isolated so it's focused on us. Does Philadelphia have subways? Or bunkers?"

Loki shook his head. "You forget what we are dealing with. Thanos means to destroy this world, not simply attack it. You plan as though he will attack only one place, but he will most likely choose several places in order to split your forces."

"Divide and conquer," Tony said.

"Precisely."

"Are you saying we're gonna need our own army here?" Clint crossed his arms as he thought.

"Yes," Loki started pacing around the room.

Bruce and Tony caught each other's eye.

"The Asgardians may be willing to step in on your behalf," Loki continued to pace. "The Allfather has sent his armies for the protection of your world in the past, Thor may be able to convince him to do the same again."

"I think we should hold off planning the details here until we can get Thor in on this then," Bruce said. "There's no point making a plan if it may not be feasible."

There was a general agreement among them, heads nodding and mumbled words in agreement.

"I'll inform you immediately when we have more information for you. Loki, can you get hold of Thor in the meantime?" Fury asked.

"I shall."

"Good. Until then, Stark, Banner you know what to do. Everyone else, you're dismissed," Fury stated.

….

The mood in the tower was significantly darker as the tension rose in light of Fury's newest development.

The ride back to SHIELD was quiet and heavy as each of the team members were lost in their own thoughts on the matter. Loki, for his part, left feeling more ill and jittery even than he felt when the Chitauri came for him on Asgard. This time, the stakes were significantly higher: it was not only his life and his brother's, but the beings who he had, begrudgingly, begun to feel attached to. Including Natasha. He stared at the ground as his insides squirmed and twisted with guilt and anticipation. He was crammed in beside her, their arms and sides touching from being squished together in the back seat of the car with Tony and Steve.

Almost without thinking about it at all, his hand drifted to clasp atop hers, squeezing it protectively as thoughts ran wildly through his mind. Her response was to squeeze his for a few seconds in return, and with near equal intensity, before letting go to clasp her hands in her lap. Loki took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Small and insignificant as her gesture was compared to the threat they faced, it was oddly comforting.

No one looked at each other once they were safely in the tower, each choosing to release the stress in their own individual ways: Natasha and Clint took off to the training room almost immediately. Bruce and Tony snuck away to the labs to do Odin knows what. Loki and Steve stayed in the common room floor, doing what they did best: strategize and continue to plan against their enemy, which was as close to being comforting as it was possible to be at the moment. Though it would be useless to discuss the forces available to them without Thor present, they wanted to feel as though they were doing _something _against their enemy.

"JARVIS, retrieve a map displaying the population density of Midgard," Loki ordered.

"Certainly, Sir,"

"Could you find a topographic map as well?"

"Yes, Captain."

They poured over maps provided by JARVIS of every kind: the population density and topographical maps proved most useful, though they studied other kinds such as manufacturing, resource availability, wealth distribution, and the like. They even came up with a few of their own in the few hours they spent on their task.

It was early in the afternoon when Steve decided he needed a break and wandered down to the training room to find Natasha for a much-needed sparring session, leaving Loki alone with their work. He continued to pour and fret over the maps when a loud and thunderous **BOOM! **rocked the floor and sent rumbles through the tower around and beneath him with so much force that he nearly fell from his seat at the table.

Loki jumped up as another explosion shook the floor beneath him, this one only a little less intense than the last. _**What in the Nine Realms…?**_

He sprinted to the stairwell, unwilling to teleport unintentionally to the source of the explosion. His heart was pounding like mad and he trembled near uncontrollably. His breaths were ragged and forced as he panicked. Thanos was millions of miles away last night he couldn't possibly be here now could he…?! And if he was, where were the others? More importantly where was Natasha?

He followed the series of subsequent explosions through the catacomb of the tower and breathed a sigh of relief as he realized that they were coming from the labs. Thanos was not there after all. He stopped his run and took a moment to calm his racing heart and level out his breathing. A thick cloud of smoke and sparks billowed from one of the larger labs. Through the chaos, he could hear the two resident scientists' voices.

"Whew! How about that?"

"God, this might actually work…"

"Of course it's gonna work. I came up with it."

"If we can just work out the bugs, multiply it and synthesize a biological agent…."

The panic he had felt melted away to pure curiosity. Loki cautiously approached the doorway and leaned against the doorway, his arms crossed as he watched curiously as Tony and Bruce scribbled down some notes. Tony wore his Iron Man gauntlet, the center smoking from its most recent energy blast.

"Alright this is trial 2. JARVIS, increase the levels to 20 percent," Bruce placed two new Iron Man gauntlets on separate tables on opposite sides of the room while Tony removed the one he currently wore. Tony raised his palms, a round metal circle strapped in the center of each, and aimed them at the gauntlets. In a flash, the gauntlets zoomed across the room and fitted themselves neatly onto Tony's hands.

"Yes!" They exchanged a triumphant high-five ("Ow!" Bruce shook his hand in pain from the impact of metal on his bare hand).

Loki raised his eyebrows at them. "That is impressive."

Bruce and Tony snapped their heads to the doorway, having not noticed Loki until now. "Oh hey, Loki, what brings you down here?" Bruce scribbled something on a notepad.

"Perhaps it was the massive explosion that nearly took down your manor here?" Loki's voice was thick with sarcasm.

Tony shrugged. "Experiments. Explosions happen."

"What, may I ask, are you experimenting?"

"Well," Tony began enthusiastically. "I had a thought last night while I was…slightly inebriated. We need an army, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, why not an army of "Iron Man"s?"

"Because we really need more Tonys around," Bruce mumbled. Tony glared at him in response.

Loki cocked his head to the side. "And how, precisely, do you plan to make this army of Iron Men?"

Tony picked up a test tube from the shook it playfully. "This. It's a serum. If my math is right, and it always is, it will let me control up to fifty of my Iron Man suits at once." He placed it back on the desk. "It's like the one that my dad used to make Cap, except it doesn't alter muscle groups to make them bigger. What it does is create an electromagnetic bond that can be switched on and off by the electric impulses in the nervous system, therefore allowing me to control the suits with my thoughts and movements. It's genius."

"And extremely dangerous."

Loki nodded, understanding now. "So essentially, you are attempting to synthesize a mechanical form of magic."

Bruce and Tony exchanged a look."What do you mean?" Bruce asked.

Loki strode knowingly past them to the desk. "Magic," he instructed, sounding like a British university professor giving a lecture, "is nothing more or less than harnessing the energy of the world around you, fusing it with your own, and giving it direction, a purpose. It is a part of you, it flows within you, from your very cells, in such a way that, truthfully, your magic controls you, and not the other way around." He placed his hand over an apple sitting on the desk as he spoke and made it spin of its own accord in the air.

A light bulb went off in Tony's head, an idea. "Alright, Obi Wan. So you're saying it's organic?"

"Yes."

"Hmm." Tony raised his hand to his chin, stroking it in thought. "How would you feel about helping out with this little project of ours?"

Loki cocked his head again. "In what way?"

Bruce picked up on Tony's meaning immediately. "Let us see how your magic 'flows' in you. Maybe let us get a CAT or X-Ray to see it."

Loki considered for a second. "Will it be painful?"

Tony waived his hand "Nah. They don't hurt. It'll be just like taking a nap."

He hesitated for a moment. "I suppose it can do no harm then…"

A few moments later, Loki found himself lying on his back, strapped by his wrists to a lounge bed as Tony and Bruce scurried around him, hooking up wires, turning on monitors, and flipping switches.

"I must admit, when I agreed to help you this is not what I had in mind," Loki tried to keep himself calm; this brought back too many memories of the games the Chitauri played with him for comfort and he even began to panic slightly, his heart rate going through the roof again and a thin layer of sweat forming on his forehead.

Bruce was the first to notice his discomfort. "I promise this isn't going to hurt." Loki didn't look any calmer. "If Tony does anything he shouldn't I'll set the Other Guy on him. And you know how that'll go." He gave Loki a reassuring, almost shy, smile. The image of the Hulk smashing Tony into the floor as he had once done to him was just amusing enough to calm him a little, though not much.

"Alright, you got the wand?" Tony asked as he was readjusting Loki's straps to make him more comfortable. Bruce held up the metal wand and looked up at the monitor above Loki's head and frowned. It was off.

"Shit…" Tony mumbled.

"You forgot to turn on the monitor, genius."

"No problem let me just…." Tony climbed awkwardly onto Loki's lounge so he had one leg on either side of Loki and reached up to press the button. Loki frowned, closed his eyes and tilted his head down, not wanting to see the bit of Tony that was practically in his face. As Tony stood up, however, he lost his balance and fell, face planting right onto Loki, who pushed himself as far into the lounge as he could, wishing it would swallow him as Tony's face collided with his shoulder. Bruce chuckled in the corner at the spectacle.

"Sorry, my bad, Loki…"

"What the _hell _are you guys doing in here?"

All three faces turned to see Pepper standing in awe at the sight from the doorway. Bruce's chuckle turned into an all out roar of laughter as he held onto the nearest object for stability to keel from rolling on the ground.

Tony was still crouched over Loki on his hands and knees in a very awkward position indeed. They exchanged a look before Tony acknowledged his wife.

"Lets face it, this is _not _the worst thing you've caught me doing," he said smartly.

"Well it ranks in the top five."

"Loki's helping us with an experiment and your genius husband forgot to turn on the monitor," Bruce explained as he pointed to the now-glowing monitor. He still held the wand in his hand.

Once Tony was off, and Pepper sitting patiently to observe, Bruce ran the wand over Loki's head, limbs, and torso, observing the visible energy present in his blood, Tony being unwilling to be too near him. Instead, he was content to record the images and data, giving commands to JARVIS every once in a while in the process. Loki wasn't exaggerating at all.

"Wow…" Bruce gasped.

"Is my part quite finished?" Loki asked impatiently, raising his head from the pillow.

"Yeah…Yeah…." Bruce turned off the wand and set it aside. He systematically undid the straps and Loki slipped off the lounge, rubbing his wrists in the process.

"So…you're in on this, right?" Tony asked. "You wanna make our little science bro duet a trio?"

Loki sighed as he weighed the pros and cons. At least he could do _something _useful. "I suppose so."

….

**A/N: That's right, I'm back. I seriously considered not going on with this story, but I hate to leave things unfinished… A bit shorter than what I usually write but it's something at least. **

**Anyway, another chapter down for you. A great big thank you, as always, to the favorites, follows, and especially reviews. They really do feed the fire here and let me know if I'm on track with this story or not, so let me know what you thought.**

**Next chapter: Christmas in the Avengers Tower. With Loki involved! Because I've always wondered what THAT would be like : )**


	16. Chapter 16 The Island of Misfit Toys

**A/N: Please read this note really quick:**

**This chapter is going to be a bit longer than the others. But definitely worth it. It might seem like pure crack at first, and that's because it partly is. I wrote the first part originally as a one-shot story, mostly for my own entertainment if I'm honest here. Because I've always wondered what the Avengers tower would be like during Christmas, but there are important plot points contained within. **

**It seems to be very choppy as the transitions between scenes is rough and not very skillful, and for that I apologize. This chapter was by far the most challenging to write, as it was so many scenes that just needed to happen. I combined important scenes in this chapter. I hope it's not painful to follow.**

**So without further ado, please enjoy Part 1 of 2 of an Avengers Christmas.**

**From The Ashes**

**By Anna Morgan**

**Chapter 16 The Island Of Misfit Toys**

It was early in the afternoon when Thor returned to the tower.

No one even bothered to look up or question the fact that a thunderstorm had erupted in the middle of a blizzard. The tower's occupants –minus, mysteriously, the Iron Man and Captain America – were gathered in the common room floor. The master assassins and partners in crime sat back to back, leaning against one another, in the Nest; Clint cleaning arrows and attaching different tips while Natasha faced outward toward the sitting area, a book open in her lap. Pepper sat at the dining room table pouring over some company work, no doubt, mumbling under her breath as she typed furiously on the laptop in front of her.

Bruce and Loki were locked in an epic chess battle, a ritual they had established and kept to daily now, ever since Loki agreed to assist with his and Tony's project. Their trio had spent hours that morning in the labs, making little to no progress on their work, much to thir frustration. Time was running short, they knew and their lack of answers was grossly irritating and disheartening. This Midgardian game seemed to be a good outlet for their mental frustrations. Every once in a while Loki's eyes would divert to catch the master assassin's, who simply gave him an encouraging smile and returned to her reading as she hummed her lullaby to herself softly. Somehow, the song helped Loki concentrate a little better, draining his frustration away, and he swore it was responsible for the advantage he now had over the chess master.

There was a loud crash and a rumble that shook the ceiling and the floor to signal the God of Thunder's arrival. A few moments later, his smiling face appeared in the common room floor.

"Good day my friends!" he greeted them.

Loki was about to put Bruce in check, but instead of making his move he stood abruptly, his focus completely gone from the game, conjured a great ball of green energy in both hands and blasted them at Thor. So hard was the force of Loki's magic that his brother actually was knocked off his feet, hard, into the wall behind him.

"Woah, Loki, what the hell?" Clint jumped from his Nest with his bow and an arrow in hand.

"_You_ are an utter and absolute _ass_," Loki hissed with narrowed eyes as he strode to his crumpled brother. Thor chuckled.

"My, how Midgard has taken its toll on your vocabulary, brother," he gathered himself and rose to his feet, smiling.

"And when, precisely, did you intend to inform me of your nuptials?"

Thor's smile disappeared, replaced by a more serious look. "I apologize, Loki, but when last I saw you, you were in no mood to receive such news. Or I would have shared with you first."

Loki rolled his eyes. "And I suppose you thought I would take it better hearing it from _Stark _first?" He shook his head.

Thor opened his mouth to speak again. Before he could answer he was interrupted by the loud 'Ding!' of the elevator. The doors slid open to reveal Steve and Tony, the latter huffing and puffing, as they dragged a massive Fraser Fir tree through the threshold.

Loki momentarily forgot his dilemma with Thor at the strange view before him. "What is _that_?"

"_That, _Obi Wan, is a Christmas tree," Tony huffed as he and Steve picked up the massive tree and leaned it against the wall. Natasha and Bruce abandoned their posts and made their way curiously to the elevator.

"Yeah," Steve pushed the tree against the wall. "I know things have been… a little tense," Steve explained, "with everything going on. We" he motioned to Tony and himself, "thought a good, old-fashioned Christmas celebration would be just what the doctor ordered." he shrugged sheepishly.

Thor and Loki looked at each other, their quarrel momentarily forgotten. "What are we celebrating?" Loki cocked his head to the side curiously.

Steve launched into a quick explanation about Jesus, and the circumstances surrounding his birth, as Tony and Bruce took over situating the tree in front of the panoramic window.

"Let me see if I understand correctly," Loki lowered his head skeptically. "You are celebrating the birth of the eldest son of an all-seeing, all-knowing deity, whose purpose is to protect the Earth and its inhabitants from the forces of evil while showing undeserved, unrequited affection to humans? Am I quite correct?"

"Pretty much," Bruce called over his shoulder.

"So essentially… you're worshiping _him_?" Loki pointed to Thor.

Everyone, even Steve with his religious devotion, laughed heartily. Tony even gave him a round of applause.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the voice of reason," Tony presented his hand toward the darker god.

"I knew we let you stay here for a reason," Natasha smiled as she elbowed him playfully in the side. Loki couldn't help grinning along with them.

"Well, hey there's a few boxes downstairs in the lobby that need brought up, if you guys wanna help." Steve brought them back to the task at hand as he wiped his brow of some dirt and pine needles.

Loki gave Thor an annoyed, impatient look as Clint, Bruce, and Natasha filed past them. "We _will_ speak on this later," he hissed.

"Of course," Thor looked somewhat more grave than he had a second ago. "I have more pressing matters to discuss with you before I return." He placed one hand on Loki's shoulder and forced a smile. "Come. We will forego this business momentarily. Let us enjoy time with our comrades while we have it."

_**You mean **_**your **_**comrades**_, Loki thought, _**but for one exception. **_

By 'a few boxes,' clearly Steve meant the Mount Everest of box piles.

It took each and every hand in the tower to haul the mountain's worth of cardboard boxes filled with ornaments, garlands, wreaths, and a very gaudy-looking, multicolored star to match the ostentatiously large tree. Loki and Thor arrived to see all involved (including Pepper, who was dragged by Tony from her work) scrambling about like ants in a colony, passing boxes, assembly line style, to the elevator for Steve and Natasha to escort to the common room floor.

Loki stood to the side and smirked mischievously as they worked before grabbing one of the boxes and teleporting away in a flash of gold light. Once back on the common room floor he waited in front of the elevator for the next load of boxes to arrive with Natasha and Steve before teleporting with a self-satisfied smirk, as if to mock them, back down to the lobby, leaving them looking stunned and annoyed.

Finally, after what seemed to be the world's longest elevator ride in Natasha's opinion – all eighty-six floors of it – the doors opened. "You're an obnoxious bastard sometimes," Natasha chastised the God of Mischief as she stepped out and bent down to pick up another box of garlands.

"Oh, but you secretly enjoy it." He smirked.

Natasha rolled her eyes, but he could see an air of amusement cross her face as she straightened. Feeling like living up to his title, he swiftly wrapped one arm around Natasha, who squealed in surprise, and teleported again to the common room floor.

Natasha crumbled to the ground, breathless and coughing and sputtering. She dropped the box, spilling its contents all over the floor, to clutch her chest and her abdomen trying not to wretch. She felt sick. Above her, Loki still grinned.

"Do my ears deceive me or did the _infamous Black Widow_ just squeal?" He laughed.

But he wasn't laughing a moment later when she gave a mighty leap, wrapped her legs around her neck and flipped him forward, sending him crashing hard to the ground.

"Oomph." He grunted, his smile gone. Above him, her face was stern.

"_Don't you ever do that again," _she leaned over him and hissed, her brilliant sea-green eyes narrowed.

He managed to flip himself around to face her, and before she knew it, she was suddenly lying on her back, his face hovering just inches above her with his strong hands pinning her by her wrists. She gasped when she felt his cool breath against her ear as he leaned down to whisper, "As you wish. _Your imperial highness._" He planted a quick kiss just below her ear as she growled in retaliation, and then teleported away, still grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Natasha lay on the ground staring at the spot where his face had been just a second ago, breathless for an eternity as blood swirled in her cheeks and a heat pooled in her lower abdomen. Finally, she shook her head and slowly dragged herself to her feet, though doing so didn't even begin to chip away what she had felt...

….

The rest of the day was spent hanging decorations all around the common room floor, which included all manner of evergreen garlands, multi-colored lights, and luminous ornaments and soon, the place was transformed into a gleaming, immaculate Christmas display. Of course, Clint had decided the most efficient way to hang the garlands was to attach them to the tip of an arrow and shoot them into place from the Nest. So within the garlands lining the perimeter of the room, there were arrows sticking out at perfectly even intervals. Tony recruited JARVIS to play soft Christmas carols in the background as they worked. Steve and Bruce turned out to be poor decoration coordinators, and had to rely on Natasha and Pepper's expert advice to keep the place from looking too gaudy. Even Loki had eventually given up some (though by no means _all_) of his mischief to chip in, using his magic to help bring the boxes upstairs and coordinate the lights to blink on and off and change colors with the tempo of the music.

Not an inch of space was left untouched; even the dining area table was lined with a dark green garland intertwined with white lights along its edge. It was, in a word, beautiful.

Eventually the issue of where to hang the stockings arose, and the most feasible solution, they concluded, was to hang them on the only fireplace in the tower – on Natasha's floor.

With the decorations hung, and a few more minutes of daylight left before nighttime stole the sun away, the Avengers and their former adversary set to work on their final task for the day – decorating the tree. `

"Whew," Steve breathed. "Look at this place!"

"Looks great," Bruce nodded in approval.

All but Natasha took part in this activity, having busied herself away in the kitchen, scrambling ingredients for some secret concoction that she refused to tell anyone about. Loki inwardly mourned the loss of her presence at first, but found that he was quite enjoying himself after a few minutes. He still didn't quite understand the point of this silly Midgardian celebration, but it didn't matter. _**This is not so terrible, **_he thought as he used his magic to place a dark green ornament near the top of the tree. He even got amusement from the archer's rather unconventional way of hanging garlands. All in all, it was not quite on the grand scale that celebrations on Asgard were but it still was not _terrible _by any means. He felt a strange closeness to these people at the moment, almost like companions, as they worked side by side, the air calm and pleasant between them all.

He mentally scoffed at himself. _**They put up with you because of Thor, **_he argued with himself. _**Only one, besides your brother, would care to have you in their presence. **_In his mind, he smiled to himself as he thought about her, how her cheeks burned against their will as he pinned her beneath him only a few hours ago. True, she had rejected his first advance, but her body language earlier betrayed her. Perhaps he could make another attempt, and she would change her mind…

"Alright, star time!" Tony exclaimed, bringing Loki's attention back to the task at hand. Bruce reached forward to take it from his hand, a ladder perched against the wall. But Tony shook his head. "Whoa there, big guy. I know someone better to do this." He turned around and held the star as far from his chest as he could toward Loki, who frowned.

"I am not your servant, Stark, and I will not be ordered about," he declared proudly. "My magic will not be used for your parlor tricks any further than they already have."

"Aw, come on Loki, it's an honor, the Lord of the Manor usually does it and we're letting _you _do the honors," Tony grinned boyishly. Loki narrowed his eyes suspiciously, suspecting an ulterior motive

"Go on, brother!" Thor encouraged.

Loki sighed and rolled his eyes and strode forward, practically snatching the star from Tony and mumbling under his breath all the way to the tree in the corner of the room. He let go of the star, which hung in midair, raised his hand and orchestrated the ugly thing so it perched neatly atop the tree.

Tony suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. "Loki, don't take this the wrong way," Loki turned around and looked at him with one eyebrow raised suspiciously. "but is anyone else reminded of that Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer movie where the snow man puts the star atop the tree?"

There were smiles all around the room, though Thor and Loki looked somewhat lost, though not confused; they were used to not understanding Tony's references by now. "You know I just realized, now you say that," Bruce thought aloud, "_never_ has there been a more perfect personification of the 'Island of Misfit Toys' than us," Bruce rounded his hands in presentation to all in the room, grinning fondly at them all.

Out of nowhere, a decorated pinecone-Christmas tree zoomed across the room to hit Tony expertly in the back of head, earning a round of amused chuckling from all in the room. Loki turned around to see Natasha, smiling amusedly from the kitchen area looking entirely too smug as she stirred something in a large pot on the stove. The smell of chocolate and peppermint suddenly became all too noticeable as it flooded the senses of all in the room.

"Tasha, what is that?" Clint clipped from the Nest.

She smiled. "_You _know what it is."

Clint grinned like a child being given candy. "Oh yeah, I love that stuff!" He leaped down from the Nest, landing lightly on his feet and made his way to the kitchen. Loki couldn't help but feel an overwhelming urge to curse the living daylights out of the man as a wave of jealousy of his continued closeness with the object of his own affection erupted in his chest.

"What is it?" Steve followed Clint to the kitchen, where Natasha was now pouring the contents of the pot into several mugs.

"Peppermint hot chocolate."

Clint grabbed a couple of mugs, now adorned with whipped cream and crushed candy canes, and passed them around the room, thanking Natasha politely, though with an air of distance. It seemed he was still walking on eggshells, a fact which didn't escape Loki's notice. The storm waters began to calm in his chest.

Natasha was the last to emerge from the kitchen, clutching her own mug, as well as one for Loki, which she handed to him before drinking from her own. He spied Thor practically chugging his down and grimaced slightly at his brother's lack of manners.

"Thor, have you no sense of propriety?" Loki chastised. "Do at least _pretend _to have more manners than a _bilgesnipe_."

Thor grinned defiantly behind his cup before he answered. "It is simply my way of acknowledging that Natasha's drink is enjoyable." He returned to his mug, chugging the warm liquid again.

Loki rolled his eyes. "By the _norns _I am glad sometimes to not be related to you by blood." He took a sip of his own mug.

"Oh yeah, before I forget," Tony piped up after taking a sip. "Happy birthday, Your highness," he grinned.

Natasha suddenly looked very annoyed as she gave Tony an 'Are you serious' look.

"Oh happy birthday Natasha! You never said anything," Pepper exclaimed.

"Why didn't you tell us!" Bruce wrapped an arm around her (Loki thought he might shatter his mug he was gripping it so hard). "Happy birthday."

"So how old are you now? Twenty-six? Twenty-seven?" Tony teased. "God you're not over the hill and turning thirty are you?" The air in his voice, however, told that he already knew the answer to his own question.

"You mean you don't know even after snooping in my file, Tony? God you're losing your touch," Natasha looked stoic, though Loki could see the storm brewing in her eyes.

Clint grinned knowingly "Yeah, Natasha, why don't you tell us how old you are?" He took another sip of his hot chocolate, looking smug.

A murderous glint passed over her eyes for a second before the storm passed and the normally unreadable look returned. Loki was pretty sure he was the only one who noticed. After a few seconds Natasha answered, matter-of-factly. "I was born December 24th, 1938."

The next two seconds were some of the most comical any of them had ever experienced: Steve spit out a deep gulp of hot chocolate and peppermint that he had been drinking, there were several 'What?!'s exclaimed simultaneously, and Bruce withdrew his arm to look incredulously at her.

"And here we thought _Barton _was the cradle robber," Tony exclaimed, earning an elbow in the ribs from his wife.

"How are you seventy-five years old?!" Bruce still stared at her as if she were about to spontaneously combust.

Natasha shrugged. "I was a lab rat, just like Steve," she nodded toward the Captain. "_They _wanted to get as much use of me as they could, so they developed a serum, similar to the super-soldier serum, that delayed aging, among other things." She took a sip as if it were no big deal.

"You know what this means, Clint?" Bruce looked directly at the archer as he spoke. "You're the only one here who isn't a mutant or a freak."

Loki turned to Thor, grinning, and spoke in a language that no one, even Natasha, understood. Thor laughed heartily in reply.

"What?" Natasha asked.

"You people are so very young," Thor shook his head, smirking. "I would be afraid to reveal our ages in Midgardian years."

"At least a millennia apiece, I imagine," Loki looked pensive as he spoke. "Thor of course, being only slightly older, perhaps a century or so of your time, than myself."

Thor then launched into a series of tales about his and Loki's past and Asgardian time in relation to Midgardian time. Natasha gave the younger god a 'thank you' look for his distraction from her, absorbing the attention originally meant for her.

Eventually, they moseyed their way back into the sitting area of the common room floor, by now having covered many different topics, leaving the subject of Natasha and her age behind. By the time Loki took his seat at the bar area, slightly apart from the others, he was feeling content; not quite as though he _belonged _there, but not feeling unwelcome either. For once, he didn't feel like a complete outsider among these people. Thor and Tony, to their credit, put a lot of effort into attempting to include him in their conversation. Though he would add a comment here or there and laugh a bit when it was appropriate, his thoughts were wandering around the swirling vortex of entropy that was his mind at the moment.

Each time he thought that he felt at ease, he had to remind himself that this would all end soon enough, when the Chitauri and Thanos made their assault against this world, and even _if _they were able to defeat him, and he somewhat doubted that, there would be no place for him among these people afterward. He would be sent back to Asgard to face justice there, for surely they couldn't harbor him forever. Suddenly, his mood fell a bit, and his eyes rested on the now smiling woman who sat beside his brother. He swallowed hard. He couldn't deny that he felt for her. The thought of being sent back to Asgard, never to see her again, genuinely made him feel ill. How had he allowed himself to come to this point? This sentiment…had never boded well for him in the past. What would he do once she was gone? _**Conceal it, attempt to forget it, as I have done in the past I suppose… **_

"So… who's going to midnight mass with me tonight?" Steve asked hopefully as he placed his empty mug down. "Anyone?"

Natasha shook her head. "Sorry, Cap, you know I would burst into flames if I stepped foot in a church," she said, only half-joking.

"Me too," Tony shrugged.

"You know what?" Bruce stood up "I'll go with you. Why not?"

Steve's face brightened a bit, and he looked relieved. "Oh thanks! I thought I was going by myself!" Steve stood up. "Thor, you wanna go? Explore some 'Midgardian' culture?"

"Of course I shall, my friend!" Thor smiled brightly. "Brother?"

"Ah, but I am not permitted to leave the tower," Loki searched for an excuse not to go.

Bruce waved his hand dismissively. "It's Christmas. We can make an exception."

….

Much as he hated to admit it, the God of Mischief found the short field trip to be mildly pleasant, despite the fact that he really had not wished to go. He found the old cathedral was beautiful with its stange architecture and colorful glass windows. The pleasant voices of the chorus ringing through its vast chamber were soothing and calm, unlike the coarser and out-of-tune songs that tended to fill the halls of the palace of Asgard during large celebrations. It seemed he finally found a bit of Midgardian culture that was not as unruly as he originally perceived that he appreciated. The only flaw to the trip was the absence of the one person who he made to visit now.

As soon as he rematerialized, the familiar warmth of a blazing fire greeted him as a wave of heat washed over face. The fireplace was alive in the far corner, giving the room an undulated orange glow. The stockings bearing each of their names, Loki's own included, hung proudly over the mantel. Looking around, he first thought the room was empty and made to knock on her open bedroom door when something caught his eye mid-step. Sitting on the floor with her legs bent in, resting her temple on the edge of the sofa cushion, was the Black Widow, sound asleep, with one petite hand laying on a closed book near her knee. Loki smiled to himself at the sight of her; Gods, she was beautiful.

He almost hated to do it and risk waking her, but the overwhelming desire to touch her was too much for him just then. Slowly, with as much stealth as he could, he approached her sleeping form. He kneeled in front of her, drinking in the sight before it was destroyed forever by what he was about to do, and cautiously slipped one arm around her shoulders while placing the other under her knees. All the while, he half expected the master assassin to awaken and make a repeat performance of throwing him mercilessly to the ground (not that he would object), but still she slept on. Loki released the deep breath that he wasn't even aware that he was holding. Once she was in a comfortable position, he stood, cradling her as tightly against his chest as he dared without waking her. With the same stealth he employed in approaching her, he made his way around the sofa and into her bedroom, and laid her gently on the well-made bed. As he removed his arms from her, she stirred slightly. Loki froze; he wasn't sure how she would react to seeing him suddenly, and uninvited, in her bedchamber.

Her eyes fluttered open and she sat bolt upright, just as he suspected she would. Before she could move to strike him, Loki fumbled to find her hands in the dark and clasp them tightly. She struggled against them.

"What the - ?!"

"Shh, Natasha it is only me," he said as calmly as possible. Almost instantly she stopped struggling at the sound of his voice, and he felt her relax before him. Natasha exhaled deeply and lowered her head as if massively relieved.

"You're back early," she raised her head again so that she could barely make out his eyes as her own adjusted to the dark. "You really just scared the hell out of me."

"I apologize, I tried not to wake you," he finally released her hands. "I came only to wish you a pleasant night." The God of Mischief made to stand from the bed, but his once-enemy-turned-friend clasped his hand before he could.

"You don't have to go." He stalled. Had he heard her right? As though to reinforce her words, she tugged lightly on his hand. That was all the confirmation he needed; he swallowed hard as he lowered himself back down so he was seated beside her once again, never breaking eye contact with her. Loki allowed her to take the reins; part of him didn't want to be the one to push boundaries, while another was curious to see where she would lead. She scooted backward to pull the comforter enough for two people to slide beneath it and patted beside her. Loki had to consciously force his heart to slow its intense rattling as he moved toward the headboard, morphing his clothes to something more comfortable to sleep in as he did so. He climbed under the comforter, still not believing he was doing so – and on _her _invitation – and lay down on his side so that he was facing her as she did the same.

Figuring there was little harm in doing so now that he had found himself in this position, he draped one strong arm around her waist and pulled her forward so that she was flush against him. He could feel her shutter slightly as her warm flesh came in full contact with his own cooler body. He loved the way her heat engulfed him as if someone had just thrown a warm blanket over him. He felt safe. Slowly, he leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead as one hand made a smooth line from her hair to her back. To his delight and relief, she did not pull away nor bid him to stop; she only lowered her head slightly and scooted if possible a little bit closer to him. That was how they fell asleep – curled against each other as he continued to run smooth patterns along her back.

Of course, he should have known that wouldn't last.

….

_Loki was standing alone, in a vast dark room, so dark he couldn't see an inch in front of him. The sinister darkness stretching out on all sides of him could only be that of the Void. Suddenly from the darkness, he could hear the cold voice that he had hoped to never hear again: _

"_**If you fail, if the Tesseract is kept from us, there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevasse where I can't find you. You think you know pain? He will make you long for that so sweet as pain…"**_

_All of a sudden there was a sharp, piercing pain in his head that completely overwhelmed him. He fell to his knees, clutching his throbbing head in his hands, screaming into the darkness that no one could hear him through. Images began to flash in his head, causing fresh waves of pain as each one appeared. Some he recognized; some, however, he did not:_

_He was in the observatory, glaring down at the God of Thunder. _

" _I will not fight you, brother!"  
__"__I'm not your brother! I never was!"_

_And then he was standing before the kneeling Midgardians, his scepter poised to kill. _

"_Look to your elder people. Let him be an example…"_

_He saw himself hit the glass of his cage of the flying fortress, and the terror in her eyes as he spat at her – _

"_I won't touch Barton. Not until I make him kill you! Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear! And then he'll wake just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams, I'll split his skull! This is my bargain, you mewling quim!"_

_Asgard's golden temples crumbled to the ground in flame._

_A city he had never seen smoldered in clouds of dust and fire as what remained of his companions were scattered around him. He could hear screaming, feel the ashes brush his face and he looked down. _

_At his feet lay the Black Widow, her broken body a huddled mass of blood, her brilliant sea-green eyes staring blankly and unseeing. He tried to scream but he couldn't force himself to do so. His hands were covered in blood, blood that was not his own. _

"_**He will make you long for that so sweet as pain…" **_

_A new wave of pain hit him just then, and it was dark once more. The horrible images were gone, but their imprints were still burned into his mind. Again, the cold voice rang clearly through the darkness. _

"_**I have seen you, Asgardian."**_

"Loki!"

"_**I see now where you sleep."**_

"Loki!"

"_**You cannot hide from Him. He comes for you. For ALL of you…" **_

"LOKI!"

And then it was all gone. Loki sprang up from the bed so quickly that he lost balance and fell crashing to the floor. He was panting hard as though he had just run a great distance, sweat glistening from his forehead, and his hand clawing madly at his heart, which was threatening to leap from his chest. He looked up to see Natasha crawling quickly over to him, but before she was too close, he stood up and turned away from her to hide his panic-stricken face. He was light-headed instantly and the edges of his vision blurred. He shot his hands into his hair and worked hard to calm his ragged breathing. For a moment he couldn't remember where he was or why she was there, but as soon as his head cleared the memories of that evening flooded back to him. He was in the tower, not in the void, safe and in good company. But it had all been so real; he could even still see the beautiful red-haired woman drenched in her own blood in his mind's eye, yet there she was, safe and alive, and concerned for _him. _

_**It was only a dream**_, he chanted to himself. _**A nightmare and nothing more. He cannot possibly see you. How could he? **_He desperately reasoned with himself, attempting to convince his panicking mind to calm itself.

He could hear her slowly slide off the bed and round on him from behind, approaching him as if he were some frightened wild animal. She was here. She was alive. Wasn't she?

"Loki?" her voice was soft and he could hear a tiny drop of fear. He felt a hand placed hesitantly on his shoulder. He breathed deeply and sighed in relief. Yes, she was there. But he still wasn't completely convinced. He was still trembling nearly uncontrollably as he placed his hands slowly at his side and began to clench and unclench his fists, attempting to do anything that would relieve the tension he was feeling.

Natasha whispered behind him. "It was just a dream, Loki. It's okay…"

He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and released a deep breath as his breathing finally slowed enough to think about what he was doing. He snapped his eyes open and spun around to face her, and he saw the fear and concern in her eyes. Gently as he could manage in his current state, he cupped her face in his hands and stared down into her sea-green orbs, willing his own to say to her what words couldn't express just then. With a quickness that he hardly even registered he crushed his lips against hers. He was only forceful for a second before his lips softened somewhat and to his relief she didn't push away. Instead, she brushed her lips against his with the same intensity, raising herself up as high as her small frame would allow and slipped one arm, then the other, around his neck to pull him closer to her. His heart soared. This was how they stayed for a long time, their mouths molding together perfectly and moving in a slow, synchronized rhythm. He clung to her as though the ending of the world would come crashing upon them the moment he pulled away. It was a desperate, fear-laced kiss that progressed to one of heartfelt passion between the two lost, broken individuals who, in those moments, found they were not quite as broken anymore.

Finally, though he loathed doing so, he withdrew from her and rested his forehead against hers, their breaths shaky and ragged from their kiss. As he ran his hand through her unruly curls he swore on the Nine Realms' existence that he would do whatever it took to protect the incredibly strong yet still so fragile woman in his arms, to protect her from the fate that still burned fresh in his mind.

….

**A/N: So there you are, another chapter down. I hope the interaction between them didn't seem rushed. It has been 16 chapters after all and frankly I want some Loki/Natasha interaction! Yes, there are some loose ends here but stay tuned they shall be tied up before the end. Next chapter will probably be just as long as this one as we move into Christmas day (and all of fun and drama that ensues). **

**On an unrelated note: the reason for my absence was that I was involved in a helicopter accident and I've spent quite a bit of time in and out of hospital. I am a professional pilot and unfortunately things happen in helicopters that don't happen with our fixed-wing brethren. So, for all of you future helicopter pilots out there: pay attention to your emergency procedures; they will save your life someday! To all of you current helicopter pilots: review your emergency procedures; they will save your life someday! (Fixed-wing pilots: same to you!) It's actually quite a tale if anyone would like to hear it.**


	17. Chapter 17 Disappeared

**A/N: Sorry if the quality isn't what is usually is. Physical therapy is a little time consuming, so I've been working on this over the last couple months almost at a 2-3 sentence per day basis. **

**As always, thank you for favorites, follows, and reviews; the encouragement they supply is absolutely endless. **

**From The Ashes**

**By Anna Morgan**

**Chapter 17 Disappeared**

The Christmas morning sun in his face is what pulled the God of Mischief from his fitful sleep the following morning. A groan escaped his throat. He tried to move but he found that he could not and when he realized why he froze. Currently, he was sleeping in a half seated, half lying down position on a comfortable sofa, and he wasn't alone. Loki had refused to go back into the bedroom last night for fear that the nightmare that still rang fresh in his mind would materialize, and so Natasha had followed him to keep company. He realized that he couldn't move because one of his arms was drooped around her waist while the other circled protectively around her shoulders. He sighed contently and lowered his cheek to rest on her head as the more pleasant memories from last night flooded his mind.

No sooner had his cheek landed on her soft red curls, the woman in his arms began to stir. As she pulled herself into consciousness once more, the arm that was circled around her tightened affectionately.

"Good morning," she turned her head to plant a quick, soft kiss on his lips. It was such an innocent move but it made his blood rush and sing in his veins and his passion from last night reemerged with a vengeance. Loki's arms tightened around her and he spun her around. The next thing she knew they were face to face, her knees on either side of him, straddling his hips. He grinned hungrily up at her before lacing his hands into her unruly curls and sitting up so he could capture her lips with his own. For the moment, he forgot everything else in the world except her and how her blissful mouth felt moving so perfectly with his. He tilted her head slightly so he could taste her more fully as his tongue traced a line across her mouth before she allowed him in and met his with her own.

Finally noticing how uncomfortable his larger body was on the small sofa, he pulled away from her reluctantly. "Let us move this," he breathed.

She nodded. He delighted in the lust-darkened look in her own eyes for just a second before he gently pushed her up and they stood, their hands still interlaced. He never stopped looking into the sea-green depths that he had grown to love as they moved, and he couldn't resist swallowing her in one more kiss before they made their way.

However, fate despising him the way it did, no sooner had their lips touched, the sound of the doorknob turning snapped them out of their moment as Thor, of all the inconvenient times, came barreling through the door of Natasha's floor.

"Lady Natasha! Good Morni-" Thor stopped dead mid-word with his mouth open in shock as if someone had hit him with Mjolnir at the view in front of him. The God of Mischief let out low, frustrated growl and rolled his eyes. He turned to face his brother.

"Have you _never _learned to _knock _before you barge into a woman's chambers?" Loki asked angrily. Though she was mildly embarrassed, Natasha couldn't help her amusement at his obvious frustration.

Thor just grinned. "If I am _interrupting _you I can come back. Though I must warn you, our companions may not be so inclined."

"You're fine, Thor. Good morning to you too," Natasha pulled herself away from the darker god's grip. Loki cursed under his breath and threw his eyes toward the stockings hanging innocently over the mantel. Of course; he had forgotten they agreed to meet there that morning.

"If it is alright with you, Natasha, I would have words with my brother," Thor grinned at them still.

"Sure," she nodded. Natasha and Loki shared a glance that clearly said 'We'll continue this later.' She looked at the ground before she took her leave, entering her bedroom and closing the door. Loki watched until the 'click' of the door confirmed that she was out of earshot.

As soon as she was gone, Loki turned again to face the God of Thunder and raised a threatening finger. Before he could say a word, however, Thor spoke first, still grinning:

"I'll hear not another word about Jane."

"You know not what you speak of – "

"Perhaps not but I know well what I saw," he mocked.

"Regardless, you will speak of this to _no one_," The look in the darker god's eyes was very serious indeed. Thor nodded. "Of course not. But we will continue our discussion now, for I have grave news to deliver." Thor was no longer smiling. Loki turned his head curiously.

Thor took a deep breath before speaking again. "First, I wish to apologize for not telling you of my plans with Jane. However, I have a more pressing matter to discuss with you." His voice was completely void of any amusement.

"Father has fallen ill," Loki raised his eyebrows in surprise. "He has entered into another Odinsleep."

"Again? He has barely awoken from the last time." Loki was surprised to find that he almost cared. Almost.

"Mother has refused to leave his side," Thor took a deep breath, "The throne has passed to me now." His voice was serious, almost solemn, absent completely of the arrogance and greed that once dripped from it. Loki stood in shock; Thor is the king of Asgard. The king of Asgard. _His _brother… The irony of Thor's words, so similar to his own when Thor had been cast to Earth, was not lost on him. How apropos that the false words of the Lord of Lies would turn to truth and return to haunt him.

"Then what of your nuptials?" Loki asked quietly.

"I wish to proceed with them upon my next return to Asgard."

Loki shook his head in disbelief. "Thor, I would urge you to delay this plan,"

"Why do you speak thus?"

"Hear me: Thanos and the Chitauri make for this realm as we speak. The mortals have seen them." It was Thor's turn now to stand with widened eyes. "As such, they are most likely planning a multi-pronged attack upon Midgard. We will need an army with which to fight them." Thor looked confused. "It is well-timed indeed then that you should ascend to the throne on the eve of battle, for we are in need of such forces and a powerful leader." Thor looked proud as Loki placed one hand on his shoulder. "But do you realize what your marriage would do to our home?" Loki looked very seriously at him.

"I do not."

"A mortal woman – the queen of Asgard!" Loki said as though the answer were obvious.

"I do not understand."

"If you marry a mortal woman, Thor, you will alienate the noble families with an eligible daughter, whether it is your intention or not! You would be seen as dishonoring your crown by a marriage to a woman of a perceived inferior race, who has no working knowledge of our laws, and then march off to war and leave her to rule Asgard in your absence! Imagine the unrest it will cause, amplified by the injustice of allowing me such a light punishment for my crimes."

"You _have _been punished enough for your crimes, and let us not forget our mother is not an Aesir," Thor pointed out.

"Yet not so lowly seen as a mortal."

"Jane is an amicable woman-"

"That matters not!"

"She will be just-"

"Thor, you must see!" Loki emphasized. "If you marry your mortal woman now, you will cause Asgard to fall to a state of social, and political, unrest and then leave it to a woman who is incapable of calming the situation, and even less capable of _ruling_, while you march away to battle from which there is a possibility you may not return. You _must _see the damage you would inflict upon Asgard." He looked at Thor as though he were the greatest fool in the world. "I would advise you to hold off on your nuptials, allow Mother to rule as she has done in the past, and then proceed once we are through with our business here."

Thor nodded slowly. Of course, Loki was right. He was acting rashly, based on emotion and not logic.

"I would also urge you to surround yourself with advisors, brother, and heed them," Loki concluded. "Quickly."

"That leads me into my next subject," Thor took a deep breath. "I wish for you to be my chief advisor."

Loki leaned back away from him in surprise. "You have gone mad," he finally said quietly.

"Have I?" Thor challenged "You have already given me more valuable advice than any of our Father's advisors, and without my even asking for it."

Loki stood, stunned, his world thrown off its axis momentarily. "I shall consider. But know that I believe your proposal to be unwise."

For the second time that morning, the door to the Black Widow's floor was unceremoniously thrown open, revealing a sunny looking Steve and Pepper, and a tired Tony, effectively ending the brothers' conversation.

….

The Christmas day celebration turned out to be one of the most remarkable days that Loki had ever experienced in his many hundreds of years of life. The day started with Steve and Natasha making breakfast for the team and Loki, the rest of whom had arrived not long after Steve, Pepper, and Tony had, as they sat around the fireplace munching on Midgardian sweets that had been placed in the stockings the night before. The meal was not rushed and before the troupe moved to the common room floor it was already noon. The bright sun had retreated by then, in its stead was another thick curtain of snow, adding to the several inches that already lay in a thick blanket on the ground.

This set the scene for the most intense snowball fight ever to occur in this realm; of this Loki was sure. They were on the balcony, only because no one felt like riding the elevator to the street level. They had started off in two teams – Thor, Bruce, and Steve versus Tony, Natasha, Clint and Loki (Pepper opted out of this activity) – but had soon turned to an 'every man for himself' scenario with snowballs zooming around everywhere. The air between the Avengers and their former adversary was lively, friendly, and companionable despite the rather violent nature of the activity they were engaged in.

Loki was the clear winner in this game, being able to not only form many snowballs and direct them at his opponents by magic, but also being able to replicate himself as he had done in Stuttgart so long ago and attack each of them one-on-one. Only Steve had managed to stay in the game long enough to really challenge Loki, but had soon caved when he was attacked by four of the God of Mischief at once as the others stood around with smiles, laughing along with the trickster and cheering him on (his heart swelled and sang with rapture at their encouragement) as Captain America batted at the air like a cat with an invisible string in its face trying to avoid being hit.

And so, with red noses and numb fingers, the occupants of the tower gleefully made their way back inside feeling cheery and with a strong air of companionship, still laughing at Loki's clear-cut victory over their leader. Loki couldn't help the euphoric feeling of camaraderie with them just then. Even Clint had cheered him on and been mildly pleasant toward him.

At present, having finished their small-scale icy battle, they were seated in the common room floor together, sharing Midgardian wine and liquor and enjoying each other's company. Clint was in the Nest alone; Bruce, Natasha, and Steve occupied the sofa; Thor sat in one of two oversized chairs while Pepper occupied the other. Although he was quite content in their company, Loki chose to sit at the bar, still slightly separated from the rest, as he always did. The reality of his impending departure still floated in the back of his mind, though he didn't dwell on it. Not today.

Instead, he dwelled on the fact that something – _something – _was different. He didn't know what it was but could feel it in the air, in his very bones. It didn't even necessarily seem to be negative, just different. And he couldn't place his finger on what.

Tony leaned on the bar behind him, surrounded by various bottles of Midgardian alcohols while taking shots from a bottle of vodka.

"Romanoff!" he called. "I know you aren't going to make me finish this by myself." He held up the bottle and gave it a shake.

A wide grin flashed across Natasha's face as she set her current drink down and happily approached the bar. Loki watched as Tony filled two shot glasses to the brim, setting the bottle beside them. Much to Loki's delight, instead of grabbing the shot glass however, she swiped the whole bottle of the Russian drink and took a sip.

"Thanks, Stark," she grinned smugly before turning and heading back to her seat with the bottle in hand as the others laughed at their host's stunned face. Loki could have sworn he caught her wink at him as she did so. Tony turned to the now grinning God of Mischief, who wore his signature mischievous grin, and pointed accusatively at him.

"You! _You_ are a terrible influence!" He took both the shots in front of him.

"I know not what you speak of." Loki grinned as he took another sip of his own wine. It wasn't bad for a Midgardian drink.

As he set his glass down again on the bar, his eyes rested on the strawberry-blonde woman, still laughing radiantly, and suddenly, a light bulb clicked on in his mind. _That _was it. _That's _what was different.

Even as Loki's realization formed in his mind, Tony rounded the bar to make his way to his wife, but only made it a couple of steps when the God of Mischief's arm flew out to stop him.

"We are joined by one more tonight," it wasn't a question, but a statement. Tony looked at him in total disbelief. "Aren't we?"

Tony raised an eyebrow at him suspiciously. "How the hell did you find out?" he asked in a hushed voice.

"It was just a feeling."

The billionaire-genius shook his head. "God, that's freaky." Loki grinned proudly in response. "Seriously though, we're trying to keep it under the radar until she's ready for everyone to know."

Loki nodded. "I will keep your secret then. I only wished to confirm my suspicions."

"Yeah. Thanks Rudolph."

Loki dropped his arm and watched as Tony approached the chair that Pepper occupied and helped her up, only to sit her gently back down again on his lap.

From the living room, Thor stood up. "I thank you, friends, for your hospitality! This is a fine celebration indeed!"

Steve said almost shyly. "I'm sure it's nothing compared to Asgard," and took a sip from his cup.

Thor waved his hand dismissively. "Nonsense! What is a grand celebration compared to the simple pleasure of our fellowship, my comrades in arms?" He smiled proudly at them all.

"Well we're glad to have you here," Steve smiled.

Loki took another sip of his wine as he gave a clipped laugh.

"So how exactly _do _you celebrate in Asgard?" Tony inquired. "Drunken brawls, Whores? Goat sacrifices…?" Pepper smacked him on the arm ("Tony!"). At this, Loki could not keep quiet. He looked horrified.

"By the Gods, no!" he exclaimed wide-eyed. "Why ever would we sacrifice a creature's life in celebration? No, Stark, I am afraid that is a strictly Midgardian occurrence."

"Aww, Loki is an animal guy," Clint cooed mockingly from the Nest. "That's touching."

Loki narrowed his eyes dangerously.

Thor laughed heartily and made his way across the room to place his hand on Loki's shoulder. "My brother is indeed well-versed in the care of creatures of Asgard. In fact, there is a particularly touching tale with a certain horse – " Loki clasped his hand quickly over the golden god's mouth and gave him a quick, swift kick to the shin.

"You will have to forgive my brother, he knows not how to hold his tongue when he is inebriated," he shot Thor the most hateful of looks and stomped on his foot for good measure, which earned him a painful grunt.

"Oh Loki!" Pepper whined a bit. "I want to hear the story! Come on," She urged.

From her seat, Natasha caught Loki's eye with an enlightened light in them, though she didn't speak. Of course she would pick up on that…s

Thor removed Loki's hand from his face cautiously as a child would ask a parent's permission for something "Perhaps Loki will share his story another time, but to answer your question, Stark, we are not so different with our ways of celebrating." Loki breathed a sigh of relief and silently thanked his brother. Thor continued: "There are grand feasts, ballads and tales of valor and gallantry in battle, and copious amounts of mead."

To that, Tony raised his glass and smiled approvingly before downing the rest of his scotch.

"You know," Tony thought aloud, "it surprises me sometimes, how much we have in common with each other." The others looked at him with varying degrees of curiosity. Such an insightful thought coming from _Tony _of all people.

"Oh yeah?" Natasha finally spoke. "How so?" she asked, though, Loki knew, her tone clearly said she knew the answers already, as they all did.

Tony cleared his throat, "Well for one thing, we're all orphans, except the Hardy Boys over here" he pointed his empty glass at the Asgardian brothers at the bar.

_**That is Arguable…**_ Loki thought bitterly.

There were heads nodding all around.

"_None_ of us," Bruce added, "can be considered anywhere _near _normal by any standard."

"Wait though," Natasha piped up "didn't we establish last night that Clint is 'the only one here who isn't a mutant or a freak'?"

"Uh, I think the way circus boy turns his head completely away from a moving target and still hits it without trying is pretty freak-ish," Tony defended.

"Hn. Fair enough…"

Loki appreciated the fact that the archer's only response was to flash a self-satisfied grin. There were some respect points beginning to be awarded toward his former accomplice-turned-adversary here.

Rather than defend himself, Clint added to the list. "We all have some sort of serious issue too," (there were several agreeing words and knowing expressions), "But probably none more so than _this _guy" he pointed his thumb to the Captain, who looked mildly offended. "No offence but even Stark with his daddy issues doesn't compare to being thrown into the future, Cap," Clint finished.

"Yeah, speaking of 'Daddy issues'" Bruce quipped, "There's Loki over there acting like he isn't part of all this."

The God of Mischief's mind had been slowly wandering away like a child who had something catch his eye, but now his attention swiftly turned back to the conversation at hand.

"I am merely a wallflower in your 'humble abode'," Loki shrugged as he took another sip from his glass.

"Don't think so, Reindeer games, you're not excluded from this little band of misfits," Tony grinned. "I gotta tell ya for being so freaky, you're a good complimentary personality to pretty much everyone here."

Loki cocked his head in curiosity. "And how have you come to _that _conclusion?"

"Well," Tony sounded as though he were a professor about to prove a well-orchestrated point, "for one, you're _our _science bro," he motioned to a nodding Bruce.

_**Agreed**_, Loki admitted, though begrudgingly.

"You're Natasha's bookworm buddy," he continued around the room. "Blondie's _actual _brother…"

Loki nodded, conceding._** Also agreed, but what **_**possible **_**argument could you make for the others?**_

"Cap's new team strategist – "

_**A valid point I suppose…**_

"I don't think I need to point out everything you have in common with Brucey here – "

Loki scoffed aloud at this; he was beginning to see his point, and the truth of the matter was sinking in.

"And I'm not sure about bird boy, but we can tell he's warming up to you, even if he won't admit it." Clint glared at Tony as if to say 'Oh, please," though the fact of the matter still remained, and Loki could not deny any of the insufferable scientist's words.

"So case in point, you fit in here, and even if you won't admit it, you're part of this messed up, dysfunctional family too, Rock of Ages" Tony declared proudly.

All Loki could do at this point was nod as all eyes settled on him as though silently confirming all of Tony's statements. He could hardly believe what he felt now; only a year and a half ago all of these people would have done anything to kill him, and he them, yet they now shared a certain level of companionship and, he realized, he was glad for it, appreciated it, and was even _proud _of it. Not for the first time since his arrival, the silver-tongued God, whose most power ally and weapon was his words, was speechless.

But, before he could even think of getting a word out, an intrusive ringing followed the voice of the ever-present being called JARVIS cut through the atmosphere like a knife, shattering any opportunity he had to speak.

"Sir, Director Fury is on the line," came the monotone voice of the virtual butler. The air in the room lost all traces of warmth almost immediately, as the annoyance and disappointment in the air became almost tangible.

"Tell him we aren't available JARVIS," Tony rolled his eyes.

"I am sorry, sir, but he insists that it is urgent."

Tony sighed aloud. He knew Fury would override the protocols and barge in anyway. May as well answer the damn thing…

"Whatever, let him through."

They expected to hear the director's voice over the intercom. However, rather than hearing the director's voice, the elevator doors to opened up, revealing Fury, looking harassed and visibly shaken.

"Hey, there's Jolly Old Saint Nick. Come to celebrate?" Tony said, obviously sarcastic.

"Save it for over, Stark. We may have a problem," Fury bounded toward them. The look in his eye seemed to spell out that he had bad news. Faces fell all around the room. Loki began to feel that all-too-familiar feeling of mild panic. _**Dear Valhalla, do not say that we are under attack. Not now…**_

Natasha stood up first. "What's wrong?"

"The Chitauri haven't arrived have they?" Steve asked apprehensively as he stood as well.

"No," Fury's voice was almost shaken. "They've just disappeared."

….

You would have been able to hear a pin drop on the floor.

Loki's panic slowly began to fade into frustration and anxiety. He almost wished they would come already so he could stop living in this constant state of fear. He did not of course wish to bring battle to his newly accepted comrades, but waiting on the edge of a battle they could not avoid felt worse than battle itself ever did.

"What do you mean 'they've just disappeared'?" Tony rose from his seat, along with everyone else, to gather around the director.

"Exactly what I said. They've gone off Doctor Foster and Doctor Selvig's radar," Fury said gravely. "We've been tracking their movements since Loki gave us a positive ID on them. One moment they were being tracked successfully and the next they vanished."

As Fury spoke, the cold, high-pitched voice that haunted his dreams the night before came to mind once again: _**You cannot hide from Him. He comes for you. For ALL of you…**_

"Loki, have they ever done that before?" Steve, now in serious-Avenger-team-leader mode, crossed his arms and turned to face the God of Mischief.

He swallowed the tennis ball-sized lump in his throat. "No," he croaked. "If they possessed that capability I was unaware of it."

"As of now, you're on high alert," the Director ordered. Steve nodded in acknowledgement. "We don't have any more information on them or their capabilities, and whatever we know now may not be valid when or _if _we locate them again. I want you on standby and ready to respond at a moment's notice."

"I will return to Asgard," Thor straightened to his full height. "I do not abandon you, my friends," he added hurriedly at the looks of horror he had just earned. "Our armies have fought for the protection of this world in the past, and we shall again." Loki was massively relieved. They would need all the help they could possibly get._** But will the Asgardians be enough?**_

Bruce, Tony, and Loki, who now stood abreast, shared a panicked glance. Their work wasn't ready, it was too dangerous to test at the moment. They needed more _time…_

"Any force you can bring us would be appreciated," Fury nodded. "Stark, if you have any tricks up your sleeve now would be a good time to pull them out."

Tony nodded. He didn't respond to Fury, but instead looked at his new partners with fresh determination.

"We'll be on standby then, sir," Steve.

"Good. Don't do anything reckless right now. We're gonna need a hell of a response team for this," Fury sounded like he were a hundred years older than he was as he sighed. "Cap, keep your team safe till we need you."

"Sir."

"Agent Romanoff, I need a word in private with you. The rest of you can carry on," Natasha nodded and followed her boss to the elevator. As she walked, she glanced over her shoulder to Loki, a storm of anxiety swirled with the normally focused and stoic look of the Black Widow in her eyes. He kept her gaze until the closing of the doors cut off her glance.

Tony clapped his companions on the arm and ushered them to follow him without a word. Without hesitation, and to his surprise, Loki followed him eagerly, Bruce trailing not too far behind. They had a lot of work to do; it was going to be a _long _night…


End file.
